There's More Than Enough

September 12, 2020

I love the film Pay It Forward (2000). I used to show it in my psychology and sociology classes to illustrate how the power of one individual can change the world. I believe it is not just an idea limited to being done in the movies.

In hindsight, I have observed the concept of paying it forward since early childhood. However, it wasn’t until middle childhood and adolescence I appreciated it for what it was. The first person I appreciated paying it forward was my mother. The experience came in an unexpected way. When I was growing up there was a time my mother spent incarcerated. While serving her time she used to help others. She poured into teens who were also behind bars. She shared her mistakes (often holding back nothing), so they did not have to experience some of the more extreme situations through the school of hard knocks. She didn't have to, but she did.

My mother’s road to a different life outside of prison blossomed out of others paying it forward to her. Those people understood the phrase "you don't know what you don't know." They wanted my mom to know; they did not want their pain to be in vain. A great poet once said, “don’t be selfish with your pain.” Our pain is not just for us. When we pay it forward, we model this motto.

I am a husband, father, college graduate, a mentor, a coach, and a professor because people have paid it forward for me. They used their blessings to bless me (in the hope I would be a blessing to others). Every day I seek to use what I have been blessed with to bless others. I do this because I believe in the definition of blessing. The definition of bless is to bestow good of any kind.

For some, the concept of blessing may seem too touchy-feely. So, let me offer another perspective: You should feel obligated to help others for at-least three reasons: 

1. It makes you better. Helping others learn something you have mastered or experienced makes you more knowledgeable on that topic/situation. As you continue to develop your own understanding, you could become a local expert on that topic/situation. This could allow you to parlay it to endless opportunities that could benefit you in the short and long-term.
2. Economically speaking (on a national level), it helps government funding be used in an empowering way. I often hear of complaints of government money being used to help the less fortunate as if it is a burden. (I think that is an oversimplification of efforts to address inequity. This is not the focus on this particular analysis). You want the government’s burden to be lightened?! Step up!!! “Lift while you climb.” When we help empower others, we help the entire nation.
3. If none of these things move you, it may be worthwhile to acknowledge you might have a self-imposed denial of how you arrived. Your success was not derived solely from you. Someone or some people helped you along the way. So why deny it? Why not do what was done for you and be a conduit for others?!

There's this capitalistic myth that there's not enough blessings for everyone to have one. Too many of us get our piece of the pie and act like we can’t share. Why is it OK for others to help you, but beneath you to do the same? In the end, we reap what we sow. So, if paying it forward is not an option for you, what are you sowing?

- Elgrie J./Prof. H.