Imprisonment of a Dream

 

May 31, 2025

Some people tell you to do everything you can to achieve your dream, no matter the costs. I can see why people would push that narrative. It’s about showing your commitment…it’s about your will to sacrifice for the prize. But I have a question: What’s the point if you lose the things that made the dream worth achieving, it really a dream worth holding onto?! I get the privilege to wear many titles. I am a husband, a father, an uncle, a brother, a son, a nephew, a cousin, and a devoted friend. I value the relationships that come with these titles. And if I have to lose them for a dream, then that may not be the dream for me.

Don't let your dream trap you!

Some people are so locked in their pursuits their dream, to achieve it the dream turns into a nightmare. It does not take much debating to suggest people who are incarcerated want to be free…what’s surprising is sometimes people who are free allow their dream to isolate them so much they lose their freedom. Don't let your dream become your nightmare. Don't have tunnel vision that blocks you from the improv necessary to keep your dream alive. Don't dismiss the lifelines to your dream that appear in unorthodox ways. To dream big often requires using tools and perspectives you couldn't imagine because you were dreaming too small!

On a 2025 The Pivot podcast episode featuring Anthony Mackie the conversation moved to the topic of individual success. Anthony Mackie talked about people who are successful are often chosen…it’s not just necessarily their skills. Another interview on The Pivot podcast, they interviewed the musician Jelly Roll. The lead host is a former NFL player. He said that he was not the most talented football player and a lot of people who were more talented but succumbed to the temptations of the world. If you do not succumb to the world and the world gets to see your talents, remember you are chosen. That means use your talents, don’t waste them. That also means, don’t be selfish with your talents. You get to unlock more of your dream when you find ways to help others discover and develop theirs.

See your incomplete dream differently!

Some of you all reading this cannot relate to the idea of your dream becoming a reality. All my dreams never came  true. And there’s a good chance some of my dreams will remain an eternal dream status. This does not mean you got it all wrong. Sometimes you choose life over dreams. Sometimes you choose a purpose that outshines your dream idea even on the cloudiest days. You gotta remember that   you don't need to be imprisoned by what your dream did   not become…celebrate aspects of your dream that were not deferred. Build on what has manifested into reality and   reclaim what was deferred on your terms! Relax! Take a deep breath! Don't worry…you got this!!!

Your Dream Fan,
Elgrie J. Hurd III

Number One Fan

 

July 31, 2022

For more than two decades my maternal grandmother was my #1 fan. She believed I could do anything or be anything. And she made sure everyone who came in her path knew it too. My first seasonal job while in college was at an affluent shopping mall. When my grandma learned about my interview, she volunteered herself to attend (and I awkwardly and under duress agreed). She got my hourly wages to be higher than what I was willing to accept. She saw my worth even when I didn't. She knew the relationship pitfalls I ended up in before I did. Things changed when she met my Sunshine. The moment she met her she knew what I knew: My Sunshine is the one; my Sunshine is my favorite-favorite. 

For nearly 20 years, my favorite-favorite has been my Sunshine 🌞.  To those unfamiliar with me or this blog, that is the nickname for Althea, my wife. But she's more than any of these titles. For 18+ years my Sunshine has been my #1 fan. It's like the moment she met my grandmother there was a passing of a baton. Like my grandmother, she often sees the Greatness in me that I don't see. She believed in my ability to teach at colleges and complete academic work at the graduate level. I was Dr. Hurd to her when I only saw myself as Elgrie.

And while I am honored to have Sunshine as my #1 fan, I love the privilege to be her biggest fan. I learned early on that as much as she denies it, she's a life-long learner. I love her commitment to continually learn how to love me. She found new interests and figured out what tools she needed to learn and apply what she knew. Whether it is teaching, tutoring, being a doula, birth educator, midwife assistant, or carpenter, she is always learning. I’m here for it! I’m a fan!

I am a fan of the way she loves others…and that starts with our children. She inspired me in how her love translates into her commitment to love each of our children based on their unique ways. She has taught me that all my children can be my favorites. I am a fan of her heart for those in need. While her target audience may be Black people, she is willing to answer the call of someone in need no matter their background. Most surprisingly, I am a fan because you are the model of living in the moment. It's a difficult thing to operate in a world that encourages you to be so focused on what's next you are likely to not focus on the now…18 years into this marriage I don't wanna miss out on the present because I'm dreading the past or hyper focused on the future. Why rush through the present to get to the future. "The future is coming…sooner than you think." Until then, I want to live out every sunrise and sunset with God's gift to me…my Sunshine.


 Everyone deserves to have a #1 fan. We all need reminders of the value we have that we can’t see in ourselves.  To my #1 fan…thank you…I love you. I hope you feel my passion as your #1 fan…EVERYDAY!

 

Happily in love and married,
Elgrie J.

The Simple Things

July 31, 2021

A public love letter to My Sunshine...

Our story is full of simple things. A simple comment about Black beauty. A simple touch. A simple slice of pizza. I had no idea that a simple exchange in words would help me discover the best friend I've ever had (outside of Jesus).

Maybe my first gift for my Sunshine should have been a foreshadow clue on how some things would play out in our marriage. I created a candygram. That was a big deal for me. It was the first time I had made one! The candygram was full of messages telling you how you were a sweet tart and how I was a zero without you. It was a micro of my expression of love and appreciation...I didn't do grandiose...I did do intentional things from the heart.

17 years into this marriage, I'm still just a simple guy. Just give me my Jesus, my Sunshine, my kids, and some quality root beer and I'm good to go. Yet, somehow you found ways to expand my simplicity. Whether it is you tightening my locs, sharing meals, home schooling our Hurd 3rd Crew, or the peace your random, unexpected hugs bring me. Thank you for the simple discoveries.

Love "Sunday Morning"

In the 17 years of us being married, you took what we started when we courted into one of the greatest gifts of all-time. You showed me to be simply me, no matter who is around. That was/is hard. To be vulnerable to you and the world was/is scary. Prior to meeting you my vulnerability was exploited. You made it my superpower! It helped me at work to connect with people like no one else could...It helped me be a better parent. Showing my kids that their superhero sometimes falls short (and his human) was one of the greatest gifts you have given me (that keeps on giving).

So, is there more for us to do and learn? ABSOLUTELY!!! 17 years in, and we are just getting started! At age 17, we were far from having things figured out. Why would 17 years into a marriage be any different?! I hope we continue to have excitement to do things we have done; travel to places we have never seen. I hope we get to grow in Jesus in ways we never knew we could. And if for some reason all of these things are not part of future chapters of our story, I hope we do as much as we can until our story on this side of infinity ends.

It's the simple things!

I love you more now than I did when we first got married. I’m looking forward to my love for your deepening even more...I’m looking forward to all the little things to come!

"Thank you for this journey, no matter how it ends."

- Elgrie J.

Find a Dream Partner

Dedicated to my Dream Partner

August 3, 2020

My Dream Partner, my Sunshine

What does it mean to have a dream partner? It is a person who shares the dream/dreams you have and works with you to make them a reality. Dream partners can be business partners, or family members. For me, it is my wife, my Sunshine. If you know our story, you know that we have been dream partners ever since we met. I met my dream partner at California State Polytechnic University, Pomona. We dreamed there...we built there...I proposed to her there. The best decision I ever made in college was marrying my Sunshine. Yet, it almost did not happen.

My proposal to get married was almost the proposal that never happened. Even though I had the support from members of her family and my family, I was scared to dream with her beyond college life. I was a first-generation college student, I had no wealth, and my car was barely holding on. All I had was “a couple of college credits and my top-notch brain.” I had a dream to change the world. In my mind I thought who would give up a world of comfort for that? Would my Sunshine want to build that dream into a reality with me? This concern hindered my efforts to blow her away with a romantic proposal...I feared she would say no. In my most vulnerable state, she said yes. She said she would marry me and began to dream.

Our marriage has been full of dreams and nightmares. I am thankful the dreams outweigh the nightmares by a long shot. This year, my Sunshine and I dreamed of having our own forever home. In January 2020, we began looking at homes. We were not ready to have our own home, but we wanted to get ideas. We came upon this home not far from us. The moment we walked in, my Sunshine was in love with the house. She saw things I could not see. She was dreaming of possibilities, and I was stuck in reality. Unfortunately, when we began to seriously look at homes, only one of us was dreaming. I was thinking in the now, my Sunshine was dreaming about the future. And then in May 2020, we saw a house. It was nice. It had potential, but there was a problem. My Sunshine pointed out that this home was good for the family right now, but what about the future? We could not grow in this house. At that moment, I realized that I had stopped being her dream partner. My Sunshine was dreaming alone. I was seeing convenience while she was seeing more. My shortcoming rocked me, and I told her, "I want to dream with you." From the moment forward, we dreamed of not settling...we dreamed of a home that would allow our family to grow and bless others.

My dream partner put my commitment to the test. The house we saw in January that she loved, was the first house we saw once we found a realtor to help us. In June, it was still the only house that was aligned with our forever home dream wish list. We drove by it (together and separately). When we drove by it, we prayed about it. If this was not going to be our home, we wanted something just like it. And then one day, we walked by it. We saw a potential neighbor. We introduced ourselves and asked him to pray that we get this house and become his neighbors. Then, we shared our vision with some of our closest loved ones. They encouraged us to go for it. We wrote the seller a letter. In the letter we said…

Our desire is to grow our family. We know to do this, the space needs to be bigger than where we currently reside; welcoming for growth...Over the last few years we have become part of the city. Our children attend the local public schools and we are actively serving the community because we want to contribute to its legacy.

Since we moved to Texas, it has been our dream to have a forever home. We have worked tirelessly to get to this point. Making this home our home will have made the journey worth it. If you accept our offer, you are helping two educators achieve their dreams, so we can focus on helping others achieve theirs. Our desire is to close on July 31^st. This is our wedding anniversary. We feel that closing on this date would be an indelible reminder of the blessings the Year 2020 has brought to our family.

Sold to the Hurd 3rd Crew

The seller did not accept our initial offer; we accepted the counter. We did not close on the house on our wedding anniversary, but pretty close to it. From a sentimental perspective, it was not what we wanted. We also recognized the closing date was not deal breaker either. We had several hiccups along the way. Yet, because we were dreaming together, setbacks were just setups for success to get this home. When one of us was losing confidence on the journey, the other partner reminded us that our journey was bigger than us; our potential impact was bigger than us. Our faith in our dreams were bigger than our doubts. We focused on what was to come, rather than what was.

16 years later, I love how we are still finding new ways to dream. My Sunshine continuously shows me that if we dare to dream, there is no limit to what we can do. Even in the midst of economic uncertainty and a global pandemic, we dreamed beyond what we could see. For years, my wife and I were members of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship, led by Dr. Tony Evans. One of the sermons that stuck with me was his sermon of faith. He defined faith as “acting like it is so, even when it’s not so, in order than it might be so, simply because God said so.” For us, faith requires us to do our part, and letting God do the rest. The challenge is being patient for God’s timing. Thankfully, our faith in God is mutual. We believe we are each other’s dream partner. And that cohesive faith goes a long way. My challenge to others is to find a dream partner. Find someone who dreams with you based on faith, not by sight. For dreams to be what they need to be you have to have faith. Faith that believes impossible is nothing. Dream together! A dream partner must be faithful. You must be faithful with your dream partner. So, dream on!

- Elgrie J., The Dream Partner of Althea C. (my Sunshine)