Imprisonment of a Dream

 

May 31, 2025

Some people tell you to do everything you can to achieve your dream, no matter the costs. I can see why people would push that narrative. It’s about showing your commitment…it’s about your will to sacrifice for the prize. But I have a question: What’s the point if you lose the things that made the dream worth achieving, it really a dream worth holding onto?! I get the privilege to wear many titles. I am a husband, a father, an uncle, a brother, a son, a nephew, a cousin, and a devoted friend. I value the relationships that come with these titles. And if I have to lose them for a dream, then that may not be the dream for me.

Don't let your dream trap you!

Some people are so locked in their pursuits their dream, to achieve it the dream turns into a nightmare. It does not take much debating to suggest people who are incarcerated want to be free…what’s surprising is sometimes people who are free allow their dream to isolate them so much they lose their freedom. Don't let your dream become your nightmare. Don't have tunnel vision that blocks you from the improv necessary to keep your dream alive. Don't dismiss the lifelines to your dream that appear in unorthodox ways. To dream big often requires using tools and perspectives you couldn't imagine because you were dreaming too small!

On a 2025 The Pivot podcast episode featuring Anthony Mackie the conversation moved to the topic of individual success. Anthony Mackie talked about people who are successful are often chosen…it’s not just necessarily their skills. Another interview on The Pivot podcast, they interviewed the musician Jelly Roll. The lead host is a former NFL player. He said that he was not the most talented football player and a lot of people who were more talented but succumbed to the temptations of the world. If you do not succumb to the world and the world gets to see your talents, remember you are chosen. That means use your talents, don’t waste them. That also means, don’t be selfish with your talents. You get to unlock more of your dream when you find ways to help others discover and develop theirs.

See your incomplete dream differently!

Some of you all reading this cannot relate to the idea of your dream becoming a reality. All my dreams never came  true. And there’s a good chance some of my dreams will remain an eternal dream status. This does not mean you got it all wrong. Sometimes you choose life over dreams. Sometimes you choose a purpose that outshines your dream idea even on the cloudiest days. You gotta remember that   you don't need to be imprisoned by what your dream did   not become…celebrate aspects of your dream that were not deferred. Build on what has manifested into reality and   reclaim what was deferred on your terms! Relax! Take a deep breath! Don't worry…you got this!!!

Your Dream Fan,
Elgrie J. Hurd III

A Different Perspective

 January 29, 2024

 

To run well, mindset AND perspective matter!!!

Sometime in the recent past I traveled to Southern California…I decided to go for a run at the suggestion of a friend. In transparency I wasn't motivated to run. Every trip I go I pack my running shoes. But lately, my running shoes tend to stay in my bag more often than they are taken out to run. I've been living scared. I'm running from the fear that I can't be the runner I wanna be. But, right before running I had told someone you only need a little faith to conquer a lot of doubt. So, I put my shoes on, switched to running glasses and took off…

…as I ran it was hard. I was thinking - Kid, you outta shape! But that wasn't enough to stop. It wasn't quitting time; it was time to quit listening to the negative. So, I kept running. My running time for the 1st mile was OK. My 2nd mile was trash…near the end of the 2nd mile I got a new perspective…the reason the running was initially so hard was because I was running uphill and didn't even know it. From this new perspective I could see the steepness I took on. It was HELLA steep!

When you get a different perspective from where you started you often get to see things you missed. You may be able to have better strategies and more confidence to finish what you started. In my 3rd mile of the run, I was re-energized and excited. I felt sanguine about the possibility of running faster than I had…the finish line didn't feel as far.

Your current perspective may make your goals seem impossible or improbable. That does not mean how it's gonna end up. If the perspective you are using isn't helping get traction on the situation, find another perspective. Sometimes it is in the form of listening to someone who has sage and is not in your situation...other times it may require you literally moving to another physical location to get the insight you need. (And you might have to move more than once.) What you have to lose is

Perspective matters to see the BIG picture

NOT the question to ask…the better question is what are the possibilities of what can be gained from a different perspective.

It's 2024. Maybe what you wanted to do in 2023 wasn't meant to remain out of your reach. Perhaps you just need to find a different perspective…Victory may be more realistic than you think. Just stay willing to pursue the idea of shifting your perspective for insight you are searching for.

 

Be well! I hope you have a life-altering 2024!
- Elgrie J., former (for now) competitive 5k runner

Embrace Your Story

 December 23, 2022

Don't be discouraged by detours in your story

Don't compare your story…don't belittle the impact of your story…an informal mentor once asked me to ask people I knew how I had affected their lives. A few people never responded…but there were a lot who did. O.M.G! The responses were not what I expected. I didn't know my story was worthy of celebration.

For me, how I felt about my cancer story was about how I felt my entire life story thus far. I did not think that my cancer story was worthy of celebration. To me, it wasn't a real cancer story because my cancer treatment was not intense or as long as others. But that's not how cancer works. If you have/had cancer, you have a cancer story. The same is true about the success you experience in life. Just because you don't win an Oscar, the World Cup, a Grammy, MVP, the Nobel Peace Prize, or the Pulitzer Prize doesn't mean the value of your success is limited to you.

Your story might be full of detours. That does not stop your story from being worthy of telling…worthy of embracing. Social media is a thorn in our self-worth…we see people portray their best selves, but not their struggles…not their flaws or moments of no self-esteem…Social media promotes instant responses…We often process that as instant results, or that our results should be identical to others…but you ain't them…you don't live their story and you don't need to. Acknowledge the fact that your story will have the ability to connect to others, even if you are not sure how it will happen.

Make time to record your story!

Don't walk into 2023 trying to create a story that you think people are expecting of you! You need to treat yourself better! The world needs you…and all that you perceive as baggage! Use it! Use it all to remind yourself of where you came from. Use it to remind yourself your story is not done yet. And when you all do all these things to embrace your story, you will be surprised by how many others you have inspired along the way. So, keep trucking and keep a written record of your journey because your story is worth more than you think!

 Be well!
-Elgrie J. Hurd III

Stand Out

April 30, 2022

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."
Matthew 5:14-16 NIV

Don't underestimate the the need of shining!

When I started teaching, I was very intentional about sharing inspirational quotes to inspire my students to be great. One of the poems I used was Marianne Williamson’s  "Our Deepest Fear." One of the parts I appreciate are the lines stating “You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the World. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won’t feel unsure around you.” Some people can't handle the greatness some people are bringing to the table. Those who cannot handle the greatness near them have often operated in mediocrity for so long, seeing/experiencing greatness is overwhelming. When I first started walking into my purpose, I would try to reduce the skills and vision I brought to my employment. I tried to stand out. I thought I was being helpful. Truth is, I was not helping anyone using this tactic. My Sunshine recently reminded me that's NOT what we do! She told me our family does not shy away from standing out. We let our lights shine! 

 If people can't handle your light, don't shine less! Those haters just better get used to it! Dimming your light for others is problematic. When we do, we are denying opportunities to thrive. People who are great didn't start that way. They built on the good of their talents until they became great. When we dim our light, we are denying ourselves future opportunities. Protecting egos of your haters that you work with does not help them learn how to remove Haterade from their diet. It also doesn't help others who need your talents or get noticed by those who have the willingness to help you develop your talents.

It's OK to recognize your place of work may not be for you. You don't have to be the good soldier and endure indefinitely. You don’t need to feel guilty if you have to find another place to shine, even if it means creating the space so that the new place can exist. Some people believe pandemic is waning in the United States. Even if that's true, we are still experiencing side effects. One of the effects is the great resignation. The great resignation refers to people in

Sometimes you are the only light around.

various work industries who decided to retire and/or find a new (and better) employment opportunity. The great resignation was a good wake-up call for many people. It gave many people the green light to chuck the deuces to their employers and embrace the idea their worth needs to be validated. And if their current place of employment was going to recognize their greatness, then some people found different employers. Others got really adventurous and started their own businesses. What will you do with this wake-up call?! 

My time is now! Your time is now! It’s not time to stand down any longer. The world needs your greatness! Do not miss the opportunity to stand out. Whatever option you pursue, ignore the haters, and get ready to light up the world! It’s GO-TIME!!!

 
Be well!
-Elgrie J

Window of Opportunity

February 28, 2022

I love a good cross-country movie

 I am a fan of most cross-country films. If you keep up with sports like cross-country, you know it is an underappreciated team sport. For the team to win, having the best runner is not enough. A winning team must be able to find a way for their top 4-5 runners to tap into their best effort to help the team have the best overall finish. As a distance runner in high school, I had to learn that winning the race did not necessarily mean my team would win the meet. In time, I had to learn that finding out what motivated my teammates to take their efforts to the next level mattered. I spent the last year of my high school experience focusing on making sure my team increased our odds of winning more cross-country meets. Back then I did not realize this was the foundation of servant leadership. What I finally began to realize, is that to win I needed to accept the fact that the effectiveness of my team was greater than the effectiveness of an individual on the team.

I had no idea my running experiences were preparing me for a calling to be a parent, mentor/coach, and a servant leader. Servant leaders seek to make the individuals who are following them to maximize their potential. For some organizations/teams, maximizing a follower’s greatness may come at the cost of the leader or the organization. A servant leader is not deterred by this possibility. As a servant leader, denying a person’s greatness is denying the world to be deprived of a gift that can change the world. This is not an option! As a parent, mentor/coach, and/or leader there is a small window of opportunity to empower individuals to recognize their greatness at an early stage in their development. Why does that matter? So, they can maximize their potential. Also, this allows individuals under someone’s leadership to reduce the chances of regret or missed opportunities.

In hindsight, my window of opportunity for teaching came in an unexpected moment. I was given an opportunity to coordinate an event for my peers in the resident hall I was staying during my freshman year of college. It didn't go as planned. It did open my eyes to what could be. Programming student events led to becoming a resident advisor, and becoming a resident advisor led to leadership and teaching opportunities for the entire university. This is my backstory to leadership and teaching. The backstory of an individual's success is important. Without knowing where someone came from it is difficult to truly comprehend the significance of their success. If we look closer, we see there was a moment that could/did change everything for each of us. For some of us, there was a moment where an intervention from someone occurred that facilitated our path towards confidence (and possibly greatness).

My son and I celebrating his 5k success

My son’s potential backstory in sports started with running long distances. To be clear, my second son is NOT a distance runner, but he's got the potential to be. He typically does not train or volunteer to run long distances. Recently, he showed me that his window of opportunity was upon us. He stated he wanted to earn a medal for a 5k race. To earn a 5k medal, you must run a 5k race. To his benefit, there was an upcoming 5k that he would feel like he earned a medal, because it was probably one of the hilliest 5k races in North Texas. But none of that matters if he was not willing to trust the process and I was not willing to guide him in the process. When it was all said and done, he earned his 5k medal, and placed in the top three of his age group…He even placed in the top ten for all boys under the age of 18. The confidence he developed in that grueling 5k was amazing. My son discovered he had a talent for running. And since that race, he has not looked back!

Like my son, there are individuals who need a push. Sadly, too many may be unsupported and unaware of the opportunity for them. Missing the window does not mean their chance to walk in their purpose/talent will never come. It likely means it will be delayed, and the world gets a delayed version of benefits. There is not time for that! Everyone is not a servant leader. But, for those of you who are, step up and do your part! I challenge you to help someone find their window of opportunity! #IAmCauseWeAre

 

Be well!
- Elgrie J./Father of the Hurd 3^rd Crew

The Worst They Can Say…

 

January 29, 2022

“You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.” - Wayne Gretzky

So many people often push for new year's resolutions. Unless we get the perfect conditions for our resolutions, our resolutions simply remain as wishful thoughts. We do not have to throw in the towel. We have options! My friend/adopted sister, Karla, gave me insight to this years ago. Unfortunately, it took me some time to realize what worked for her could work for me.

Karla went to college and majored in social work. And when she started her professional work, much of her roles were in the education and non-profit sectors. Most of her positions she loved. Most of her positions she was a rock star. Often, the organizations she worked for did not pay her what she was worth. At times, this created a gap between the things she needed/wanted to thrive personally and professionally. But that did not discourage her. Karla understood the power of not being afraid to ask others. Her rationale about asking people was the worst they can say is no. Transportation, entertainment, and even supplies for work were gifted to her because she focused on the best outcome rather than the worse.

Don't assume the answer is NO!

Too often we focus on the negative; we focus on the worst-case scenario when determining if we should consider taking any action. When we do this, we cripple ourselves from opportunities before we even get started. College applicants do this. They do not even apply to a college/university because they figure they have not shot to get in. Wayne Gretzky said, “You miss 100% of the shots you never take.” The worst thing they can say is no. They could also say yes if you take your shot! Embrace positive psychology!

Positive psychology focuses on the aspects of the human experience that help us thrive and accomplish things. Karla may not have explicitly called her efforts positive psychology; her intentions were all the same. In 2018 I wanted to thrive as an educator. I wanted to use more of my talents to create a greater impact. And I knew worrying about the noes I might get did not matter compared to the impact of getting a yes as the response to my inquiries. I reached out to colleges throughout the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex to inquire about opportunities to teach. I asked where I was teaching adjunct and asked to teach more classes. They said yes. I then reached out to a place I had considered attending nearly a decade earlier. They remembered my encounter with them. We met and I discussed my teaching philosophy and my teaching experiences. They said yes, too. One yes paved the way for more people to say yes. On my way to becoming a full-time adjunct faculty there were some nos. I did not think too much for it, because I knew it fostered another opportunity for someone to say yes. Fall 2019 I became a full-time professor of psychology and sociology at a community college because I knew there were more responses that ended in a yes than in a no. I just needed to identify the right opportunities. 

Don't be afraid of the worst. Be prepared the best of  2022...2022 doesn't have to be perfect for success. Say yes to new possibilities! What’s the worst that can happen?!

Be positive!

 Be well!
- Elgrie J.

 

 

Run it Back!

 June 30, 2021

I’ll never forget December 6, 2019. That was the date on the letter from the university where I was working on my dissertation (virtually). That was when I learned my dissertation chair had given up on me. My university had given up on me. The letter informed me that I was no longer allowed to continue with my doctoral studies. For nearly 6 months I fought the decision. I made phone calls, I sent emails, I submitted appeals. No matter the efforts, the results were the same: my doctoral journey was over. And that fact weighed heavy on me.

Academic failure was not something I had experienced before...not like this. I had to weigh the
consequences of how I wanted to proceed. I already knew that in some Ph.D. programs, over 66% of the students do not finish. As a matter of fact, less than 2% of the 332 million people in the USA have a Ph.D. But what I did not realize was how much I didn't know. I did not know it mattered that your dissertation chair needed to be your biggest fan at the university, or how much power a dissertation chair had on making or breaking your success. I underestimated the red flags encouraging me to find a new program long before my demise came. I let my pride lead my decision to keep pushing even when I felt I was alone in my fight to finish my dissertation. I always tell my kids Hurds don’t quit! And while it can be a great mantra, it can also be a blinder to facilitate an unnecessary loss. For me, it became the latter.

I’m grateful for the persistence I developed
playing hoops with my big brother.

I don't like losing. That desire not to lose started at an early age. In basketball I would lose to my big brother...again, again, and again. I would keep telling him to run it back. I wanted a redo until I won. I didn't always win. But when I did, it was enough to handle the losses...But when people tried to suggest to me to run it back as it related to trying again to get a Ph.D., it was a no-go. I was done! I didn't want to be a number…I didn’t want to be a cash cow for another university. I didn't want to do all the work again with no assurance I was going to have different results. It all boiled down to the fact that I was not sure if I was good enough. I gave my all. I gave up so much and had nothing to show. (To be fair, I walked away with my second master’s. I know for some that’s a victory. But to be nearly two chapters into a dissertation, it was hard to see and accept that victory).

A year after #ProjectDissertation came to an end, thoughts of wanting to finish what I started resurfaced. It also left me in a quandary: With a Ph.D. or without a Ph.D. I can teach at community colleges (my career original goal), so why try again? I got slammed with a lot of different perspectives to that inquiry. A mentor encouraged me not to be overcome by imposter syndrome. My past failures do not determine my potential future success. A friend said, “It's not about you!” He reminded me of some of my reasons that got me started to attempt a Ph.D. program in the first place...I wanted to increase access, so more voices could be heard. I wanted to help coach the leadership of organizations up or help those in leadership roles transition out. My wife was the nail in the coffin. She helped me acknowledge that maybe this was all part of God’s Purpose for my life. Maybe I got it wrong. Maybe I had to lose to get it right. In the end they were ALL right.

 My first day in my journey as part of Cohort XVII

Eventually I stopped moping around and started moving on. After a lot of research, I chose Dallas Baptist University (DBU). I chose DBU because it is different (and better) than my previous university. I found a better support system within the university. A university whose priority is a belief I can actually finish what I started. DBU offered me administrators, a department chair, full-time faculty, a cohort of peers, and alumni who are fully committed. Last, but not least, DBU is a place where I do not need to explain the urgency of my research focusing on Jesus and leadership of Protestant churches. I did not know how much all those things mattered for my success, but they do!

I don't know how this story ends, but I'm gonna run this back! Win or lose...I'm ready to give God (The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit) the glory for the opportunity. I'm all but done! I hope those reading this will find ways to support my efforts. For those who join me, together we WILL run it back!

 

Elgrie J. Hurd, III
- Doctoral Student, Leadership Studies Program,
Gary Cook School of Leadership, Dallas Baptist University

The Paradox of my Black Body

April 14, 2021 

My heart is heavy! I feel like it's always heavy. A lot more pain has occurred since last year with little to no progress. I'm discouraged, but I'm not hopeless. I have resilience in my DNA, so I'm not done fighting for change. I'm still here! My body is ready...my mind is not. My mind is caught in a time loop. This loop is a problem.

I was reminded of the importance of addressing the times I get in a stuck mindset when I watched Two Distant Strangers (2020). The film reminded me...

    ●  If I follow directions, I'm in danger!!!

    ●  If I do not follow directions, I'm in danger!!!

    ●  The existence in my skin...my melanin…my Black body's existence makes me dangerous. My existence puts me in danger of not getting home to my wife and kids.

 

The existence of my body shoves me to live in a state of "what if trauma?" There's no formula to ensure

my safety...no formula to ensure I'll return to my family. I'm being asked to trust a system that emotionally feels like I'm playing Russian Roulette every time I engage the system. I have to defy my biology. Reject it!!! My fight-or-flight system is ready to flee. Fighting gets me death...flight is death. Yet, there is no training to equip me for the alternative. No lifeline to rescue me. Sometimes I feel like all I have is just hope in some what-ifs…

    ●     What if my body is humanized?

    ●     What if my skin is legitimized as mattering?

    ●     What if I don't have to get to my family by any means necessary?

My body is a threat even to people who look like me. So where does that leave me? Until collectively my skin is validated...until my body is not perceived as a threat...until ending my life as a solution to the existence of my Black body is no longer an option...don't tell me it will be OK...please don't attempt to de-escalate my trauma by telling me we will get there eventually. The reality is my Black body might not get to the destination of being humanized until all life is removed from my Black body...that's a trauma mere words and hope cannot heal.

 

A Black body seeking humanized recognition,
- Professor Elgrie J. Hurd, III

Year 2020 Doesn't get the Victory

 

December 23, 2020

This year has been hard for so many reasons. Some of the reasons include...

●     COVID-19 and the pandemic attached to it. Too many love ones died, and too many survivors of COVID-19 were/are undertreated and underserved

●     Hate crimes against Blacks and in the United States gone viral

●     Hate crimes against ethnic/racial minorities and the Queer community at an all-time high in the United States

●     Thousands people out of jobs

●     Students struggling in an overwhelming digital learning environment

●     Leaders focused on themselves instead of the people they serve

In spite of all of the chaos and heartache, we are still here. We are the heart and backbone of the United States of America; we are the underdogs. The odds are stacked against us, yet we refuse to allow 2020 to get the best of us. We will NOT be the losers of 2020.

For many, our strength is revealed in times of crises. We have learned that there's more to us than meets the eye; there is power that we have yet to harness. This power flows through our ability to endure and invigorates our creativity. The fruits of this power are as follows: We have found new ways to serve others, combat debt, build equity, and fight for all of humanity.

All of those who have come before me are part of my inspiration. My elders, community leaders of the present and past, and my ancestors inspire me. They have given up so much in the hope I would have so much more. What a privilege and honor! And I recognize the source of those who inspire me to be strong and creative comes from my original source, Jesus Christ.

I alone am not enough to take on the toxicity of the world. And every day I am reminded I am not alone. On my wrist is a wristband that reads Philippians 4:13: I can do all things through Christ. I believe this with all my heart. I believe even in failures I am victorious. I am victorious because my setbacks don't mean the end...They are setups for the next chapter. The failures remind me the work is not done, because in the end Jesus WILL get the victory. The victory may not end to my liking, but it WILL end with a victory for the King of Kings!

The toxic economic, social, emotional, and spiritual attacks of 2020 will not get the victory in my life. They will not rule everything around me. I will reflect on my source, because with Him impossible is nothing! Find your victories! Celebrate them! Carry the victories into 2021, leaving 2020 in utter defeat.

 -       Elgrie J. Hurd III, Victor of Year
2020

We Haven't Arrived Yet

November 26, 2020

My Madam Vice President-Elect

In 2008 the United States of America (USA) got its first Black President. In 2020 the USA got its first Black Vice President. A Black woman is next in line to be President! I could see many making the argument that we (the USA) have transcended race and that gender roles are no longer barriers in this country. As much as I yearn for this reality, it is still just a dream.

Former President Barack Obama and Vice President-Elect Kamala Harris are not the norm for the Black experience in the United States, they are the exception. Madam Vice President-elect Kamala Harris is not the norm for the experience of women (especially Black women), she is the exception. I am excited about the possibilities of what these two milestones mean for the United States, People of Color and women. Yet, I struggle to celebrate. In my heart I know we have not arrived.

If we truly have arrived in 2020, things that should be norms would no longer be exceptions. For me, the following are not norms...

●     No longer having trepidations about my eldest son making it home safely

●     Not having others associate my success solely with affirmative action or charity, rather than being tied to hard work

A Chuck-full of peace with my Hurd 3rd Crew

●     My daughter constantly feeling beautiful outside our home and not be dehumanized because of her passion

●     Brothers and Sisters of different pigmentation and cultures to stop denying the intentional 
and systemic oppression of Blacks

●     My wife's passion expressed in her to not be seen as angry when she is not. (What she is often doing is gracefully attacking the false sense of supremacy tied to white fragility.) 

The elections of 2020 have shown us that the USA is still divided. We still have citizens who believe changes in laws mandate changes in the hearts of people. That's not how it works. We can make all the laws and execution orders. This only addresses part of the problem. Heart issues defy logic. Heart issues require an embracing of the truth for lasting change. The humanitarian and attorney Bryan Stevenson spoke about the United States having a racial bias legacy. He said, “We haven't really talked much about the legacy of racial bias...I don’t think we can be free...until we address this problem. But to get there, we’re going to have to be willing to tell the truth.” We cannot arrive as a country until we deal with the truth. Ignoring the truth keeps exceptions as exceptions, and stops the expansion of norms we all deserve to experience.

2021 is coming soon. We can hit the reset button, or make 2021 a new version of 2020. I say, "Do better!" Deal with the truths of our country...the good, the bad, and the ugly. That is how we do better! Are you ready?!

-       Elgrie J./Prof. H.

Find a Dream Partner

Dedicated to my Dream Partner

August 3, 2020

My Dream Partner, my Sunshine

What does it mean to have a dream partner? It is a person who shares the dream/dreams you have and works with you to make them a reality. Dream partners can be business partners, or family members. For me, it is my wife, my Sunshine. If you know our story, you know that we have been dream partners ever since we met. I met my dream partner at California State Polytechnic University, Pomona. We dreamed there...we built there...I proposed to her there. The best decision I ever made in college was marrying my Sunshine. Yet, it almost did not happen.

My proposal to get married was almost the proposal that never happened. Even though I had the support from members of her family and my family, I was scared to dream with her beyond college life. I was a first-generation college student, I had no wealth, and my car was barely holding on. All I had was “a couple of college credits and my top-notch brain.” I had a dream to change the world. In my mind I thought who would give up a world of comfort for that? Would my Sunshine want to build that dream into a reality with me? This concern hindered my efforts to blow her away with a romantic proposal...I feared she would say no. In my most vulnerable state, she said yes. She said she would marry me and began to dream.

Our marriage has been full of dreams and nightmares. I am thankful the dreams outweigh the nightmares by a long shot. This year, my Sunshine and I dreamed of having our own forever home. In January 2020, we began looking at homes. We were not ready to have our own home, but we wanted to get ideas. We came upon this home not far from us. The moment we walked in, my Sunshine was in love with the house. She saw things I could not see. She was dreaming of possibilities, and I was stuck in reality. Unfortunately, when we began to seriously look at homes, only one of us was dreaming. I was thinking in the now, my Sunshine was dreaming about the future. And then in May 2020, we saw a house. It was nice. It had potential, but there was a problem. My Sunshine pointed out that this home was good for the family right now, but what about the future? We could not grow in this house. At that moment, I realized that I had stopped being her dream partner. My Sunshine was dreaming alone. I was seeing convenience while she was seeing more. My shortcoming rocked me, and I told her, "I want to dream with you." From the moment forward, we dreamed of not settling...we dreamed of a home that would allow our family to grow and bless others.

My dream partner put my commitment to the test. The house we saw in January that she loved, was the first house we saw once we found a realtor to help us. In June, it was still the only house that was aligned with our forever home dream wish list. We drove by it (together and separately). When we drove by it, we prayed about it. If this was not going to be our home, we wanted something just like it. And then one day, we walked by it. We saw a potential neighbor. We introduced ourselves and asked him to pray that we get this house and become his neighbors. Then, we shared our vision with some of our closest loved ones. They encouraged us to go for it. We wrote the seller a letter. In the letter we said…

Our desire is to grow our family. We know to do this, the space needs to be bigger than where we currently reside; welcoming for growth...Over the last few years we have become part of the city. Our children attend the local public schools and we are actively serving the community because we want to contribute to its legacy.

Since we moved to Texas, it has been our dream to have a forever home. We have worked tirelessly to get to this point. Making this home our home will have made the journey worth it. If you accept our offer, you are helping two educators achieve their dreams, so we can focus on helping others achieve theirs. Our desire is to close on July 31^st. This is our wedding anniversary. We feel that closing on this date would be an indelible reminder of the blessings the Year 2020 has brought to our family.

Sold to the Hurd 3rd Crew

The seller did not accept our initial offer; we accepted the counter. We did not close on the house on our wedding anniversary, but pretty close to it. From a sentimental perspective, it was not what we wanted. We also recognized the closing date was not deal breaker either. We had several hiccups along the way. Yet, because we were dreaming together, setbacks were just setups for success to get this home. When one of us was losing confidence on the journey, the other partner reminded us that our journey was bigger than us; our potential impact was bigger than us. Our faith in our dreams were bigger than our doubts. We focused on what was to come, rather than what was.

16 years later, I love how we are still finding new ways to dream. My Sunshine continuously shows me that if we dare to dream, there is no limit to what we can do. Even in the midst of economic uncertainty and a global pandemic, we dreamed beyond what we could see. For years, my wife and I were members of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship, led by Dr. Tony Evans. One of the sermons that stuck with me was his sermon of faith. He defined faith as “acting like it is so, even when it’s not so, in order than it might be so, simply because God said so.” For us, faith requires us to do our part, and letting God do the rest. The challenge is being patient for God’s timing. Thankfully, our faith in God is mutual. We believe we are each other’s dream partner. And that cohesive faith goes a long way. My challenge to others is to find a dream partner. Find someone who dreams with you based on faith, not by sight. For dreams to be what they need to be you have to have faith. Faith that believes impossible is nothing. Dream together! A dream partner must be faithful. You must be faithful with your dream partner. So, dream on!

- Elgrie J., The Dream Partner of Althea C. (my Sunshine)

So What Are You Teaching?

May 9, 2020

This wasn't part of the plan. This isn’t what I wanted to write about, but it is necessary. If I am to honor the teachers who I seek to honor I have to write this. For me, teaching is not about teaching new things. Teaching is often about changing mindsets. As teachers, we often seek to give you a new way to look at something that you are already familiar with. Teachers give words and efficient strategies to what we tend to have already been exposed to. I learned that from my first real mentor, Mr. Rhem Bell. Mr. Bell was like a real-life Furious Styles, the character Lawrence Fishburne played in film Boyz n the Hood (1991). Mr. Bell wanted me to understand the power to real change starts in the mind. Maybe that's why I fell in love with psychology and sociology.

Too many of us think we aren't teachers because we don't have children or because our title is not teacher. But, we are all teachers. We teach others with our words; we teach others with our actions. So, what are you teaching with your words? What are you teaching with your actions? In my fight for humanity, I had a teacher who I have never told her how much she changed my views of the world. I've known one of my Frat Brothers since junior high. I remember being at his house and someone used the phrase “I hate him/I hate you!!!” And then with lightning speed his mother showed up. She said, “don't hate people; hate their attitudes.” In that encounter, she planted a seed in me. I am eternally grateful.

Two teachers gave me two lessons. Two lessons that I try to use every day. I'm not perfect; I have plenty of slip ups. The key is to know when you are slipping up. To know when you are slipping up, you have to recognize mindset roadblocks stopping you from being the best teacher you can be. There are usually three possible mindset roadblocks…

○     #1: Cognitive dissonance: We think one way, but behave in contradiction of that thought

○     #2: Silence: When we know we should say or do something, but we don’t 

○     #3: Guilt: You get defensive on what’s on topic because you know you should be doing more

If we want to change future generations, if we want to change work and community environments, we don't get to be selfish. We do not get to pass the buck for someone else to step up to create the change. We do not get to wait until older generations die. That is not how it works. Their lessons live on if we do not step up. To the teachers who teach change...Thanks! Keep it up! To those who don't...your grace period is over! #DoBetter ...The whole world is depending on you!

-       Elgrie J., an official and unofficial teacher in all things I do