Don't Look Back

 

February 28, 2025

There's a historical story of a man named Lot. He and his wife were told not to look back as they were being rescued from violence. Unfortunately, Lot's wife looked back. When she did, she was turned into a pillar of salt. There's a painful lesson there. Sometimes, looking back at where you come from does more harm than good.

Move forward; look forward

Earlier today, I spoke to some colleagues about how to navigate the hidden culture of the higher education industry. I told them, you gotta be willing to make yourself uncomfortable and do things you aren't used to doing. I got a lot of head nods, which is always encouraging. My hope is that all attendees will move to the next step and not be like so many others.

I'm over the people who keep recycling the following idea: I want things to be different [but they don't change anything]. They don't really wanna change. They want better results with old strategies. Too many people refuse to acknowledge an important truth: we like the idea of change but not the process to make it last. We want to remain in a state of comfort even when we need to accept being uncomfortable to get the results we want.

In February 2019 I wrote a blog post ( I’m Not Afraid of the Hustle). Growing up where I did, I had to learn to work smarter. Hard work does not guarantee anything because the rules for success keep changing. There's a podcast called The Pivot. The podcast has had several guests that have been interviewed, so that the audience (and the hosts) get details of the journey that has led to their guest's success. The last question they ask their guest is about a pivot in their life that was a game changer. This thought process has value beyond the podcast.

Pivoting isn't a one-time thing…if you want lasting success, your pivoting effort must be on-going. The change you want ain't for everybody! Some of you reading this need to know your biggest barrier is YOU! Life and/or circumstances have beaten you down to the point you believe your possibilities are indefinite impossibilities. For some of you, you must deal with the haters who don't wanna see you do well. Often those haters are people you admire and are part of your inner circle. Regardless of which one is your biggest barrier, you need to break free. You gotta move that barrier from your presentation to your past. 

There's a time and place to look back. When you have emerged out of the storm and you are thriving, then it's OK to consider looking where you came from. (If you gotta question if you are ready to look back, you ain’t ready!) But, when doubt and fear are leading the charge, put their sounds on mute! Don't look back! Keep your eyes on the prize that's in front of you!

Be well!
- Elgrie J.

What You Don't See

February 28, 2024

 “...But what they don't know is when you go home
And get behind closed doors, man you hit the floor
And what they can't see is you're on your knees
So the next time you get it, just tell 'em
It's the God in me…”  - Mary Mary

 

The top athletes spend countless hours prepping for the greatness we see

People see athletes like Patrick Maholmes, Simone Biles, Sarina Williams, and Steph Curry in their elements. To the casual fan, these athletes make what they do in their sport look easy. But that's far from the truth. Perception isn't always reality. I'm not a professional athlete…but I understand that without the work that you don't see, these unique athletic talents do not blow audiences away. I love the song by the Gospel duo Mary Mary called "God in Me” (2008) because their song fits the story of the athletes I have mentioned. But the application doesn't stop there. Anyone who is successful, it is the behind the scenes work that got them there. Success that we see in others is just the tip of the iceberg. The real work is often hidden.

I recently got a compliment about the work I do as a professor and the work I do when it comes to putting on educational workshops. What many people don't know is that I take my work very seriously. The concept of educating is not just a job to me. I am very intentional about trying to be the best version I can be in the classroom and as a consultant. So that means I am not afraid of putting in work. I am almost always looking at ways in which I can teach that will engage students better…I'm looking for feedback from my students and trying to implement their suggestions before the course ends. I am constantly dissecting the growth areas my students/supervisors/trust colleagues are identifying in how I facilitate my classes…

The prep work before the show is a puzzle I welcome! 

…I strive to be a forward thinker. I research the latest fads and the controversial topics (that are likely to not disappear) to be able to demonstrate to my students how what we're talking about in class is relevant beyond the classroom. I am trying to look at what are the best practices of consultants. I wanna know what helps them be successful. I wanna know what helps other consultants increase their referrals and increase their impact…I am not just simply teaching. I am trying to become a master of my craft when I'm not in the classroom. At home (when I am not resting), I am thinking of ways to make what I do to be the best version of me. My foundation of being the best version of me is attempting to answer how do I shrink the gap of what is polarizing to become small enough to create a safe environment for meaningful conversation and action. To me, no matter what compliments are sent my way, I feel there's a large space between where I am and where I want to be.

What I do isn't easy. It requires a level of commitment. It requires a level of reflection, and it requires a very, very focused intentionality in the things that I do. And I love every single aspect of it! Every single aspect of what I do behind the scenes allows me to do what I do in the classroom and as a consultant. I wouldn't trade it for the world. To me, it's all part of the process. And I'm here for it!!! I ain’t afraid of the hustle…I ain’t afraid of hard work that no one sees because I know the fruit the work yields.

It's important that I offer a warning to what I have written thus far. Just because you make something a priority in your life, does not mean you are gonna get the results you want when you want them. And it's not necessarily because you're not trying hard enough. My hope is that your behind-the-scenes commitment gets the results that you're looking for. And if you don't get the results that you're looking for, my hope is that you know you gave every ounce of blood, sweat, and tears. My hope is your focus and strategies were optimized to the best of your abilities. And if you do all of this, no one can say you didn't give it all. But I'm an eternal optimist…Become your own alchemist for success! Find the right formula for your dedication, timing, and resources. When you finally get those results, all that hard work will make the victory that much sweeter. So, go get it!

Elgrie J.
- A fan of your behind-the-scenes work and your life success

I Gotta Write My Way Out…

December 27, 2023
 

“Y'all, I caught my first beatin' from the other kids when I was caught readin'
"Oh, you think you smart?"—Blaow!—start bleedin'
My pops tried in vain to get me to fight back
Sister tapped my brains, said, "Pssh—you'll get 'em right back."
Oversensitive, defenseless, I made sense of it, I pencil in
The lengths to which I'd go to learn my strengths and knock 'em senseless
These sentences are endless, so what if they leave me friendless?
"Damn, you got no chill," f*****' right—I'm relentless
I know Abuela's never really gonna win the lottery
So it's up to me to draw blood with this pen, hit an artery
This Puerto Rican's brains are leakin' through the speakers
And if he can be the shinin' beacon this side of the G.W.B and
Shine a light when it's gray out?”
-Lin Manuel-Miranda from “I Wrote My Way Out”

The original Hamilton musical was something I enjoyed when I experienced it. The follow up to the Broadway smash was the remix album featuring various popular Hip-Hop, R&B, and Pop artists. My favorite song is the 2nd track featuring Nas, Aloe Blacc, Dave East, and Lin-Manuel Miranda. I love everything about this remix song. As a kid who was bullied by bullies and poverty long before my mouth found the volume to be loud enough to express what was in my heart, I found my voice in writing.

For some time now, lots of people have been asking me when I am gonna be done with my dissertation. There are so many responses in my head to these inquiries. And I've come to accept that the best response I can give is by writing it out. My short answer is it will be done when it gets done. The long answer is I'll finish when opportunity, support, and my writing find a compromise. Successful dissertations require having committee members to have your back as a doctoral student. It requires making edits in your writing that the faculty want to fit their definition of doctoral research and analysis. This expectation varies from committee to committee. But, no matter who is part of my committee, I gotta remember, I'm a writer. No dissertation committee can take that away from me.

All my life writing has been my refuge…

• Short stories
• Poems
• Narrative essays
• Analyzing the world we live in and the world that once was…
• Even when I became a parent, my short stories became my bedtime stories for my children…

There was a time before I started this 2nd attempt at a doctoral program, I did not think my writing was good enough. Writing blogs and poetry is one thing, but can my writing get me through a dissertation?! At first, I made the mistake of looking for validation during my academic journey from current my doctoral program…I listened to the hysteria of some classmates and their best practices of those who have finished their dissertation, and tried to become a student I thought I had to be…I was too busy trying to write in a way that put my voice on mute. Class after class, I felt hollow…I was giving a writing version of myself I thought my doctoral program expected. And semester after semester I felt like I was missing the mark on my writing assignments.

It took nearly 3 summers into my program at Dallas Baptist University (DBU) to learn about the value of my style of writing in traditional academia…it will not get me the highest grades; it will get me the highest level of tranquility and peace. I need that! That is more valuable than an A…sometimes being me will give an A, other times it won’t, but no matter what my writing will be my ticket to completing my work at DBU.

I must keep writing…but I cannot make the mistake that makes it OK in my mind to justify my desire to slack off from other obligations to focus on writing.  My world should not revolve around my dissertation. My responsibilities don't stop…

-       My dad duties don’t stop
-       Taking care of my health does not stop
-       Being a husband does not stop
-       Teaching full-time does not stop
-       My faith walk does not stop

Finally, I must remember doctoral writing requires LOTS of practice to be an expert. A work year is 2,080 hours…to be great at something, you need at least 10,000 hours…that's nearly 5 full-time working years…so…I won't be a doctoral writing expert when I finish this dissertation. But I believe my writing will be enough to confer my Ph.D. in Leadership Studies from DBU. Don't let the opinions of others get in the way of what you were called to do. Don’t underestimate the importance of surrounding yourself with people who value your gifts. And don’t let self-doubts consume your dreams. If you have a story to tell, tell your story! And if writing is a medium that has empowered you, write
your way out!

Write away!
- Elgrie J

My Belief is Greater than Your Doubt

November 26, 2022

I am not afraid of a good challenge

In February 2018, the Marvel Studios’ film Black Panther came to the big screen. Before the movie came out, I knew I needed to make this an experience for my whole family. So, I requested the latter half of the day off from work. I told my supervisor I would inform my students why I was leaving early. My supervisor and others thought this might give the students a bad impression; to miss class to see a movie. I told them, Black Panther was going to be more than a movie; it was going to be a cultural game changer. When February 2018 arrived, my belief became reality. Black Panther broke box office records and even made its presence at the Oscars. This fictional world of Wakanda gave hope and inspiration to Blacks and non-white people around the world.

Other movies have come out since then that were game changers…Jingle Jangle (2020), Crazy Rich Asians (2018), Encanto (2021), The Woman King (2022), and Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022). For all of these films, each had to overcome the barriers of doubters. Doubters who did not want to fund the projects. Doubters who did not see the relevance and potential impact of the films. Some rationales of the doubters were rooted in the lack of Eurocentric faces portrayed in these films, the intentional inclusion of women as protagonists, and/or wanting to strip away the stories the filmmakers wanted to tell because they didn’t agree with the success they could bring. In each of these situations, many of the doubters probably did not even realize how their biases really spoke to their lack of vision more than the possibility of what could be. Thankfully the belief of the film makers was greater than the doubts of others.

Doubters underestimated us...our kids believed!!!

I am not a filmmaker, but I have had my own share of doubters in my life. People doubted my wife and I’s decision to homeschool our children for elementary school. The haters said our children would be socially awkward and that they would fall behind academically. We knew differently. Our belief in our skillset and commitment was greater than the confidence of others’ doubts. My wife was formally trained to be a teacher, and I had my own successful experiences teaching middle school and high school. Not only did my children strive academically, but they were able to unlock their unique talents that have been part of the foundation of their self-esteem…Some doubted my wife having a home birth. They questioned the medical soundness of the decision. Some even suggested that supporting my wife could lead to the death of my wife and unborn child. The birth of our fourth son was not only one of the smoothest births my wife had, but it also provided us with inspiration to help us support mothers to birth in peace. In 2018, I quit my full-time job to be a full-time adjunct professor. Doubters told me I would have to do it forever and be unable to support my family. I believed more than they doubted. My one year as a full-time adjunct made me the most qualified candidate for a full-time faculty position. Furthermore, as an adjunct, my family was never without…I had more quality time with them than any time period as a parent.

Too often we are waiting for others to be our biggest fans…unfortunately too often they are our biggest doubters. They think they are helping us play it safe. They believe in the long run it will lead to better success for us. The reality is those people who think they are helping often facilitate our lives to an endless series of what-ifs. In turn, it leads us to living a life heavy with shame. The doubters may not know their family lineage, but I know mine! I come from a lineage of courageous people! My maternal grandmother was courageous enough to take on Mississippi that was controlled by Jim Crow. My maternal grandfather was courageous to take on delivering weapons on the front line in WWII with no weapons other than his mind and his body. My father took on a computer industry that often tried to deny him based on his limited formal education, versus his knowledge that was light years ahead of some of his colleagues (and supervisors).

They said I couldn't...this picture says otherwise

I am not afraid to be courageous in the face of doubters. Whether it is my educational pursuits, how I cheer on my wife and my children, or even how I choose to use my skills to build people up (that are frequently left out). I am not afraid to tell my story in its entirety…the good, the bad, the ugly. The entirety of my story can offer people the encouragement to be courageous in their own journey. Find your family’s origin story of being courageous. And if you cannot find one within immediate family lineage, be the genesis of your family’s origins of being courageous! Believe in what you can do, even when others want to be contrary. Your belief can be greater than the doubts of others. Lean on your faith in you and what you were meant to do in society. The doubters are coming. Are you ready to outlast them?

Stay ready! Be well!
- Elgrie J. 

Cause It Needed to Be Done

 
Dedicated to the Inspirational life of Mr. Bill Russell…Thank you!

 

August 31, 2022

On July 31, 2022 around 2:21pm CST, my Sunshine sent me this text message: “Sit down before you open this… Barack Obama’s Instagram page.” I did not need to know what it was about to know it was not good. I was right. Barack Obama’s Instagram was giving a shout out about Bill Russell, stating, “Today, we lost a giant…As tall as Bill Russell stood, his legacy rises far higher - both as a player and as a person.” That is a good segue to describe what Bill Russell meant to me. Some athletes inspire you as an athlete. Bill Russell inspired me as an athlete and as an individual.

Mr. Bill Russell changed basketball is so many ways

When I was a boy, my dad gave me a Starting Lineup figurine of Bill Russell. At the time of receiving it, I had no idea who he was. There was no Internet accessible like it is now. I had to go to local libraries to figure out who he was. I reviewed almanacs, encyclopedias, and many NBA history books. When it was all done, I learned that Bill Russell was the embodiment of success on and off the court, but for many generations that have come after him, it’s almost like there is sports achievement amnesia surrounding Mr. Russell. Some have forgotten he is part of a rare list in basketball. In one year, he won a national college championship, an Olympic gold medal, and NBA championship. He was the first Black head coach in the NBA, only player-coach to win multiple NBA titles, and he won 11 NBA championships in 13 years. Impressive is an understatement! And throughout his professional sports career he was not always the best player on his team. To me, he was the ultimate teammate on the court. He was often the best teammate on the court because he was willing to do what needed to be done to help his teams win. This holistic package is why Bill Russell is still my favorite basketball player of all-time.

Decades later, I still love playing basketball. What was true when I was a child is still true now. I was never the best player on the court. I wasn't the best shooter, or ball handler, or defender. I knew if I wanted a chance to be part of teams, I had to get out of my feelings, and figure out how I was gonna contribute…I did what needed to be done. I have held onto this mentality as a value that is a foundational aspect of what makes me - me.

In my personal and professional worlds, I do a lot of things that if I chose to promote them might bring notoriety in a monetary way. I edit textbooks, consult for municipalities, volunteer with numerous non-profits, and mentor others. Rarely, will you hear me sharing those things in casual conversation. It is not because they are not important. It is because the recognition is not at the center of why I do it. I picked up this approach from Mr. Bill Russell. He was the ultimate teammate in the community, too. Even in the twilight days of his life, you will hear stories of Mr. Russell doing things in the community (inside and outside the NBA). Mr. Russell did not do things for recognition. For him, he often helped simply because it needed to be done.

Russell welcomed recognition but it wasn't the motivation

Most recently I was nominated by one of my peers to be considered for our college’s faculty of the year award. At first, I was not sure why I was nominated. To me, I do not do anything out of the ordinary. I seek to teach in a way that is engaging and provide ways for the course material to be applied outside the classroom. But, to some of my colleagues, I do more than that. While I recognize some see this as a big deal, I do it because it needs to be done. Whether I ever get publicly acknowledged again for my efforts, I am going to keep doing what I do, because that’s what needs to be done. And apparently, having a “cause it needed to be done philosophy” is contagious. I have had the privilege of seeing my children help others in various ways because it needed to be done. You never know who is watching you. You never know how your values might become values someone else embraces. Act wisely!

I hope more of us do things simply because they need to get done. There are cynical people who believe individuals doing good things because it is the right thing to do (and do it without recognition) is rare. I strongly disagree. There are plenty of people behind the scenes doing great things to make the world better with small and large humanitarian acts. Our challenges are to stop waiting to see behaviors in someone else and to stop waiting for someone to broadcast an individual’s acts of service. We should start looking at ourselves and figure out what is holding us from filling a need when no one is watching or cheering us on. You see a need, be a solution to the need. Why? Because it needs to be done!

Be well!
Elgrie J. Hurd III
-2022-2023 Dallas College’s Minnie Stevens Piper Excellence in Teaching Award Nominee

No Disrespect

 June 30, 2022

 

So, this is a bitter-sweet blog post. I have enjoyed watching “Naomi” on the CW. For my daughter and I it has been our daddy-daughter time. It is part of our casual date. I buy her lunch, or when she’s feeling fancy, she buys me lunch and we hop on the couch and squeeze 1-2 episodes before everyone else gets home. That’s coming to an end. The CW (or whoever is making decisions on which shows get more episodes) decided to axe the show after one season. I’m definitely in my feelings about this decision. The main character is a Black teenager who is smart, popular, rides a skateboard, and loves comic books. This sounds like my daughter (minus the skateboard part). There are not a lot of shows out there with a teenage Black girl as the main character, not tied to any negative stereotypes. (If anyone knows the people who canceled the show, tell them I would at least like to get a meet and greet between Kaci Walfall and my daughter.)

 

One phrase that is always used on the show by Naomi is "no disrespect." From Naomi's point of view, she wants to do 2 things with using this phrase: First, she wants the person to understand her intention…no disrespect. Second, she wants to get her point across. Often in the storylines of the show, the adults continuously tried to deny what she knew. They weren't giving her the credit she deserved. So, while they may have been attempting to be low-key disrespectful to her, she was not attempting to do the same. Like Naomi, I got a few things to get off my chest. My hope is that they are received with no disrespect. 


In my effort to value my voice, I am embracing some things that need to be said for it to manifest. May I have your attention please! Bottom line: I want others to stop stealing my stuff! I want those who say they value what I share in conversations/in the industry to (please) gimme my credit! Gimme me my pay! I want individuals/organizations to stop holding back my royalties. (OK, royalties might be a strong word to use; that's probably a hyperbole.) A one-time payment for a tool/strategy/lesson that is frequently used by an organization that claims to be about DEI (diversity, equity, and inclusion) is gonna be a problem for me. Let's #DoBetter …Denying me credit only adds to my barriers of recognition in my industry. It denies me opportunities in the future. And I’m not OK with this in my future.

Please stop pretending my voice gets the same opportunity. History shows the rules keep changing! Making laws to restore justice didn't end unfair and unjust practiced ideologies. The reality is to get to the finish line I'm not only carrying my own weight, but the shackles of the burdens and expectations I didn't ask for. I have to know what everyone knows. I also have to know what is invisible to people who don't look like me…the color-blind system that sees color until it doesn’t. I wanna finish at the top; I wanna celebrate. But we aren’t there yet, so let's add equity to the equation ASAP!

It's time to end the excuses and get it right! Can I get my recognition? Can we acknowledge the barriers I overcome are not universal? I know the answers to both of these questions is yes. Yet, despite the systemic and systematic roadblocks I am gonna find a way into the victor's seat. And just know, when I finally get a chance to sit in it, I am not volunteering to give it up. And those who want me out of the chair, they will be welcomed to try…No disrespect! ✊🏾

 

Be well!
-Elgrie J. Hurd, III

Do Better

 

May 25, 2022

"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” – Dr. Maya Angelou

On May 24, 2006, my life was turned upside down. I was in prepping myself to be celebrated by my family at San José State University's football stadium to receive my master's in Sociology. I was beginning my journey to be a middle school teacher in the school district serving my hometown…I was still fighting legal problems from an incident I had with law enforcement back in November 2005. But none of that mattered by the afternoon. On May 24, 2006, I learned my wife was pregnant; I was gonna be a father!

As a parent, I've embraced the idea of doing better for my kids. I have also learned just because you do your part as a parent, does not mean it is enough for your kids. For the last couple of years some of my children experienced bullying. For one of my children, the bullying never let up. Our attempts to get the school and school district to resolve the on-going bullying issues were unsuccessful. As a parent, I feel like the educational system I trusted to keep my child safe failed to do so. Rather than addressing the problems with the bullies, there was a lot of blaming my child (the survivor). The benefit of the doubt seemed to be given to bullies, even with clear evidence to suggest otherwise. Rather than investigating how to fix the school/district anti-bullying strategies that failed my child, my wife and I experienced finger-pointing to suggest we did not do enough. The message was made clear for us: The expectation for parents and survivors of bullying is to just accept the lack of accountability, the lack of urgency. I want the school and district to do better because my kid deserves a chance to go to school without being bullied.

May 24th has a new memory for me…Bullying by way of murder. Not even near the end of a school year and our children are not safe at school from domestic terrorism. In the state I call home, 19 children and 2 adults were murdered with less than a week left in the school year. This massacre brought the amount school shootings in the United States to 27 (and we aren't even in June😔)! We keep asking school staff and students to accept school shootings as normal. We keep asking school districts to accept the idea that schools should just focus on the symptoms of school shootings, but not provide them with tools to address the source of the problems. How is it we can make efforts to protect other countries, yet so little is done to keep our schools safe? Other countries have figured it out. Maybe if those who make up policies and provide funding to schools had to work in schools, then things might be different. Maybe they would be motivated to do better!

 I worked in schools. I taught middle school and high school at public schools. And even though I don't teach middle school or high school anymore, I'm still a teacher. I may not teach for high schools, but I do get the privilege to teach dual credit classes for the community college district that employs me. (FYI: Dual credit classes are college courses offered to high school students that allow them to get class credit for high school and college simultaneously.) This past semester I taught all my face-to-face classes at a high school. Unfortunately, there were moments when the school was in lockdown. And in those moments, I wondered if I was going to make it home. I wondered if all the students were going to get the chance to return to their homes. Those thoughts are sobering and scary. This shouldn’t be a reality. We MUST do better!

I’m down to help close the gaps of learning between high school and college. I’m down to use culturally responsive teaching strategies to help my students see the connection of what I teach to their reality. But asking me to take arms in the classroom or treat students as potential enemies?! Not me! I can't do that! There’s not even evidence to support this as an effective means of saving lives. Let’s do better! Justifying why assault rifles can be purchased with ease?! Not me! How long must we remain reactive at the loss of lives?! You want me to pretend other countries are struggling with this school shooting issue at the level it occurs in the United States?! Not me! Not me! Not me! Find someone else! Do better!

Condolences don't bring dead people back to life. Condolences alone do not fix problematic policies. The school shooting at Columbine High School happened in 1999 and yet we are not any closer to solutions for schools to be safe. Too many people who have been elected and are more concerned with their egos, than the lives of their constituents. Too many of us are constituents who do not hold those we elected accountable. Too many of us are constituents who are unwilling to hold ourselves accountable on how our inaction has aided deadly action of others in our schools. Schools' staff and students should not be used as trial-and-error band-aid solutions. School staff deserve better! Our students deserve better! Let’s do better!

 

Frustrated and concerned,
Professor Elgrie J. Hurd, III
- Professor of Psychology and Sociology

Whatever It Takes

 

March 29, 2022

Marvel Studios set the entertainment world on fire with Avengers: Infinity War (2018). But that was only the beginning of a two-part ending. In Avengers: End Game (2019) the remaining Avengers committed to righting the wrong of an infamous villain. Before they begin this dangerous, borderline suicide mission, Captain America tells them all what is at stake. Captain America says, “This is the fight of our lives. And we’re gonna win! Whatever it takes!” I have seen End Game (2019) at least 50 times, and that scene never gets old. It still makes me want to attempt to join the Avengers to defeat Thanos and save the universe!

It is an honor to serve my kids.

I may not be able to save the universe, but I can get the opportunity to do one of the next best things: be an engaged father to my children. I love this privilege that has been given to me. I have 4 kids. So, sometimes the charge of being a daddy might appear to be taxing to outsiders looking in. During the school year, 5 days a week we gotta be out the door before the sun is up. Between work and other required adulting activities, we have to support the travel to school, band practice, art class, swim, Tae Kwon Do practice, sewing class, track, cross-country, community service, and Bible study. For the Hurd 3rd Crew, the show never stops. And I’m grateful I get to serve my kids, daily. Some people ask, “How do you have the energy to push on?” “Don’t you ever wanna quit?” My answers are simple, but not simple. At times, I do wanna quit! I wanna quit more often than I want to admit. But I have the energy to push on for two reasons: First, my source is eternal. So, when I am weak, I lean on Him who is in me. Second, because it’s not about me! It’s about them. To be parent is something everyone is not gifted to be. This reality makes me unafraid to do whatever it takes (that’s ethical) to help my kids get their wins.

As a parent, I'm gonna do whatever it takes. In Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner (1967) the great Sidney Poitier is playing as Dr. John Prentice. In this role he had a very heated conversation with his on-screen father. It was suggested by the on-screen father that Dr. Prentice owed his father. Dr. Prentice responded by stating "If you carried that bag a million miles, you did what you were supposed to do. Because you brought me into this world. And from that day you owed me everything you could ever do for me…" My kids owe me nothing! I owe them everything, but my soul. I owe them to do my part to equip them so they can utilize their agency to confidently make their own decisions. To do this, I strive to model critical thinking and create an environment where they understand they have the power to do what they believe they can do.

Amid helping my kids get their wins, I am still working for my own. I have heard some people tell me that you cannot be a great parent and go for your dreams. I don’t accept this either-or reality. If these individuals are of the Christian faith, they may also suggest you cannot know Jesus and have fun. I reject this as well! (I have found lots of fun in Jesus!) I can seek to be a great parent and push for my dreams. Over the last 4 years I have been doing just that. In 2018, I quit my job and took on the unthinkable…I became a full-time adjunct instructor at various colleges/universities to increase my odds to become a full-time faculty member at a community college. On this journey, my kids have not gotten less of me. In fact, they have had more time with me than ever before. In less than a year, my dream became a reality. For me, my dreams included my kids. And as I continue to build on my dreams, my kids will continue to be included.

When she wins, I win!

The idea of blogging started because of my daughter. It started because I met a phenomenal young woman who created a platform for girls and women around the world to find support and empowerment. That phenomenal woman made the time to listen to my questions about how to best support my daughter who has dreams that are tall enough to reach the sky. That phenomenal woman, Tiffany Pham, thought my voice was worthy enough to be an influencer on her platform. I will never forget that. My daughter wants to turn the fashion world upside down. I am here for it! I know eventually she will do it. While we wait for that day, I am willing to drive her/fly/finance her to get it done. I’ll do all of that and more cheering all along the way. Whatever it takes on my end to help her get there, please believe I’m all in until she gets the victory!

A Proud and Privileged Dad,
- Professor Elgrie J. Hurd, III

The Worst They Can Say…

 

January 29, 2022

“You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.” - Wayne Gretzky

So many people often push for new year's resolutions. Unless we get the perfect conditions for our resolutions, our resolutions simply remain as wishful thoughts. We do not have to throw in the towel. We have options! My friend/adopted sister, Karla, gave me insight to this years ago. Unfortunately, it took me some time to realize what worked for her could work for me.

Karla went to college and majored in social work. And when she started her professional work, much of her roles were in the education and non-profit sectors. Most of her positions she loved. Most of her positions she was a rock star. Often, the organizations she worked for did not pay her what she was worth. At times, this created a gap between the things she needed/wanted to thrive personally and professionally. But that did not discourage her. Karla understood the power of not being afraid to ask others. Her rationale about asking people was the worst they can say is no. Transportation, entertainment, and even supplies for work were gifted to her because she focused on the best outcome rather than the worse.

Don't assume the answer is NO!

Too often we focus on the negative; we focus on the worst-case scenario when determining if we should consider taking any action. When we do this, we cripple ourselves from opportunities before we even get started. College applicants do this. They do not even apply to a college/university because they figure they have not shot to get in. Wayne Gretzky said, “You miss 100% of the shots you never take.” The worst thing they can say is no. They could also say yes if you take your shot! Embrace positive psychology!

Positive psychology focuses on the aspects of the human experience that help us thrive and accomplish things. Karla may not have explicitly called her efforts positive psychology; her intentions were all the same. In 2018 I wanted to thrive as an educator. I wanted to use more of my talents to create a greater impact. And I knew worrying about the noes I might get did not matter compared to the impact of getting a yes as the response to my inquiries. I reached out to colleges throughout the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex to inquire about opportunities to teach. I asked where I was teaching adjunct and asked to teach more classes. They said yes. I then reached out to a place I had considered attending nearly a decade earlier. They remembered my encounter with them. We met and I discussed my teaching philosophy and my teaching experiences. They said yes, too. One yes paved the way for more people to say yes. On my way to becoming a full-time adjunct faculty there were some nos. I did not think too much for it, because I knew it fostered another opportunity for someone to say yes. Fall 2019 I became a full-time professor of psychology and sociology at a community college because I knew there were more responses that ended in a yes than in a no. I just needed to identify the right opportunities. 

Don't be afraid of the worst. Be prepared the best of  2022...2022 doesn't have to be perfect for success. Say yes to new possibilities! What’s the worst that can happen?!

Be positive!

 Be well!
- Elgrie J.

 

 

Just Pause

 

November 26, 2021

"Drive slow homie!" - The artist formerly known as Kanye West

 

The pandemic has put a lot of our lives on pause. It has sent many of us in two directions. One direction is to re-evaluate our lives and make meaningful changes. The other direction some of us have tried to cling to is to operate like nothing has changed. I am guilty of this, and it has proven to not work. It hasn't worked because things aren't the same. I'm in grad school (again 🙄), teaching face-to-face and online in a pandemic, husband duties, daddy duties, and community obligations. To adjust I took a quasi-break from social media. I didn't post online. I didn't read a whole lot on social media. And to my surprise I didn't miss much. It was a good pause from things.

 

It's OK to pause from things in your
life to get right

That good pause wasn't enough! My pause needed to be more than on social media...I gotta be OK saying no...I gotta be OK focusing on me...focusing on what matters. When I applied to DBU's Ph.D. in Leadership Studies I wrote how I was willing to remove myself from fellowships and not take on a bunch of new obligations. I gotta confess, it is easier said than done. Most of my life I've wrapped my mind around being an overachiever. But, the COVID pandemic became part of my reality, and my mentality of achieving A's in all aspects of my life was now a problem. When your obligations exceed your bandwidth to maintain your overachiever mentality what do you do? You change for success or fail in stagnation. I realized I had to reflect on the lessons of my ancestors and elders for my next steps.

 

I am a descendant of people who did so much with so little. For my ancestors and elders the odds have never been in their favor in the United States. To be Black in the United States is a great paradox. The institutions are made to exclude those who are bequeathed Black bodies. Yet, the will of those in Black bodies combined with some Divine intervention made the impossible possible. So, I gotta do my part. This includes setting better boundaries and adhering to them. It also means when I've done my part to move out the way and let God do the rest. I gotta make room in my circumstances to let God do His Thing. I'm learning to attempt to control less, so He can control more.

 

I'm embracing pressing pause on the things that don't matter in the grand scheme of things. It's a work in progress I cannot neglect. The negative consequences are too severe. Now I understand when you pause from the distractions, you un-pause living! I plan to live in a more meaningful way. That's my plan. What about you?!

Be well!

-       Elgrie J

Run it Back!

 June 30, 2021

I’ll never forget December 6, 2019. That was the date on the letter from the university where I was working on my dissertation (virtually). That was when I learned my dissertation chair had given up on me. My university had given up on me. The letter informed me that I was no longer allowed to continue with my doctoral studies. For nearly 6 months I fought the decision. I made phone calls, I sent emails, I submitted appeals. No matter the efforts, the results were the same: my doctoral journey was over. And that fact weighed heavy on me.

Academic failure was not something I had experienced before...not like this. I had to weigh the
consequences of how I wanted to proceed. I already knew that in some Ph.D. programs, over 66% of the students do not finish. As a matter of fact, less than 2% of the 332 million people in the USA have a Ph.D. But what I did not realize was how much I didn't know. I did not know it mattered that your dissertation chair needed to be your biggest fan at the university, or how much power a dissertation chair had on making or breaking your success. I underestimated the red flags encouraging me to find a new program long before my demise came. I let my pride lead my decision to keep pushing even when I felt I was alone in my fight to finish my dissertation. I always tell my kids Hurds don’t quit! And while it can be a great mantra, it can also be a blinder to facilitate an unnecessary loss. For me, it became the latter.

I’m grateful for the persistence I developed
playing hoops with my big brother.

I don't like losing. That desire not to lose started at an early age. In basketball I would lose to my big brother...again, again, and again. I would keep telling him to run it back. I wanted a redo until I won. I didn't always win. But when I did, it was enough to handle the losses...But when people tried to suggest to me to run it back as it related to trying again to get a Ph.D., it was a no-go. I was done! I didn't want to be a number…I didn’t want to be a cash cow for another university. I didn't want to do all the work again with no assurance I was going to have different results. It all boiled down to the fact that I was not sure if I was good enough. I gave my all. I gave up so much and had nothing to show. (To be fair, I walked away with my second master’s. I know for some that’s a victory. But to be nearly two chapters into a dissertation, it was hard to see and accept that victory).

A year after #ProjectDissertation came to an end, thoughts of wanting to finish what I started resurfaced. It also left me in a quandary: With a Ph.D. or without a Ph.D. I can teach at community colleges (my career original goal), so why try again? I got slammed with a lot of different perspectives to that inquiry. A mentor encouraged me not to be overcome by imposter syndrome. My past failures do not determine my potential future success. A friend said, “It's not about you!” He reminded me of some of my reasons that got me started to attempt a Ph.D. program in the first place...I wanted to increase access, so more voices could be heard. I wanted to help coach the leadership of organizations up or help those in leadership roles transition out. My wife was the nail in the coffin. She helped me acknowledge that maybe this was all part of God’s Purpose for my life. Maybe I got it wrong. Maybe I had to lose to get it right. In the end they were ALL right.

 My first day in my journey as part of Cohort XVII

Eventually I stopped moping around and started moving on. After a lot of research, I chose Dallas Baptist University (DBU). I chose DBU because it is different (and better) than my previous university. I found a better support system within the university. A university whose priority is a belief I can actually finish what I started. DBU offered me administrators, a department chair, full-time faculty, a cohort of peers, and alumni who are fully committed. Last, but not least, DBU is a place where I do not need to explain the urgency of my research focusing on Jesus and leadership of Protestant churches. I did not know how much all those things mattered for my success, but they do!

I don't know how this story ends, but I'm gonna run this back! Win or lose...I'm ready to give God (The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit) the glory for the opportunity. I'm all but done! I hope those reading this will find ways to support my efforts. For those who join me, together we WILL run it back!

 

Elgrie J. Hurd, III
- Doctoral Student, Leadership Studies Program,
Gary Cook School of Leadership, Dallas Baptist University

The Cost of Change

May 7, 2021

 "Use it!" – Blade: Trinity (2004)

The first week of May is Teacher Appreciation Week in the United States of America. This year, many parents/guardians showed up and showed out in their appreciation of teachers. Teachers and schools’ staff are finally starting to be recognized. For many teachers, not even a pandemic or lack of support stopped them from creating space for students to learn. So, where do we go from here? When the good feelings about teachers begin to wane, and the gratitude turns into expectations of what should be, what then? Is that real change? No! It costs more!

Phrases like social justice and real/meaningful change have become buzz words in a new effort to restore humanity to the human experience (for all). But words alone are not enough. That means creating a social media platform to raise awareness isn't enough...sharing a news story isn't enough...Blogging isn't enough. These can all be good starts, but we gotta find a way to do more. Too often we compare our baby steps towards change to those who do nothing at all. This allows us to suggest to ourselves that we are doing something on a gargantuan scale. (I can say I am guilty of this behavior). In these moments we naively misunderstand the cost of change in its entirety. In these same moments we can foolishly think we cannot be part of the problem because we did something to fight against the status quo of oppressing other humans. Au contraire! Change is not simple; it is more complex. We gotta go beyond words. We gotta live it out.

Jellyfish syndrome is the concept of people having good intentions but do more harm in their actions than good. Whether is one is woke, naïve, or in denial, we all can create additional problems in our efforts to end problems. Hence, that doesn't mean you can only be part of the problem or part of the solution...you can be both! We must be careful not to mix up barriers to change with the cost of change. We need to know the difference. We need to be real about the cost of change. Change doesn't come free. You gotta be willing to educate yourself. You have to be willing to acknowledge the problems that are there and the role(s) you play towards those problems. If we don't name the problems that block change, we cannot be held accountable for our parts that contribute to the problems. So, while the United States is trying to move past the pandemic, our educational system is stuck. It’s stuck because as a nation we did not fix what was already broken, and we have not addressed the new problems in education that have manifested.

To fix any societal ills (education or otherwise), we all gotta sacrifice. We all must lose something that matters to us! We all gotta be willing to be inconvenienced consistently! Consistently, we must be willing to correct our behavior. We must hold people in our sphere of influence accountable, consistently. We ALL must sacrifice our time to invest in something greater than ourselves. In 2021, this is STILL not embraced by the collective. And that’s one reason real change for the better is continuously NOT happening in education. It can’t just be some of us. It has to be ALL of us!

I'm not a weightlifter, but I have heard you need pain to get the muscle gain you desire. Muscles grow by muscles being broken. Once they are broken, they can be repaired stronger than they were. I do know a little about distance running. All distance runners endure some type of pain to reach success. The Olympic and competitive marathon runners are no different. The fastest distance runners perfectly mix discipline and endurance of pain better than any other runners. They understand the cost of winning is pain, so they pay the price. To make education better is not a pain-free process. Pain is part of price of change. It's important to make sure the burden of that pain is not just for a few. When this happens, change is likely to be temporary. Education in the United States (and throughout the world) needs meaningful, helpful, and empowering change that will last!

Change cost; choose wisely. Good change is painful, but it's worth it! Sometimes the payoff comes quickly...many times the payoff is slow to generate. Don't be discouraged, be patient. It's coming! So, who's ready to mix their endurance and pain to win the race of change?! Our students of the present (and future) are depending on you! 

-Professor H.

The Paradox of my Black Body

April 14, 2021 

My heart is heavy! I feel like it's always heavy. A lot more pain has occurred since last year with little to no progress. I'm discouraged, but I'm not hopeless. I have resilience in my DNA, so I'm not done fighting for change. I'm still here! My body is ready...my mind is not. My mind is caught in a time loop. This loop is a problem.

I was reminded of the importance of addressing the times I get in a stuck mindset when I watched Two Distant Strangers (2020). The film reminded me...

    ●  If I follow directions, I'm in danger!!!

    ●  If I do not follow directions, I'm in danger!!!

    ●  The existence in my skin...my melanin…my Black body's existence makes me dangerous. My existence puts me in danger of not getting home to my wife and kids.

 

The existence of my body shoves me to live in a state of "what if trauma?" There's no formula to ensure

my safety...no formula to ensure I'll return to my family. I'm being asked to trust a system that emotionally feels like I'm playing Russian Roulette every time I engage the system. I have to defy my biology. Reject it!!! My fight-or-flight system is ready to flee. Fighting gets me death...flight is death. Yet, there is no training to equip me for the alternative. No lifeline to rescue me. Sometimes I feel like all I have is just hope in some what-ifs…

    ●     What if my body is humanized?

    ●     What if my skin is legitimized as mattering?

    ●     What if I don't have to get to my family by any means necessary?

My body is a threat even to people who look like me. So where does that leave me? Until collectively my skin is validated...until my body is not perceived as a threat...until ending my life as a solution to the existence of my Black body is no longer an option...don't tell me it will be OK...please don't attempt to de-escalate my trauma by telling me we will get there eventually. The reality is my Black body might not get to the destination of being humanized until all life is removed from my Black body...that's a trauma mere words and hope cannot heal.

 

A Black body seeking humanized recognition,
- Professor Elgrie J. Hurd, III

My PSA for DEI

February 28, 2021

For some, Black History Month comes to an end on February 28th (February 29th on leap year). And for some it's the end of the efforts to embrace diversity. Some expect a pat on the back for doing the right thing. Some even expect a free pass for future wrongdoings because they partied on the diversity bandwagon. I have been doing work tied to diversity for nearly 20 years. For the last 3 years I have had the privilege to teach psychology, sociology, counseling, and leadership classes in the capacity of a full-time professor. Every time I teach, I intentionally seek to imbed diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) concepts in my classes because it matters...I'm not here for the applause; I'm here to work because it needs to be done. I'm here to do the work because I can!

I'm here to help make DEI a tangible reality. I'll lead, organize, and educate. When I am hired in the various capacities centered around DEI, there are some important things to keep in mind…

○     #1) Hiring me doesn't should not end an organization's efforts of diversity, equity, and inclusion.

○     #2) I do not know everything regarding DEI, nor am I required to.

○     #3) Diversity and inclusion is NOT about being politically correct. It IS about empathy and recognizing humanity in everyone.

Think bigger when it comes to DEI

The burden of DEI is something for all of us to do. Participation in DEI is not like passing your driver's license test or getting a degree from a college/university...it's not a one-time thing. To do it right requires a lifetime commitment. It requires doing work AND being accountable. Being accountable AND having empathy. It requires you to not accept the mindset of jellyfish syndrome. (Jellyfish syndrome is a mindset of having good intentions but doing more harm than good.) This blog does not serve as your education on DEI issues. This is a public service announcement.

Each of us has to accept we can be part of the problem and part of the solution at the exact same time. Each of us needs to seek to offer more effort to the solution rather than the problem. Accountability matters. And being an ally is a step in the right direction, but it's not the end-all-be-all. It is part of the lifetime journey to empower the voices and stories that have been systemically AND systematically denied.

#AlliesWanted in this fight. Will you join the fight?

In Solidarity,
Professor Elgrie J. Hurd, III