Stand Out

April 30, 2022

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."
Matthew 5:14-16 NIV

Don't underestimate the the need of shining!

When I started teaching, I was very intentional about sharing inspirational quotes to inspire my students to be great. One of the poems I used was Marianne Williamson’s  "Our Deepest Fear." One of the parts I appreciate are the lines stating “You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the World. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won’t feel unsure around you.” Some people can't handle the greatness some people are bringing to the table. Those who cannot handle the greatness near them have often operated in mediocrity for so long, seeing/experiencing greatness is overwhelming. When I first started walking into my purpose, I would try to reduce the skills and vision I brought to my employment. I tried to stand out. I thought I was being helpful. Truth is, I was not helping anyone using this tactic. My Sunshine recently reminded me that's NOT what we do! She told me our family does not shy away from standing out. We let our lights shine! 

 If people can't handle your light, don't shine less! Those haters just better get used to it! Dimming your light for others is problematic. When we do, we are denying opportunities to thrive. People who are great didn't start that way. They built on the good of their talents until they became great. When we dim our light, we are denying ourselves future opportunities. Protecting egos of your haters that you work with does not help them learn how to remove Haterade from their diet. It also doesn't help others who need your talents or get noticed by those who have the willingness to help you develop your talents.

It's OK to recognize your place of work may not be for you. You don't have to be the good soldier and endure indefinitely. You don’t need to feel guilty if you have to find another place to shine, even if it means creating the space so that the new place can exist. Some people believe pandemic is waning in the United States. Even if that's true, we are still experiencing side effects. One of the effects is the great resignation. The great resignation refers to people in

Sometimes you are the only light around.

various work industries who decided to retire and/or find a new (and better) employment opportunity. The great resignation was a good wake-up call for many people. It gave many people the green light to chuck the deuces to their employers and embrace the idea their worth needs to be validated. And if their current place of employment was going to recognize their greatness, then some people found different employers. Others got really adventurous and started their own businesses. What will you do with this wake-up call?! 

My time is now! Your time is now! It’s not time to stand down any longer. The world needs your greatness! Do not miss the opportunity to stand out. Whatever option you pursue, ignore the haters, and get ready to light up the world! It’s GO-TIME!!!

 
Be well!
-Elgrie J

Whatever It Takes

 

March 29, 2022

Marvel Studios set the entertainment world on fire with Avengers: Infinity War (2018). But that was only the beginning of a two-part ending. In Avengers: End Game (2019) the remaining Avengers committed to righting the wrong of an infamous villain. Before they begin this dangerous, borderline suicide mission, Captain America tells them all what is at stake. Captain America says, “This is the fight of our lives. And we’re gonna win! Whatever it takes!” I have seen End Game (2019) at least 50 times, and that scene never gets old. It still makes me want to attempt to join the Avengers to defeat Thanos and save the universe!

It is an honor to serve my kids.

I may not be able to save the universe, but I can get the opportunity to do one of the next best things: be an engaged father to my children. I love this privilege that has been given to me. I have 4 kids. So, sometimes the charge of being a daddy might appear to be taxing to outsiders looking in. During the school year, 5 days a week we gotta be out the door before the sun is up. Between work and other required adulting activities, we have to support the travel to school, band practice, art class, swim, Tae Kwon Do practice, sewing class, track, cross-country, community service, and Bible study. For the Hurd 3rd Crew, the show never stops. And I’m grateful I get to serve my kids, daily. Some people ask, “How do you have the energy to push on?” “Don’t you ever wanna quit?” My answers are simple, but not simple. At times, I do wanna quit! I wanna quit more often than I want to admit. But I have the energy to push on for two reasons: First, my source is eternal. So, when I am weak, I lean on Him who is in me. Second, because it’s not about me! It’s about them. To be parent is something everyone is not gifted to be. This reality makes me unafraid to do whatever it takes (that’s ethical) to help my kids get their wins.

As a parent, I'm gonna do whatever it takes. In Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner (1967) the great Sidney Poitier is playing as Dr. John Prentice. In this role he had a very heated conversation with his on-screen father. It was suggested by the on-screen father that Dr. Prentice owed his father. Dr. Prentice responded by stating "If you carried that bag a million miles, you did what you were supposed to do. Because you brought me into this world. And from that day you owed me everything you could ever do for me…" My kids owe me nothing! I owe them everything, but my soul. I owe them to do my part to equip them so they can utilize their agency to confidently make their own decisions. To do this, I strive to model critical thinking and create an environment where they understand they have the power to do what they believe they can do.

Amid helping my kids get their wins, I am still working for my own. I have heard some people tell me that you cannot be a great parent and go for your dreams. I don’t accept this either-or reality. If these individuals are of the Christian faith, they may also suggest you cannot know Jesus and have fun. I reject this as well! (I have found lots of fun in Jesus!) I can seek to be a great parent and push for my dreams. Over the last 4 years I have been doing just that. In 2018, I quit my job and took on the unthinkable…I became a full-time adjunct instructor at various colleges/universities to increase my odds to become a full-time faculty member at a community college. On this journey, my kids have not gotten less of me. In fact, they have had more time with me than ever before. In less than a year, my dream became a reality. For me, my dreams included my kids. And as I continue to build on my dreams, my kids will continue to be included.

When she wins, I win!

The idea of blogging started because of my daughter. It started because I met a phenomenal young woman who created a platform for girls and women around the world to find support and empowerment. That phenomenal woman made the time to listen to my questions about how to best support my daughter who has dreams that are tall enough to reach the sky. That phenomenal woman, Tiffany Pham, thought my voice was worthy enough to be an influencer on her platform. I will never forget that. My daughter wants to turn the fashion world upside down. I am here for it! I know eventually she will do it. While we wait for that day, I am willing to drive her/fly/finance her to get it done. I’ll do all of that and more cheering all along the way. Whatever it takes on my end to help her get there, please believe I’m all in until she gets the victory!

A Proud and Privileged Dad,
- Professor Elgrie J. Hurd, III

Window of Opportunity

February 28, 2022

I love a good cross-country movie

 I am a fan of most cross-country films. If you keep up with sports like cross-country, you know it is an underappreciated team sport. For the team to win, having the best runner is not enough. A winning team must be able to find a way for their top 4-5 runners to tap into their best effort to help the team have the best overall finish. As a distance runner in high school, I had to learn that winning the race did not necessarily mean my team would win the meet. In time, I had to learn that finding out what motivated my teammates to take their efforts to the next level mattered. I spent the last year of my high school experience focusing on making sure my team increased our odds of winning more cross-country meets. Back then I did not realize this was the foundation of servant leadership. What I finally began to realize, is that to win I needed to accept the fact that the effectiveness of my team was greater than the effectiveness of an individual on the team.

I had no idea my running experiences were preparing me for a calling to be a parent, mentor/coach, and a servant leader. Servant leaders seek to make the individuals who are following them to maximize their potential. For some organizations/teams, maximizing a follower’s greatness may come at the cost of the leader or the organization. A servant leader is not deterred by this possibility. As a servant leader, denying a person’s greatness is denying the world to be deprived of a gift that can change the world. This is not an option! As a parent, mentor/coach, and/or leader there is a small window of opportunity to empower individuals to recognize their greatness at an early stage in their development. Why does that matter? So, they can maximize their potential. Also, this allows individuals under someone’s leadership to reduce the chances of regret or missed opportunities.

In hindsight, my window of opportunity for teaching came in an unexpected moment. I was given an opportunity to coordinate an event for my peers in the resident hall I was staying during my freshman year of college. It didn't go as planned. It did open my eyes to what could be. Programming student events led to becoming a resident advisor, and becoming a resident advisor led to leadership and teaching opportunities for the entire university. This is my backstory to leadership and teaching. The backstory of an individual's success is important. Without knowing where someone came from it is difficult to truly comprehend the significance of their success. If we look closer, we see there was a moment that could/did change everything for each of us. For some of us, there was a moment where an intervention from someone occurred that facilitated our path towards confidence (and possibly greatness).

My son and I celebrating his 5k success

My son’s potential backstory in sports started with running long distances. To be clear, my second son is NOT a distance runner, but he's got the potential to be. He typically does not train or volunteer to run long distances. Recently, he showed me that his window of opportunity was upon us. He stated he wanted to earn a medal for a 5k race. To earn a 5k medal, you must run a 5k race. To his benefit, there was an upcoming 5k that he would feel like he earned a medal, because it was probably one of the hilliest 5k races in North Texas. But none of that matters if he was not willing to trust the process and I was not willing to guide him in the process. When it was all said and done, he earned his 5k medal, and placed in the top three of his age group…He even placed in the top ten for all boys under the age of 18. The confidence he developed in that grueling 5k was amazing. My son discovered he had a talent for running. And since that race, he has not looked back!

Like my son, there are individuals who need a push. Sadly, too many may be unsupported and unaware of the opportunity for them. Missing the window does not mean their chance to walk in their purpose/talent will never come. It likely means it will be delayed, and the world gets a delayed version of benefits. There is not time for that! Everyone is not a servant leader. But, for those of you who are, step up and do your part! I challenge you to help someone find their window of opportunity! #IAmCauseWeAre

 

Be well!
- Elgrie J./Father of the Hurd 3^rd Crew

The Worst They Can Say…

 

January 29, 2022

“You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.” - Wayne Gretzky

So many people often push for new year's resolutions. Unless we get the perfect conditions for our resolutions, our resolutions simply remain as wishful thoughts. We do not have to throw in the towel. We have options! My friend/adopted sister, Karla, gave me insight to this years ago. Unfortunately, it took me some time to realize what worked for her could work for me.

Karla went to college and majored in social work. And when she started her professional work, much of her roles were in the education and non-profit sectors. Most of her positions she loved. Most of her positions she was a rock star. Often, the organizations she worked for did not pay her what she was worth. At times, this created a gap between the things she needed/wanted to thrive personally and professionally. But that did not discourage her. Karla understood the power of not being afraid to ask others. Her rationale about asking people was the worst they can say is no. Transportation, entertainment, and even supplies for work were gifted to her because she focused on the best outcome rather than the worse.

Don't assume the answer is NO!

Too often we focus on the negative; we focus on the worst-case scenario when determining if we should consider taking any action. When we do this, we cripple ourselves from opportunities before we even get started. College applicants do this. They do not even apply to a college/university because they figure they have not shot to get in. Wayne Gretzky said, “You miss 100% of the shots you never take.” The worst thing they can say is no. They could also say yes if you take your shot! Embrace positive psychology!

Positive psychology focuses on the aspects of the human experience that help us thrive and accomplish things. Karla may not have explicitly called her efforts positive psychology; her intentions were all the same. In 2018 I wanted to thrive as an educator. I wanted to use more of my talents to create a greater impact. And I knew worrying about the noes I might get did not matter compared to the impact of getting a yes as the response to my inquiries. I reached out to colleges throughout the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex to inquire about opportunities to teach. I asked where I was teaching adjunct and asked to teach more classes. They said yes. I then reached out to a place I had considered attending nearly a decade earlier. They remembered my encounter with them. We met and I discussed my teaching philosophy and my teaching experiences. They said yes, too. One yes paved the way for more people to say yes. On my way to becoming a full-time adjunct faculty there were some nos. I did not think too much for it, because I knew it fostered another opportunity for someone to say yes. Fall 2019 I became a full-time professor of psychology and sociology at a community college because I knew there were more responses that ended in a yes than in a no. I just needed to identify the right opportunities. 

Don't be afraid of the worst. Be prepared the best of  2022...2022 doesn't have to be perfect for success. Say yes to new possibilities! What’s the worst that can happen?!

Be positive!

 Be well!
- Elgrie J.

 

 

Ain't Got the Time

December 27, 2021

Don't let the desire for perfection blind you from the possible

As I approach the start of a new decade in this life of mine, I'm getting better at being grateful for the timing of things. Issa Rae was right on time with her series finale episode of Insecure. The episode hit close to home. The idea of living in some aspect of a dream-future often seems out of reach. And too often we make the mistake of thinking it was not meant to be because the dream is not exactly how we pictured it. But that’s life! It’s not always going to be perfect. That doesn’t mean it can’t be ideal…it does not mean your dream cannot become your reality.

One way to miss out on your dreams becoming a reality is allowing certain conversations/relationships to be part of your life. At this point, I'm OK muting unnecessary conversations/relationships. My soul, my hopes, and my health need to be maintained to be able to reach my dreams. And some conversations/relationships are detrimental to those things. Being loyal or feeling guilty are not acceptable reasons to stay engaged with a conversation/relationship. Too many people wanna be heard…too few wanna be accountable or verify if their input is actually helpful. I ain't got time for that, anymore.

I'm OK ending some conversations before they even start. Conversations upholding ideologies like racism, sexism, xenophobia, and homophobia are things I do not need to engage in. Hate being masked as a correction with intentions rooted in love is a hard pass for me! I ain't got time for the clickbait! There is no need for me to engage in a dialogue that is not rooted in love, empathy, and/or a desire to understand the cultural context of others. What we say (and how we say it) matters. I seek to leave the world better than I found it. Conversations that ignore this idea are not a priority for me!

It's time to evaluate your time

I'm OK accepting my priorities will not appease everyone. My order of priorities are as follows: my God, my wife, my kids, my dreams, and everything else. At this point I'm not looking for consultations on how to rearrange them. I am not looking for people's approval or understanding of my dreams or my strategies. It's nothing personal. I value feedback. I also value the ability to accept it or reject it. Everyone does not fit my criteria to offer me meaningful feedback (and I'm learning to be OK with that). 

I ain’t got the time for the unnecessary. If I am being honest, that was always the case. I am finally wise enough to accept this truth.  What about you?!

Be well!
-Elgrie J.

Just Pause

 

November 26, 2021

"Drive slow homie!" - The artist formerly known as Kanye West

 

The pandemic has put a lot of our lives on pause. It has sent many of us in two directions. One direction is to re-evaluate our lives and make meaningful changes. The other direction some of us have tried to cling to is to operate like nothing has changed. I am guilty of this, and it has proven to not work. It hasn't worked because things aren't the same. I'm in grad school (again 🙄), teaching face-to-face and online in a pandemic, husband duties, daddy duties, and community obligations. To adjust I took a quasi-break from social media. I didn't post online. I didn't read a whole lot on social media. And to my surprise I didn't miss much. It was a good pause from things.

 

It's OK to pause from things in your
life to get right

That good pause wasn't enough! My pause needed to be more than on social media...I gotta be OK saying no...I gotta be OK focusing on me...focusing on what matters. When I applied to DBU's Ph.D. in Leadership Studies I wrote how I was willing to remove myself from fellowships and not take on a bunch of new obligations. I gotta confess, it is easier said than done. Most of my life I've wrapped my mind around being an overachiever. But, the COVID pandemic became part of my reality, and my mentality of achieving A's in all aspects of my life was now a problem. When your obligations exceed your bandwidth to maintain your overachiever mentality what do you do? You change for success or fail in stagnation. I realized I had to reflect on the lessons of my ancestors and elders for my next steps.

 

I am a descendant of people who did so much with so little. For my ancestors and elders the odds have never been in their favor in the United States. To be Black in the United States is a great paradox. The institutions are made to exclude those who are bequeathed Black bodies. Yet, the will of those in Black bodies combined with some Divine intervention made the impossible possible. So, I gotta do my part. This includes setting better boundaries and adhering to them. It also means when I've done my part to move out the way and let God do the rest. I gotta make room in my circumstances to let God do His Thing. I'm learning to attempt to control less, so He can control more.

 

I'm embracing pressing pause on the things that don't matter in the grand scheme of things. It's a work in progress I cannot neglect. The negative consequences are too severe. Now I understand when you pause from the distractions, you un-pause living! I plan to live in a more meaningful way. That's my plan. What about you?!

Be well!

-       Elgrie J

The Simple Things

July 31, 2021

A public love letter to My Sunshine...

Our story is full of simple things. A simple comment about Black beauty. A simple touch. A simple slice of pizza. I had no idea that a simple exchange in words would help me discover the best friend I've ever had (outside of Jesus).

Maybe my first gift for my Sunshine should have been a foreshadow clue on how some things would play out in our marriage. I created a candygram. That was a big deal for me. It was the first time I had made one! The candygram was full of messages telling you how you were a sweet tart and how I was a zero without you. It was a micro of my expression of love and appreciation...I didn't do grandiose...I did do intentional things from the heart.

17 years into this marriage, I'm still just a simple guy. Just give me my Jesus, my Sunshine, my kids, and some quality root beer and I'm good to go. Yet, somehow you found ways to expand my simplicity. Whether it is you tightening my locs, sharing meals, home schooling our Hurd 3rd Crew, or the peace your random, unexpected hugs bring me. Thank you for the simple discoveries.

Love "Sunday Morning"

In the 17 years of us being married, you took what we started when we courted into one of the greatest gifts of all-time. You showed me to be simply me, no matter who is around. That was/is hard. To be vulnerable to you and the world was/is scary. Prior to meeting you my vulnerability was exploited. You made it my superpower! It helped me at work to connect with people like no one else could...It helped me be a better parent. Showing my kids that their superhero sometimes falls short (and his human) was one of the greatest gifts you have given me (that keeps on giving).

So, is there more for us to do and learn? ABSOLUTELY!!! 17 years in, and we are just getting started! At age 17, we were far from having things figured out. Why would 17 years into a marriage be any different?! I hope we continue to have excitement to do things we have done; travel to places we have never seen. I hope we get to grow in Jesus in ways we never knew we could. And if for some reason all of these things are not part of future chapters of our story, I hope we do as much as we can until our story on this side of infinity ends.

It's the simple things!

I love you more now than I did when we first got married. I’m looking forward to my love for your deepening even more...I’m looking forward to all the little things to come!

"Thank you for this journey, no matter how it ends."

- Elgrie J.