No Disrespect

 June 30, 2022

 

So, this is a bitter-sweet blog post. I have enjoyed watching “Naomi” on the CW. For my daughter and I it has been our daddy-daughter time. It is part of our casual date. I buy her lunch, or when she’s feeling fancy, she buys me lunch and we hop on the couch and squeeze 1-2 episodes before everyone else gets home. That’s coming to an end. The CW (or whoever is making decisions on which shows get more episodes) decided to axe the show after one season. I’m definitely in my feelings about this decision. The main character is a Black teenager who is smart, popular, rides a skateboard, and loves comic books. This sounds like my daughter (minus the skateboard part). There are not a lot of shows out there with a teenage Black girl as the main character, not tied to any negative stereotypes. (If anyone knows the people who canceled the show, tell them I would at least like to get a meet and greet between Kaci Walfall and my daughter.)

 

One phrase that is always used on the show by Naomi is "no disrespect." From Naomi's point of view, she wants to do 2 things with using this phrase: First, she wants the person to understand her intention…no disrespect. Second, she wants to get her point across. Often in the storylines of the show, the adults continuously tried to deny what she knew. They weren't giving her the credit she deserved. So, while they may have been attempting to be low-key disrespectful to her, she was not attempting to do the same. Like Naomi, I got a few things to get off my chest. My hope is that they are received with no disrespect. 


In my effort to value my voice, I am embracing some things that need to be said for it to manifest. May I have your attention please! Bottom line: I want others to stop stealing my stuff! I want those who say they value what I share in conversations/in the industry to (please) gimme my credit! Gimme me my pay! I want individuals/organizations to stop holding back my royalties. (OK, royalties might be a strong word to use; that's probably a hyperbole.) A one-time payment for a tool/strategy/lesson that is frequently used by an organization that claims to be about DEI (diversity, equity, and inclusion) is gonna be a problem for me. Let's #DoBetter …Denying me credit only adds to my barriers of recognition in my industry. It denies me opportunities in the future. And I’m not OK with this in my future.

Please stop pretending my voice gets the same opportunity. History shows the rules keep changing! Making laws to restore justice didn't end unfair and unjust practiced ideologies. The reality is to get to the finish line I'm not only carrying my own weight, but the shackles of the burdens and expectations I didn't ask for. I have to know what everyone knows. I also have to know what is invisible to people who don't look like me…the color-blind system that sees color until it doesn’t. I wanna finish at the top; I wanna celebrate. But we aren’t there yet, so let's add equity to the equation ASAP!

It's time to end the excuses and get it right! Can I get my recognition? Can we acknowledge the barriers I overcome are not universal? I know the answers to both of these questions is yes. Yet, despite the systemic and systematic roadblocks I am gonna find a way into the victor's seat. And just know, when I finally get a chance to sit in it, I am not volunteering to give it up. And those who want me out of the chair, they will be welcomed to try…No disrespect! ✊🏾

 

Be well!
-Elgrie J. Hurd, III

Free to Pushback, Free to Question

Dedicated to those who claim/want to be allies to Blacks

June 19, 2020

In 2020, part of the world decided to give a damn about Black people in the United States. Yet, more people outside the USA care than in the USA. 2020 became a viral reminder to non-Blacks that my body is still a threat; my wife's body is a threat; my children's bodies are threats. We threaten the perception of the inhumanity assigned to our bodies. And while some cringe at the words, it does not make it any less true. The inhumanity assigned to our Black bodies is caused by a white supremacy curtain that is continuously ignored.

What should come next? Everyone has a strategy. Some ideas seem realistic; some are so over the top I see them as purely entertainment for my imagination. Proven allies and potential allies have been asking for the input of Black people in the U.S. For me, I am at a point where to be effective in what I do, I have to pushback. To keep my mental health where it needs to be, I need to be able to question my allies.

Do you have jellyfish syndrome ally traits? I’m numb to self-perceived allies giving historical and contemporary excuses. I'm not looking for justification; I'm looking for you to step up!!! Yes it's that serious! (It’s always been that serious!) Convenient allies are a problem! If this is you, then you're the problem! Long before there was a term to coin your actions and inactions, you were a problem. When the times get tough, historically why have you hidden? To be clear, I don't want your sadness. Nor do I want your oppressor-group tears because comforting your guilt to drown in my sea of trauma is NOT an option. Jellyfish syndrome ally is your name!!! Good intentions from afar, but your ally behavior is deadly up close, and you don't even know it!

So, I am free to say I don't believe you...I don't trust you. It is gonna take more than some protests or social media posts to woo me. I am free to question your commitment and your integrity. An apology on being tone-deaf does not get you instant access to my heart. I still have more questions. I ask this question: Why now? What's so different about the Spring of 2020 that has caused you to act? White supremacy was real in 1985...it was real in 1992...it was real in 2005, 2006, and 2009...It has never stopped! The evidence of white supremacy has never stopped. And my body has never stopped being in danger or being perceived as a danger. How can I accept apologies without individuals owning the contributions to a system that hates my humanity? Your awareness may be new; the threat to my humanity is not!

When it is all said and done, I'm free to change my mind on how I feel about allies and those who want to be allies. Until then, please don't take it personal. For me, my life is more valuable than your feelings. You are free to pushback; you are free to question. And I am free to do the same!

Unapologetically Black and Proud,

Elgrie J. Hurd III