Free to Pushback, Free to Question

Dedicated to those who claim/want to be allies to Blacks

June 19, 2020

In 2020, part of the world decided to give a damn about Black people in the United States. Yet, more people outside the USA care than in the USA. 2020 became a viral reminder to non-Blacks that my body is still a threat; my wife's body is a threat; my children's bodies are threats. We threaten the perception of the inhumanity assigned to our bodies. And while some cringe at the words, it does not make it any less true. The inhumanity assigned to our Black bodies is caused by a white supremacy curtain that is continuously ignored.

What should come next? Everyone has a strategy. Some ideas seem realistic; some are so over the top I see them as purely entertainment for my imagination. Proven allies and potential allies have been asking for the input of Black people in the U.S. For me, I am at a point where to be effective in what I do, I have to pushback. To keep my mental health where it needs to be, I need to be able to question my allies.

Do you have jellyfish syndrome ally traits? I’m numb to self-perceived allies giving historical and contemporary excuses. I'm not looking for justification; I'm looking for you to step up!!! Yes it's that serious! (It’s always been that serious!) Convenient allies are a problem! If this is you, then you're the problem! Long before there was a term to coin your actions and inactions, you were a problem. When the times get tough, historically why have you hidden? To be clear, I don't want your sadness. Nor do I want your oppressor-group tears because comforting your guilt to drown in my sea of trauma is NOT an option. Jellyfish syndrome ally is your name!!! Good intentions from afar, but your ally behavior is deadly up close, and you don't even know it!

So, I am free to say I don't believe you...I don't trust you. It is gonna take more than some protests or social media posts to woo me. I am free to question your commitment and your integrity. An apology on being tone-deaf does not get you instant access to my heart. I still have more questions. I ask this question: Why now? What's so different about the Spring of 2020 that has caused you to act? White supremacy was real in 1985...it was real in 1992...it was real in 2005, 2006, and 2009...It has never stopped! The evidence of white supremacy has never stopped. And my body has never stopped being in danger or being perceived as a danger. How can I accept apologies without individuals owning the contributions to a system that hates my humanity? Your awareness may be new; the threat to my humanity is not!

When it is all said and done, I'm free to change my mind on how I feel about allies and those who want to be allies. Until then, please don't take it personal. For me, my life is more valuable than your feelings. You are free to pushback; you are free to question. And I am free to do the same!

Unapologetically Black and Proud,

Elgrie J. Hurd III