The Paradox of my Black Body

April 14, 2021 

My heart is heavy! I feel like it's always heavy. A lot more pain has occurred since last year with little to no progress. I'm discouraged, but I'm not hopeless. I have resilience in my DNA, so I'm not done fighting for change. I'm still here! My body is ready...my mind is not. My mind is caught in a time loop. This loop is a problem.

I was reminded of the importance of addressing the times I get in a stuck mindset when I watched Two Distant Strangers (2020). The film reminded me...

    ●  If I follow directions, I'm in danger!!!

    ●  If I do not follow directions, I'm in danger!!!

    ●  The existence in my skin...my melanin…my Black body's existence makes me dangerous. My existence puts me in danger of not getting home to my wife and kids.

 

The existence of my body shoves me to live in a state of "what if trauma?" There's no formula to ensure

my safety...no formula to ensure I'll return to my family. I'm being asked to trust a system that emotionally feels like I'm playing Russian Roulette every time I engage the system. I have to defy my biology. Reject it!!! My fight-or-flight system is ready to flee. Fighting gets me death...flight is death. Yet, there is no training to equip me for the alternative. No lifeline to rescue me. Sometimes I feel like all I have is just hope in some what-ifs…

    ●     What if my body is humanized?

    ●     What if my skin is legitimized as mattering?

    ●     What if I don't have to get to my family by any means necessary?

My body is a threat even to people who look like me. So where does that leave me? Until collectively my skin is validated...until my body is not perceived as a threat...until ending my life as a solution to the existence of my Black body is no longer an option...don't tell me it will be OK...please don't attempt to de-escalate my trauma by telling me we will get there eventually. The reality is my Black body might not get to the destination of being humanized until all life is removed from my Black body...that's a trauma mere words and hope cannot heal.

 

A Black body seeking humanized recognition,
- Professor Elgrie J. Hurd, III

Year 2020 Doesn't get the Victory

 

December 23, 2020

This year has been hard for so many reasons. Some of the reasons include...

●     COVID-19 and the pandemic attached to it. Too many love ones died, and too many survivors of COVID-19 were/are undertreated and underserved

●     Hate crimes against Blacks and in the United States gone viral

●     Hate crimes against ethnic/racial minorities and the Queer community at an all-time high in the United States

●     Thousands people out of jobs

●     Students struggling in an overwhelming digital learning environment

●     Leaders focused on themselves instead of the people they serve

In spite of all of the chaos and heartache, we are still here. We are the heart and backbone of the United States of America; we are the underdogs. The odds are stacked against us, yet we refuse to allow 2020 to get the best of us. We will NOT be the losers of 2020.

For many, our strength is revealed in times of crises. We have learned that there's more to us than meets the eye; there is power that we have yet to harness. This power flows through our ability to endure and invigorates our creativity. The fruits of this power are as follows: We have found new ways to serve others, combat debt, build equity, and fight for all of humanity.

All of those who have come before me are part of my inspiration. My elders, community leaders of the present and past, and my ancestors inspire me. They have given up so much in the hope I would have so much more. What a privilege and honor! And I recognize the source of those who inspire me to be strong and creative comes from my original source, Jesus Christ.

I alone am not enough to take on the toxicity of the world. And every day I am reminded I am not alone. On my wrist is a wristband that reads Philippians 4:13: I can do all things through Christ. I believe this with all my heart. I believe even in failures I am victorious. I am victorious because my setbacks don't mean the end...They are setups for the next chapter. The failures remind me the work is not done, because in the end Jesus WILL get the victory. The victory may not end to my liking, but it WILL end with a victory for the King of Kings!

The toxic economic, social, emotional, and spiritual attacks of 2020 will not get the victory in my life. They will not rule everything around me. I will reflect on my source, because with Him impossible is nothing! Find your victories! Celebrate them! Carry the victories into 2021, leaving 2020 in utter defeat.

 -       Elgrie J. Hurd III, Victor of Year
2020

We Haven't Arrived Yet

November 26, 2020

My Madam Vice President-Elect

In 2008 the United States of America (USA) got its first Black President. In 2020 the USA got its first Black Vice President. A Black woman is next in line to be President! I could see many making the argument that we (the USA) have transcended race and that gender roles are no longer barriers in this country. As much as I yearn for this reality, it is still just a dream.

Former President Barack Obama and Vice President-Elect Kamala Harris are not the norm for the Black experience in the United States, they are the exception. Madam Vice President-elect Kamala Harris is not the norm for the experience of women (especially Black women), she is the exception. I am excited about the possibilities of what these two milestones mean for the United States, People of Color and women. Yet, I struggle to celebrate. In my heart I know we have not arrived.

If we truly have arrived in 2020, things that should be norms would no longer be exceptions. For me, the following are not norms...

●     No longer having trepidations about my eldest son making it home safely

●     Not having others associate my success solely with affirmative action or charity, rather than being tied to hard work

A Chuck-full of peace with my Hurd 3rd Crew

●     My daughter constantly feeling beautiful outside our home and not be dehumanized because of her passion

●     Brothers and Sisters of different pigmentation and cultures to stop denying the intentional 
and systemic oppression of Blacks

●     My wife's passion expressed in her to not be seen as angry when she is not. (What she is often doing is gracefully attacking the false sense of supremacy tied to white fragility.) 

The elections of 2020 have shown us that the USA is still divided. We still have citizens who believe changes in laws mandate changes in the hearts of people. That's not how it works. We can make all the laws and execution orders. This only addresses part of the problem. Heart issues defy logic. Heart issues require an embracing of the truth for lasting change. The humanitarian and attorney Bryan Stevenson spoke about the United States having a racial bias legacy. He said, “We haven't really talked much about the legacy of racial bias...I don’t think we can be free...until we address this problem. But to get there, we’re going to have to be willing to tell the truth.” We cannot arrive as a country until we deal with the truth. Ignoring the truth keeps exceptions as exceptions, and stops the expansion of norms we all deserve to experience.

2021 is coming soon. We can hit the reset button, or make 2021 a new version of 2020. I say, "Do better!" Deal with the truths of our country...the good, the bad, and the ugly. That is how we do better! Are you ready?!

-       Elgrie J./Prof. H.

Free to Pushback, Free to Question

Dedicated to those who claim/want to be allies to Blacks

June 19, 2020

In 2020, part of the world decided to give a damn about Black people in the United States. Yet, more people outside the USA care than in the USA. 2020 became a viral reminder to non-Blacks that my body is still a threat; my wife's body is a threat; my children's bodies are threats. We threaten the perception of the inhumanity assigned to our bodies. And while some cringe at the words, it does not make it any less true. The inhumanity assigned to our Black bodies is caused by a white supremacy curtain that is continuously ignored.

What should come next? Everyone has a strategy. Some ideas seem realistic; some are so over the top I see them as purely entertainment for my imagination. Proven allies and potential allies have been asking for the input of Black people in the U.S. For me, I am at a point where to be effective in what I do, I have to pushback. To keep my mental health where it needs to be, I need to be able to question my allies.

Do you have jellyfish syndrome ally traits? I’m numb to self-perceived allies giving historical and contemporary excuses. I'm not looking for justification; I'm looking for you to step up!!! Yes it's that serious! (It’s always been that serious!) Convenient allies are a problem! If this is you, then you're the problem! Long before there was a term to coin your actions and inactions, you were a problem. When the times get tough, historically why have you hidden? To be clear, I don't want your sadness. Nor do I want your oppressor-group tears because comforting your guilt to drown in my sea of trauma is NOT an option. Jellyfish syndrome ally is your name!!! Good intentions from afar, but your ally behavior is deadly up close, and you don't even know it!

So, I am free to say I don't believe you...I don't trust you. It is gonna take more than some protests or social media posts to woo me. I am free to question your commitment and your integrity. An apology on being tone-deaf does not get you instant access to my heart. I still have more questions. I ask this question: Why now? What's so different about the Spring of 2020 that has caused you to act? White supremacy was real in 1985...it was real in 1992...it was real in 2005, 2006, and 2009...It has never stopped! The evidence of white supremacy has never stopped. And my body has never stopped being in danger or being perceived as a danger. How can I accept apologies without individuals owning the contributions to a system that hates my humanity? Your awareness may be new; the threat to my humanity is not!

When it is all said and done, I'm free to change my mind on how I feel about allies and those who want to be allies. Until then, please don't take it personal. For me, my life is more valuable than your feelings. You are free to pushback; you are free to question. And I am free to do the same!

Unapologetically Black and Proud,

Elgrie J. Hurd III

It Shouldn't Matter

It Shouldn't Matter

February 28, 2020

Let me reintroduce myself...my name is Elgrie Jones Hurd III. I am a professor of psychology and sociology at a community college. This is not how I usually introduce myself. Yet, there are times I do choose to introduce myself this way because it allows me to be recognized...recognized as a human that requires respect.

Just a reminder...
I'm HELLA BLACK in February.
I got a shirt made to help people out!

February is Black History Month. It was designed as a reminder of how Black people in the United States (and the world) have contributed in a meaningful way. Somehow some misconceptions have happened along the way. One misconception is that Black History Month is only for Black people. Another misconception is that February is the only month to celebrate Black people. Black history is American history; Black history is world history. Recognizing Black people should be done every day of every month. And because Black people are often not recognized as humans, hashtags like #BlackLivesMatter are still relevant.

One of the reasons people use #BlackLivesMatter is because throughout the world, especially in the United States, if you identify (or are identified) as Black there is often a second-class/inhuman treatment that comes along with Blackness. The criminal justice system, the educational system, the entertainment system...any system that exists tends to belittle the worth of the Black experience. #BlackLivesMatter is about equity not equality. Equality means everyone has an equal opportunity. Equality assumes everyone starts off with the same resources (or starting point). We do not live in a world of equality. We do not all start off with the same resources. Equity seeks to create resources to close the gaps that prevent equality from becoming a reality. Hashtags like #AllLivesMatter and #BlueLivesMatter misses the point that #BlackLivesMatter seeks to be inclusive. Until #BlackLivesMatter, a concept #AllLivesMatter is a false statement. Our current state of affairs in the USA shows that Blacks do not matter. Therefore, all lives don’t matter!

Kelvin B. Givens IV,
 also known as "K4"

Earlier in February, the world lost Kelvin Givens, IV. He was a mentee of mine. Someone who was a participant in a workforce training program I used to work for. He died unexpectedly. He was barely 22. I went to the visitation service to pay my respect to his family and him. I even spoke to his family about the impact he had on me. So many people, from all walks of life came to speak of his awesomeness. They all spoke about how their lives were better by knowing him. He was not an inventor; he was not a celebrity; he was a Black man who shined in a way that benefited others. That is NOT why he mattered. He was also a son, a brother, a nephew, cousin, a grandson, and a friend. He existed!!! And that’s why he mattered.

Black History is every day!

Do you know Remi Berriola, Rahyem Hood, Laurine Miles, Romeo Young, Larry Mimms, Esau Johnson, Chandra Joy Shirley, Ida Lee Johnson, or Joan Williams???? I do...I bet if you are not Black, you know someone who identifies as Black. They don't have to be famous. Their existence alone is enough to matter. The only thing that should matter is that the individual is a person. But for this to become a reality, all of us must contribute to validating Black people from all walks of life…Black people with various viewpoints. I challenge every person who reads this to help Black lives matter. I challenge every person who reads this to make time to celebrate Black lives near you. Dr. Seuss wrote “[a] person is a person, no matter how small.” I would like to add to this quote. A person should matter no matter their skin tone; no matter how Black they are. #BlackLivesMatter #IAmCauseWeAe

- Professor Elgrie J. Hurd III, M.A., A.B.D.