Look How Far You've Come

 October 31, 2024

 Sometimes we normalize our reality. Some of us dismiss the fact that we were not always where we (currently) are. We often forget how far we have come. Unfortunately, when we do this, we miss an opportunity to build our confidence and understand our impact on the world. It also stops us from dreaming. When we accomplish a goal or live out a dream, we are giving ourselves permission to dream again. We are giving ourselves permission to create new goals.

There was a time when my 1st-born didn't believe in his running abilities. No one other than his dad was speaking to his ability. Eventually, a few coaches took notice. However, his belief was not aligned with theirs. He was stuck in where he started versus where he actually was. My son ran cross country all four years of high school. When he started 4 years ago, his team was not a team…they were individuals who were wearing the same uniform. This year was different. This year my son and his teammates were reflective. They didn't dwell on what they hadn't done. They celebrated where they come from. They lived in the moment. This approach carried into almost every race they had. And while their season didn't end the way they wanted, their appreciation of where they came and what they accomplished can never be taken from them. They created a new culture that has the potential to be part of the legacy they leave behind.

I am so excited about where I am in my life! I am so excited about what I get to do for my family and my community. My excitement is rooted in refusing to let my “what ifs” steal the excitement and peace of mind of what is going on in the here and now! Every setback and every lesson have built the foundation I need to thrive in the now. I needed doors shut on me…I needed disruptions and interference that were thrown my way…These experiences gave me humility and gratitude that were essential to personal and professional growth.

In the not-too-distant past, I got to take in how far I’ve come in a way I have never done before. I have always been a fan of Dr. Michael Eric Dyson. From the way that he writes, to the way he speaks, I have been inspired. My early research interests were supported by the writings of Dr. Dyson. When I was working on my master’s at San Jose State University, my research was focused on Hip-Hop. I was examining the good, the bad, and the ugly of Hip-Hop culture. Hip-Hop has been part of my cultural experience long before I had words to describe it. And in graduate school, I wanted to do my part to offer deeper insight into the complexities of Hip-Hop. My research led me to analyze the complexities of Tupac Shakur. There was a lot written about Tupac and Hip-Hop that I used for references. Nothing was as influential to me as the works of Dr. Dyson.

As a graduate student, I often could not afford a lot of the books I needed. Thankfully, I went to a university that had an awesome library. One of the books they had was Dyson’s Holler If You Hear Me (2001). I would spend nights reading and re-reading it…I would make notes in my 3” x 5” pocket memo pad that I still had from my undergraduate studies. Because the book was not mine, I wanted to make sure I made exhaustive notes. I wrote down direct quotes, page numbers, and my own commentary. I took so many notes, I almost ran out of space in my memo pad. I remember wishing I owed the book, so I could engage with the text like I had with books I owed. I did not know when, but I knew one day that would change.

That was 2005-2006. Now it is 2024. It is mind-blowing how far I have come! While I do not buy every book that could offer insight, I have more books with my handwritten responses than I did back at San Jose State. I have had the chance to review numerous textbooks and even get recognition by the authors in a few of them. There was a time when I just wanted people to give me a shot in academia. Now, I get the privilege to be requested as a subject matter expert. I have the honor to stay in touch with many of those who have mentored me. They have gotten a chance to see me mature. I have also been able to offer sage to those who are already full of so much wisdom. I thank them constantly for how they have blessed me. I see the value in full-circle moments, and I attempt to identify them as often as I can.

October 25, 2024, gave me another chance to have a full-circle moment. I was invited to attend a dinner where Dr. Michael Eric Dyson was being honored for his literary works. I brought two of my Dyson books and a pen with the hopes I could get an autograph. I arrived when he arrived; I parked as he was parking. We walked into the venue at the same time. He said good evening, and I could not say a word…I was too overwhelmed to say anything. Then, for a brief moment after the ceremony, he was alone. I thanked him for his writings. I told him that I wrote my master’s project on Tupac Shakur. I told him that his writings helped me share my thoughts on Tupac. I told him my occupation and he told me he was proud of the work I was doing. We took pictures. He signed my books, and we took more pictures. If you told me in 2006, I would be taking pictures with Dr. Michael Eric Dyson like we were besties, I would have never believed you. But it happened…it is an experience I’ll never forget.

Today is possible because of yesterday. Tomorrow is possible because of today. We often make the mistake of not remembering our personal and/or professional evolution. We manifest our goals more than we don't. It has been said that you need 5 positive comments to balance out one negative comment. For everything in your life you view as a failure, there are at least 5 things you have accomplished. My 2004 paved the way for my 2024. In those 20 years, there's more to celebrate than to dwell on. My belief is that is also true for you. If you look at how far you have come, I believe you should consider a celebration dance. Until then, I'm doing it for you!

 

Be well!
-Professor Elgrie J. Hurd, III

I Gotta Write My Way Out…

December 27, 2023
 

“Y'all, I caught my first beatin' from the other kids when I was caught readin'
"Oh, you think you smart?"—Blaow!—start bleedin'
My pops tried in vain to get me to fight back
Sister tapped my brains, said, "Pssh—you'll get 'em right back."
Oversensitive, defenseless, I made sense of it, I pencil in
The lengths to which I'd go to learn my strengths and knock 'em senseless
These sentences are endless, so what if they leave me friendless?
"Damn, you got no chill," f*****' right—I'm relentless
I know Abuela's never really gonna win the lottery
So it's up to me to draw blood with this pen, hit an artery
This Puerto Rican's brains are leakin' through the speakers
And if he can be the shinin' beacon this side of the G.W.B and
Shine a light when it's gray out?”
-Lin Manuel-Miranda from “I Wrote My Way Out”

The original Hamilton musical was something I enjoyed when I experienced it. The follow up to the Broadway smash was the remix album featuring various popular Hip-Hop, R&B, and Pop artists. My favorite song is the 2nd track featuring Nas, Aloe Blacc, Dave East, and Lin-Manuel Miranda. I love everything about this remix song. As a kid who was bullied by bullies and poverty long before my mouth found the volume to be loud enough to express what was in my heart, I found my voice in writing.

For some time now, lots of people have been asking me when I am gonna be done with my dissertation. There are so many responses in my head to these inquiries. And I've come to accept that the best response I can give is by writing it out. My short answer is it will be done when it gets done. The long answer is I'll finish when opportunity, support, and my writing find a compromise. Successful dissertations require having committee members to have your back as a doctoral student. It requires making edits in your writing that the faculty want to fit their definition of doctoral research and analysis. This expectation varies from committee to committee. But, no matter who is part of my committee, I gotta remember, I'm a writer. No dissertation committee can take that away from me.

All my life writing has been my refuge…

• Short stories
• Poems
• Narrative essays
• Analyzing the world we live in and the world that once was…
• Even when I became a parent, my short stories became my bedtime stories for my children…

There was a time before I started this 2nd attempt at a doctoral program, I did not think my writing was good enough. Writing blogs and poetry is one thing, but can my writing get me through a dissertation?! At first, I made the mistake of looking for validation during my academic journey from current my doctoral program…I listened to the hysteria of some classmates and their best practices of those who have finished their dissertation, and tried to become a student I thought I had to be…I was too busy trying to write in a way that put my voice on mute. Class after class, I felt hollow…I was giving a writing version of myself I thought my doctoral program expected. And semester after semester I felt like I was missing the mark on my writing assignments.

It took nearly 3 summers into my program at Dallas Baptist University (DBU) to learn about the value of my style of writing in traditional academia…it will not get me the highest grades; it will get me the highest level of tranquility and peace. I need that! That is more valuable than an A…sometimes being me will give an A, other times it won’t, but no matter what my writing will be my ticket to completing my work at DBU.

I must keep writing…but I cannot make the mistake that makes it OK in my mind to justify my desire to slack off from other obligations to focus on writing.  My world should not revolve around my dissertation. My responsibilities don't stop…

-       My dad duties don’t stop
-       Taking care of my health does not stop
-       Being a husband does not stop
-       Teaching full-time does not stop
-       My faith walk does not stop

Finally, I must remember doctoral writing requires LOTS of practice to be an expert. A work year is 2,080 hours…to be great at something, you need at least 10,000 hours…that's nearly 5 full-time working years…so…I won't be a doctoral writing expert when I finish this dissertation. But I believe my writing will be enough to confer my Ph.D. in Leadership Studies from DBU. Don't let the opinions of others get in the way of what you were called to do. Don’t underestimate the importance of surrounding yourself with people who value your gifts. And don’t let self-doubts consume your dreams. If you have a story to tell, tell your story! And if writing is a medium that has empowered you, write
your way out!

Write away!
- Elgrie J

You Against You

 

November 26, 2023

“See that guy staring back at you…That’s your toughest opponent.” – Rocky Balboa (from the film Creed)

Don't let others define your legacy/purpose

All of us want to matter to someone beyond ourselves. For some people, one person is enough…for others, some want to matter to the entire world. We all have different reasons for this desire. I believe it is the foundation of the human experience to have purpose. Jeremiah 29:11 states “…for I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future…”

I think we all have a unique purpose. As a child, I wanted a purpose, and I had no idea how to find it. Because I did not know my purpose, I grew thinking I had to prove myself every step of the way because…

• I was the smallest
• Or the younger sibling of…
• Or the only Black kid
• The first-generation college student
• The kid from poverty
• The charity case of kid who survived more than I am willing to put on into digital words

Thankfully, by the time I got to college, I began to find pieces of my purpose. While I did have it all together by the time I finished college, I kept getting closer. After relocating to Texas and experiencing my 2^nd toxic work environment I finally began to recognize I had more say on my purpose than I thought. The things I was able to control were more impactful on my purpose (not my reality/situation) than I realized. Whether it’s my health, my parenting skills, my husband skills, relationships with others, or my journey in academics…there are many battles. The greatest battle is me against me!!! To win, I gotta move myself out of the way. I need to move my doubt and past failures out of the way. The main character of Creed (2015) had to do the same thing, move outta our own way!

I love the movie Creed (2015). It is a boxing version of my origin story in many ways…Adonis (Johnson) Creed never met his biological father. He was born out of an affair his father had with his mother, while his father was married to someone else. Coming into adulthood, Adonis Creed wanted to prove he wasn’t a mistake. He wasn’t a mistake!!! The only way to prove that was to get out of his own way. He had to move his doubt…he had to move his disbelief out of his own way.

Your Toughest Opponent: You!

At times I have felt like I was a mistake. And that was the lie that tried to hijack my purpose. No matter your story, you are NOT a mistake. Your greatness is not determined by where you came from; it is based on how determined you are to get where you are going. In the film, Creed did not win the boxing title. He lost the fight, but he won. He won because he found himself. Sometimes the gold at the end of the rainbow is the treasure we need, not what we want…it may be what is needed to get started. What parts of you are in your way? Name them! Create a plan to move each of them out of your way. Once they are gone…your journey becomes clearer. So, remember, “it’s you against you!”

 

Be well!
- Elgrie J.

I Must Have Forgotten…

 

September 29, 2023

Hip Hop is an influential force in shaping cultures throughout the world. 2023 marks the 50th anniversary of Hip Hop culture. If you were born after the 1990s and/or not familiar with Hip Hop, it's more than music. Some of the most agreed upon elements of Hip Hop are deejaying, rapping, breakdancing, graffiti, knowledge, and fashion. And if you are from the San Francisco Bay Area, your contributions to Hip Hop are often overlooked by the world and by Hip Hop. I recently came across an article by NPR describing the connection of the Bay Area and Hip Hop. (NRP’s article on Hip Hop and the Bay Area.) Reading this article reminded me I must have forgotten some things.

 

It hurts to forget the things that matter!

There's a sweet spot that you strive for in this situation. You want recognition and you also wanna offer a nod to those who paved the way for you. Sometimes it is easy to forget your backstory. Maybe you forget because you don’t think you need it anymore…maybe you wanna forget because you are tired of the hurt from your past…When you forget sometimes it can hinder future success because you dismiss what generated your success in the first place.

In February 2019 I wrote a blog post about being in the thick of my journey to become a full-time faculty member at a community college. I mentioned how growing up in the San Francisco Bay Area made me embrace hustling to reach my goals. Here we are nearly 5 years later since that post, and I have hit a situation that I did not expect. I often talk about being proud of being from eastern Menlo Park. But lately I have forgotten where I come from.

When I say I forgot where I came from it doesn't mean the literal location; I am referring to the lessons and experiences of my past. ALL of my past shaped me. My past has fueled me in a way that made any discomfort that came with the journey worth it. Success is coming my way in ways I could not have imagined. And recently, I forgot what got me here. What got me here was operating on faith, working hard, loving hard, not living for success, and being unapologetically me. Lately, working hard has been the lone element that has remained. In addition, I discovered that challenges and problems don't necessarily disappear with success. Sometimes, new problems appear, and some old problems don’t go away.

I forgot how not focusing solely on the goal gave me energy (and drive) to do things most people were not able to do. Before this recent setback I was still parenting full-throttle, I was still being attentive to my fitness, and I was still seeking to be a hopeless romantic to my best friend that I get to spend the rest of my life with. My journey was not solo, yet I kept convincing myself it was. This made it easy to forget WHO my source is. The film Coach Carter (2005) has a scene where Coach Carter (who is played by the great Samuel L. Jackson) ties his shoes in front of his players and then says, "I did that!" He continued to be over the top in his communication at practice. He wanted the players to know they (as individuals) were not the source of their success. He wanted them to get their minds right. I needed to adjust my mindset and shrink my ego. I didn't achieve success alone. I was provided with people and resources from The Source who is greater than all of us. Now I'm not back where I need to be, but I'm back on track to get there.

Write down reminders of who you are!

I think everyone should strive to reach their goals. I think being focused has value…I think being disciplined so you can accomplish something has value. But living for success ain’t living. Success is only a piece of life. Just because I must have forgotten, does not mean you have to experience my lessons from the school of hard knocks to have the same epiphany. Don't forget where you come from. Don’t shy away from your story that made you who you are. Being authentically you is what has pushed you where you are. Stay true to you! "Remember who you are!"

 

Be well and let your uniqueness shine!
-Elgrie J.

Thank You

August 30, 2023

 

I have read stories about people who found success despite those who wrote them off…despite people denying them success. There are some stories that I can relate to…

•  Tom Brady is a 6-time Super Bowl Champion and was not even a 1^st round draft pick. Brady was drafted as the 199th pick in the 6th round of NFL draft
• Draymond Green was drafted 35th in the 2nd round. He became a 4-time NBA Champion and a Defensive Player of the Year
• Jennifer Hudson was told no on th
  e American Idol show, only to become an Oscar ® award winner
• Oprah Winfrey faced economic hardship and sexual abuse in her early life to become s global icon and entrepreneur
• In 2014, at age 17, Malala Yousafzai from Pakistan became the youngest Nobel Peace Prize winner in defiance of the Taliban 

7 years ago, I read Psalm 23 every day for 2 years. I did not know how much it would help in my journey as a traveling professor. In August 2018, I quit my full-time job and took a chance. For the next 12 months I learned how to be vulnerable and lean on others. For 12 months I had no full-time job, an increasing amount of bills, and acceptance that my family's needs superseded my ego. Whether it was utilizing local food pantries or even being hired at a local Wal-Mart for an early morning shift. Psalm 23 was manifesting before my eyes.

 

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. (Psalms 23:1 NIV)

My family and I may not have had everything we wanted during those 12 months, but we had everything we needed. I believed I could be a community college faculty member that local colleges needed if I was just given a chance. I was given just that. I served as an adjunct professor for numerous college systems (teaching 9+ classes per semester) throughout the Central North Texas area. My goal was to improve my qualifications to be a viable full-time faculty member.

 

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. (Psalm 23:4)

During that time, I underestimated how people would be barriers to my professional goals. I encountered so many naysayers that at times I thought I was walking in "the shadow of death." My doubt grew when the talent I knew I had was not recognized by some of the places I was hired as a part-time employee. Some college systems even passed on giving me an opportunity at all.

For some people, all of these obstacles would be discouraging. That was not the story for me for two reasons. First, I believed God called me for this opportunity. I had a specific prayer every semester of how many classes for this adventure to work financially. Each semester God delivered (and then some). Second, I remembered what I had learned a few years ago…the book The Art of War points out how your enemies can be the key to victory. They can help you identify the pitfalls in your own strategies that can be used against you. I sought to address those pitfalls; implementing solutions to remove "no" from being a possible answer. Below were some of the reasons they said I could not teach full-time at a community college:

• We can't hire you because you have not been teaching long enough
• You don't teach a variety of classes
• You're too young
• Teaching in the K-12 public school system is not relevant teaching experience to teaching postsecondary (college level) education

These reasons for people to say no to me were my unique traits I saw as valuable contributions in the classroom. So, I took every potential excuse made by employers and gatekeepers to deny me and used them. I proved my unique traits did not make me undesirable; they made me an unicorn in higher education.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. (Psalm 23:5)

I often felt Psalm 23:5 was limited to when people die. My experience 5 years ago was an example that sometimes it happens on this side of eternity.

• People prayed for me.
• They offered me opportunities to work
• Offered me meals
• Offered me mentoring
• Offered me a listening ear

All these gifts comforted me when I felt alone…All these gifts built my confidence that I was on the right track…All these gifts strengthened my faith that my prayers were being heard!

 

In August 2019 I officially became a full-time faculty member at a community college. So, thank you to all those who said no to me (whatever their reasons). Thank you to all my enemies! Thank you to all my enemies who didn't even know they were my enemies. Your resistance powered my persistence. My determination was bigger than your ability to say no. My faith in God-The Father was bigger than your doubt in me. As Derek Luke said in Antwone Fisher (2002), “I'm still standing! I'm still strong!!!" And I would not have known any of this without my enemies' willingness to attempt to block my success. THANK YOU!!!

This is faith over doubt manifested!

 
Ye [formerly known as Kanye West] said:
“Now I could let these dream killers kill my self-esteem…
Or use my arrogance as the steam to power my dreams.
I use it as my gas, so they say that I'm gassed,
But without it I'd be last, so I ought to laugh"
Don't let the haters tear you down. Let the haters’ hateration be the fuel to #EnvisionYourSuccess and allow you to say, "Thank you" to them!

#ProjectTheCure continues!!! #ProjectDissertation continues!!!
Dream Big!!!

- Elgrie J./Professor Hurd

Professor Hurd believes in Empathy versus Hateration 

Doing Life Together!

 

July 31, 2023

“God has given us so many reasons…to carry on with this love…” - Kindred The Family Soul

I am a hopeless romantic. And I love finding singers/artists that speak to all the aspects of love. One of those groups is Kindred The Family Soul. I love the group Kindred The Family Soul! They are not just a singing group. They are song writers that happen to be a husband-and-wife tandem. They have been married since 1998. Seven albums and 6 kids later, they are still together. And their story of Black Love has not been drama free. They have had to work through unemployment, financial challenges, and a lack of support from the music industry. Yet, Aja Graydon and Fatin Dantzler remain an example of what living their life together looks like. I think people underestimate what it takes to make marriages work. Marriages that look easy require A LOT of work. I think my marriage to My Sunshine is no different.

“In this life together, we have traveled far.” - Kindred The Family Soul

To be clear, My Sunshine is my best friend. And I mean my BEST friend! There is nothing I cannot tell her (although I am sure she wishes there were things I would keep to myself). This is one of the foundations of your marriage. I love being married to my best friend. I am eager to share my world outside our home; I am even more eager to know what is going on in her mind…I wanna learn how she is evolving in serving our community, as a parent, and most importantly how she is evolving as an individual. I can’t lie, sometimes I get things wrong as a friend. (Probably way more often than I want to admit.) Sometimes I need to learn how to be a better friend. To do this, it requires vulnerability on my end and grace on her end. I am grateful that this formula is still working. As a matter of fact, we are doing better in our friendship than we did when we first began this journey.

This summer I had to study abroad (in Europe) for my graduate studies. It was hard for many reasons…Having dependable friends matters. And on my trip, my friends within my cohort kept me afloat. My relationship with My Sunshine has paved the way for what I expect from friends. I know friends are not easy to come by. Too often what you think are friendships, are toxic, one-sided relationships. The benefit is just for one person. Too often people claim they are your friends just because they know of you. That’s not how I would define a friend. Friendships are mutually beneficial. They may not benefit each person the same way, but both individuals are enhanced from the experience. I have learned the hard way that quality friendships do not come in large quantities. They are rare and are not something to take for granted. The term friend is not something I use loosely with everyone. The people I call friends are more like family to me. True friendships are full of give and take. I am grateful for the ones I have…I am grateful for my best friend who I get to spend the rest of my life with. 

“You’ve got to hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on… to me!” - Kindred The Family Soul

 

This marriage to my best friend is a joint venture. It is NEVER a 50/50, but it is ALWAYS a team effort. It is something that we both are committed to. This is the second part to the foundation of our marriage. Our marriage is rooted in our shared faith and values. It may seem cliché, but it should not be taken lightly. I have heard some people say it doesn't matter what couples believe if you have love. That's nice on a Hallmark card, but I have yet to see love alone keep a relationship afloat for the long haul. My Sunshine and I didn’t just fall into marriage and things worked out just because we loved each other. We have been working on this relationship for over 20 years. We were working on it long before we were married. We discussed our career aspirations, finances, and children before we tied the knot. We didn't start out on the same page…we moved from compromise to finding a third way…It does not mean it has been easy. Tension has arisen…stayed…and left regarding finances, career, and children. And news flash, sometimes the tension on these topics returns in different ways. We choose (as a unit) to be flexible and adapt how we engage in these topics depending on the reality we are presently facing.

 

We are 19 years in this thing called marriage!!! We have experienced so much…we have found success despite the odds being against us. But no matter what has happened, we have lived it together, helping each other every step of the way. Sadly, in this contemporary world we live in, making it to 19 years in your first marriage is not the norm. But that statistical fact does not deter us, it motivates us. We are confident about making it to 20 years and beyond (if we are still breathing this side of eternity).


To my Sunshine…we are just getting started in this life together! “If you’re a bird, I’m a bird!” Let’s
keep flying!!!

Jet Black…
-Elgrie J.

 

My Belief is Greater than Your Doubt

November 26, 2022

I am not afraid of a good challenge

In February 2018, the Marvel Studios’ film Black Panther came to the big screen. Before the movie came out, I knew I needed to make this an experience for my whole family. So, I requested the latter half of the day off from work. I told my supervisor I would inform my students why I was leaving early. My supervisor and others thought this might give the students a bad impression; to miss class to see a movie. I told them, Black Panther was going to be more than a movie; it was going to be a cultural game changer. When February 2018 arrived, my belief became reality. Black Panther broke box office records and even made its presence at the Oscars. This fictional world of Wakanda gave hope and inspiration to Blacks and non-white people around the world.

Other movies have come out since then that were game changers…Jingle Jangle (2020), Crazy Rich Asians (2018), Encanto (2021), The Woman King (2022), and Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022). For all of these films, each had to overcome the barriers of doubters. Doubters who did not want to fund the projects. Doubters who did not see the relevance and potential impact of the films. Some rationales of the doubters were rooted in the lack of Eurocentric faces portrayed in these films, the intentional inclusion of women as protagonists, and/or wanting to strip away the stories the filmmakers wanted to tell because they didn’t agree with the success they could bring. In each of these situations, many of the doubters probably did not even realize how their biases really spoke to their lack of vision more than the possibility of what could be. Thankfully the belief of the film makers was greater than the doubts of others.

Doubters underestimated us...our kids believed!!!

I am not a filmmaker, but I have had my own share of doubters in my life. People doubted my wife and I’s decision to homeschool our children for elementary school. The haters said our children would be socially awkward and that they would fall behind academically. We knew differently. Our belief in our skillset and commitment was greater than the confidence of others’ doubts. My wife was formally trained to be a teacher, and I had my own successful experiences teaching middle school and high school. Not only did my children strive academically, but they were able to unlock their unique talents that have been part of the foundation of their self-esteem…Some doubted my wife having a home birth. They questioned the medical soundness of the decision. Some even suggested that supporting my wife could lead to the death of my wife and unborn child. The birth of our fourth son was not only one of the smoothest births my wife had, but it also provided us with inspiration to help us support mothers to birth in peace. In 2018, I quit my full-time job to be a full-time adjunct professor. Doubters told me I would have to do it forever and be unable to support my family. I believed more than they doubted. My one year as a full-time adjunct made me the most qualified candidate for a full-time faculty position. Furthermore, as an adjunct, my family was never without…I had more quality time with them than any time period as a parent.

Too often we are waiting for others to be our biggest fans…unfortunately too often they are our biggest doubters. They think they are helping us play it safe. They believe in the long run it will lead to better success for us. The reality is those people who think they are helping often facilitate our lives to an endless series of what-ifs. In turn, it leads us to living a life heavy with shame. The doubters may not know their family lineage, but I know mine! I come from a lineage of courageous people! My maternal grandmother was courageous enough to take on Mississippi that was controlled by Jim Crow. My maternal grandfather was courageous to take on delivering weapons on the front line in WWII with no weapons other than his mind and his body. My father took on a computer industry that often tried to deny him based on his limited formal education, versus his knowledge that was light years ahead of some of his colleagues (and supervisors).

They said I couldn't...this picture says otherwise

I am not afraid to be courageous in the face of doubters. Whether it is my educational pursuits, how I cheer on my wife and my children, or even how I choose to use my skills to build people up (that are frequently left out). I am not afraid to tell my story in its entirety…the good, the bad, the ugly. The entirety of my story can offer people the encouragement to be courageous in their own journey. Find your family’s origin story of being courageous. And if you cannot find one within immediate family lineage, be the genesis of your family’s origins of being courageous! Believe in what you can do, even when others want to be contrary. Your belief can be greater than the doubts of others. Lean on your faith in you and what you were meant to do in society. The doubters are coming. Are you ready to outlast them?

Stay ready! Be well!
- Elgrie J. 

Number One Fan

 

July 31, 2022

For more than two decades my maternal grandmother was my #1 fan. She believed I could do anything or be anything. And she made sure everyone who came in her path knew it too. My first seasonal job while in college was at an affluent shopping mall. When my grandma learned about my interview, she volunteered herself to attend (and I awkwardly and under duress agreed). She got my hourly wages to be higher than what I was willing to accept. She saw my worth even when I didn't. She knew the relationship pitfalls I ended up in before I did. Things changed when she met my Sunshine. The moment she met her she knew what I knew: My Sunshine is the one; my Sunshine is my favorite-favorite. 

For nearly 20 years, my favorite-favorite has been my Sunshine 🌞.  To those unfamiliar with me or this blog, that is the nickname for Althea, my wife. But she's more than any of these titles. For 18+ years my Sunshine has been my #1 fan. It's like the moment she met my grandmother there was a passing of a baton. Like my grandmother, she often sees the Greatness in me that I don't see. She believed in my ability to teach at colleges and complete academic work at the graduate level. I was Dr. Hurd to her when I only saw myself as Elgrie.

And while I am honored to have Sunshine as my #1 fan, I love the privilege to be her biggest fan. I learned early on that as much as she denies it, she's a life-long learner. I love her commitment to continually learn how to love me. She found new interests and figured out what tools she needed to learn and apply what she knew. Whether it is teaching, tutoring, being a doula, birth educator, midwife assistant, or carpenter, she is always learning. I’m here for it! I’m a fan!

I am a fan of the way she loves others…and that starts with our children. She inspired me in how her love translates into her commitment to love each of our children based on their unique ways. She has taught me that all my children can be my favorites. I am a fan of her heart for those in need. While her target audience may be Black people, she is willing to answer the call of someone in need no matter their background. Most surprisingly, I am a fan because you are the model of living in the moment. It's a difficult thing to operate in a world that encourages you to be so focused on what's next you are likely to not focus on the now…18 years into this marriage I don't wanna miss out on the present because I'm dreading the past or hyper focused on the future. Why rush through the present to get to the future. "The future is coming…sooner than you think." Until then, I want to live out every sunrise and sunset with God's gift to me…my Sunshine.


 Everyone deserves to have a #1 fan. We all need reminders of the value we have that we can’t see in ourselves.  To my #1 fan…thank you…I love you. I hope you feel my passion as your #1 fan…EVERYDAY!

 

Happily in love and married,
Elgrie J.

The Worst They Can Say…

 

January 29, 2022

“You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.” - Wayne Gretzky

So many people often push for new year's resolutions. Unless we get the perfect conditions for our resolutions, our resolutions simply remain as wishful thoughts. We do not have to throw in the towel. We have options! My friend/adopted sister, Karla, gave me insight to this years ago. Unfortunately, it took me some time to realize what worked for her could work for me.

Karla went to college and majored in social work. And when she started her professional work, much of her roles were in the education and non-profit sectors. Most of her positions she loved. Most of her positions she was a rock star. Often, the organizations she worked for did not pay her what she was worth. At times, this created a gap between the things she needed/wanted to thrive personally and professionally. But that did not discourage her. Karla understood the power of not being afraid to ask others. Her rationale about asking people was the worst they can say is no. Transportation, entertainment, and even supplies for work were gifted to her because she focused on the best outcome rather than the worse.

Don't assume the answer is NO!

Too often we focus on the negative; we focus on the worst-case scenario when determining if we should consider taking any action. When we do this, we cripple ourselves from opportunities before we even get started. College applicants do this. They do not even apply to a college/university because they figure they have not shot to get in. Wayne Gretzky said, “You miss 100% of the shots you never take.” The worst thing they can say is no. They could also say yes if you take your shot! Embrace positive psychology!

Positive psychology focuses on the aspects of the human experience that help us thrive and accomplish things. Karla may not have explicitly called her efforts positive psychology; her intentions were all the same. In 2018 I wanted to thrive as an educator. I wanted to use more of my talents to create a greater impact. And I knew worrying about the noes I might get did not matter compared to the impact of getting a yes as the response to my inquiries. I reached out to colleges throughout the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex to inquire about opportunities to teach. I asked where I was teaching adjunct and asked to teach more classes. They said yes. I then reached out to a place I had considered attending nearly a decade earlier. They remembered my encounter with them. We met and I discussed my teaching philosophy and my teaching experiences. They said yes, too. One yes paved the way for more people to say yes. On my way to becoming a full-time adjunct faculty there were some nos. I did not think too much for it, because I knew it fostered another opportunity for someone to say yes. Fall 2019 I became a full-time professor of psychology and sociology at a community college because I knew there were more responses that ended in a yes than in a no. I just needed to identify the right opportunities. 

Don't be afraid of the worst. Be prepared the best of  2022...2022 doesn't have to be perfect for success. Say yes to new possibilities! What’s the worst that can happen?!

Be positive!

 Be well!
- Elgrie J.

 

 

Just Pause

 

November 26, 2021

"Drive slow homie!" - The artist formerly known as Kanye West

 

The pandemic has put a lot of our lives on pause. It has sent many of us in two directions. One direction is to re-evaluate our lives and make meaningful changes. The other direction some of us have tried to cling to is to operate like nothing has changed. I am guilty of this, and it has proven to not work. It hasn't worked because things aren't the same. I'm in grad school (again 🙄), teaching face-to-face and online in a pandemic, husband duties, daddy duties, and community obligations. To adjust I took a quasi-break from social media. I didn't post online. I didn't read a whole lot on social media. And to my surprise I didn't miss much. It was a good pause from things.

 

It's OK to pause from things in your
life to get right

That good pause wasn't enough! My pause needed to be more than on social media...I gotta be OK saying no...I gotta be OK focusing on me...focusing on what matters. When I applied to DBU's Ph.D. in Leadership Studies I wrote how I was willing to remove myself from fellowships and not take on a bunch of new obligations. I gotta confess, it is easier said than done. Most of my life I've wrapped my mind around being an overachiever. But, the COVID pandemic became part of my reality, and my mentality of achieving A's in all aspects of my life was now a problem. When your obligations exceed your bandwidth to maintain your overachiever mentality what do you do? You change for success or fail in stagnation. I realized I had to reflect on the lessons of my ancestors and elders for my next steps.

 

I am a descendant of people who did so much with so little. For my ancestors and elders the odds have never been in their favor in the United States. To be Black in the United States is a great paradox. The institutions are made to exclude those who are bequeathed Black bodies. Yet, the will of those in Black bodies combined with some Divine intervention made the impossible possible. So, I gotta do my part. This includes setting better boundaries and adhering to them. It also means when I've done my part to move out the way and let God do the rest. I gotta make room in my circumstances to let God do His Thing. I'm learning to attempt to control less, so He can control more.

 

I'm embracing pressing pause on the things that don't matter in the grand scheme of things. It's a work in progress I cannot neglect. The negative consequences are too severe. Now I understand when you pause from the distractions, you un-pause living! I plan to live in a more meaningful way. That's my plan. What about you?!

Be well!

-       Elgrie J

The Simple Things

July 31, 2021

A public love letter to My Sunshine...

Our story is full of simple things. A simple comment about Black beauty. A simple touch. A simple slice of pizza. I had no idea that a simple exchange in words would help me discover the best friend I've ever had (outside of Jesus).

Maybe my first gift for my Sunshine should have been a foreshadow clue on how some things would play out in our marriage. I created a candygram. That was a big deal for me. It was the first time I had made one! The candygram was full of messages telling you how you were a sweet tart and how I was a zero without you. It was a micro of my expression of love and appreciation...I didn't do grandiose...I did do intentional things from the heart.

17 years into this marriage, I'm still just a simple guy. Just give me my Jesus, my Sunshine, my kids, and some quality root beer and I'm good to go. Yet, somehow you found ways to expand my simplicity. Whether it is you tightening my locs, sharing meals, home schooling our Hurd 3rd Crew, or the peace your random, unexpected hugs bring me. Thank you for the simple discoveries.

Love "Sunday Morning"

In the 17 years of us being married, you took what we started when we courted into one of the greatest gifts of all-time. You showed me to be simply me, no matter who is around. That was/is hard. To be vulnerable to you and the world was/is scary. Prior to meeting you my vulnerability was exploited. You made it my superpower! It helped me at work to connect with people like no one else could...It helped me be a better parent. Showing my kids that their superhero sometimes falls short (and his human) was one of the greatest gifts you have given me (that keeps on giving).

So, is there more for us to do and learn? ABSOLUTELY!!! 17 years in, and we are just getting started! At age 17, we were far from having things figured out. Why would 17 years into a marriage be any different?! I hope we continue to have excitement to do things we have done; travel to places we have never seen. I hope we get to grow in Jesus in ways we never knew we could. And if for some reason all of these things are not part of future chapters of our story, I hope we do as much as we can until our story on this side of infinity ends.

It's the simple things!

I love you more now than I did when we first got married. I’m looking forward to my love for your deepening even more...I’m looking forward to all the little things to come!

"Thank you for this journey, no matter how it ends."

- Elgrie J.

Run it Back!

 June 30, 2021

I’ll never forget December 6, 2019. That was the date on the letter from the university where I was working on my dissertation (virtually). That was when I learned my dissertation chair had given up on me. My university had given up on me. The letter informed me that I was no longer allowed to continue with my doctoral studies. For nearly 6 months I fought the decision. I made phone calls, I sent emails, I submitted appeals. No matter the efforts, the results were the same: my doctoral journey was over. And that fact weighed heavy on me.

Academic failure was not something I had experienced before...not like this. I had to weigh the
consequences of how I wanted to proceed. I already knew that in some Ph.D. programs, over 66% of the students do not finish. As a matter of fact, less than 2% of the 332 million people in the USA have a Ph.D. But what I did not realize was how much I didn't know. I did not know it mattered that your dissertation chair needed to be your biggest fan at the university, or how much power a dissertation chair had on making or breaking your success. I underestimated the red flags encouraging me to find a new program long before my demise came. I let my pride lead my decision to keep pushing even when I felt I was alone in my fight to finish my dissertation. I always tell my kids Hurds don’t quit! And while it can be a great mantra, it can also be a blinder to facilitate an unnecessary loss. For me, it became the latter.

I’m grateful for the persistence I developed
playing hoops with my big brother.

I don't like losing. That desire not to lose started at an early age. In basketball I would lose to my big brother...again, again, and again. I would keep telling him to run it back. I wanted a redo until I won. I didn't always win. But when I did, it was enough to handle the losses...But when people tried to suggest to me to run it back as it related to trying again to get a Ph.D., it was a no-go. I was done! I didn't want to be a number…I didn’t want to be a cash cow for another university. I didn't want to do all the work again with no assurance I was going to have different results. It all boiled down to the fact that I was not sure if I was good enough. I gave my all. I gave up so much and had nothing to show. (To be fair, I walked away with my second master’s. I know for some that’s a victory. But to be nearly two chapters into a dissertation, it was hard to see and accept that victory).

A year after #ProjectDissertation came to an end, thoughts of wanting to finish what I started resurfaced. It also left me in a quandary: With a Ph.D. or without a Ph.D. I can teach at community colleges (my career original goal), so why try again? I got slammed with a lot of different perspectives to that inquiry. A mentor encouraged me not to be overcome by imposter syndrome. My past failures do not determine my potential future success. A friend said, “It's not about you!” He reminded me of some of my reasons that got me started to attempt a Ph.D. program in the first place...I wanted to increase access, so more voices could be heard. I wanted to help coach the leadership of organizations up or help those in leadership roles transition out. My wife was the nail in the coffin. She helped me acknowledge that maybe this was all part of God’s Purpose for my life. Maybe I got it wrong. Maybe I had to lose to get it right. In the end they were ALL right.

 My first day in my journey as part of Cohort XVII

Eventually I stopped moping around and started moving on. After a lot of research, I chose Dallas Baptist University (DBU). I chose DBU because it is different (and better) than my previous university. I found a better support system within the university. A university whose priority is a belief I can actually finish what I started. DBU offered me administrators, a department chair, full-time faculty, a cohort of peers, and alumni who are fully committed. Last, but not least, DBU is a place where I do not need to explain the urgency of my research focusing on Jesus and leadership of Protestant churches. I did not know how much all those things mattered for my success, but they do!

I don't know how this story ends, but I'm gonna run this back! Win or lose...I'm ready to give God (The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit) the glory for the opportunity. I'm all but done! I hope those reading this will find ways to support my efforts. For those who join me, together we WILL run it back!

 

Elgrie J. Hurd, III
- Doctoral Student, Leadership Studies Program,
Gary Cook School of Leadership, Dallas Baptist University

Confessions of Being a Dad

 

January 26, 2021

Dedicated to my first-born who started it all, and my sons who have come after...

 

I absolutely love being a dad. It is one of the things I constantly thank God for on a daily basis. I love my kids. I even like my kids. I know those are no small feats. And in this pandemic, I am learning that my dynamic is not universal.

While I love being a dad, becoming one was one of the most frightening things to consider. A constant battle in my mind was... what if I get wrong? Unfortunately, that is still a daily struggle. Thankfully, doubt seems to be losing each round lately. For me, I seek to be a daddy that is different from the negative stereotypes. Not because it is uncommon, but because it is the right thing to do. I often write these blogs with a focus on my daughters. This time I decided to focus on my sons.

There is so much on the line to get it right as a dad of a son. I want my sons to be free of seeing toxic masculinity modeled by the men in their life (including by me). I want them to know when they see me cry, that is OK, and it does not make them less of a cisgender male. I want them to know it is not a form of weakness to be vulnerable and transparent. I try to be intentional in allowing my sons to see me in these moments and offering commentary because it matters.

It is important for my sons to know that I do make mistakes. I seek to model for them that not only do mistakes happen, but we should find ways to be accountable and learn from them. At the same time, I want my sons to know that effort and discipline are not enough to get the results we desire. I want them to know that we live in a very broken world, full of broken people and unjust policies that often reinforce the brokenness. It is not right; it is not fair; it is reality. Hence, part of the journey for success is navigating with the right awareness and the right support systems. Another part of the journey is finding ways to address the brokenness in a way that benefits others who are denied opportunities.

And with all that I want for them, I know I can be a barrier to things I want for them. In my efforts to protect them from pain I experienced, I forget the positive life-altering things that came with the pain of my past. In an effort to encourage safety, I unintentionally suffocate their dreams and imagination. My hope is that my shortcomings do not cause my sons to become their own dream killers. My mistakes do not have to be their mistakes. In fact, I hope they would do like I did…hold onto the things my dad did/does well and improve on the things he did not.

 

All of the things I have shared in this blog post are important for me to share with my sons. But none of it compares to the importance of their souls. I want my sons to have the opportunity to find peace and glory on the other side of eternity. I want them to know who their Heavenly Father is...what He has done and continues to do for our family. I want them to know (as much that is humanly possible) the depth of Jesus’ love and sacrifice for them. I do not want their understanding to be limited to what they read; I want them to see it in me. I want them to see it in my prayers with them and my actions around them. I want their measuring stick of success to not be defined by me, but by the blueprint Jesus laid out for us. As a dad who seeks to serve Christ, following Jesus is the greatest legacy to my sons. If this legacy is embraced at some level by sons, my parenting to them is not a failure. Only time will tell. Until time reveals the final product, I will continue to pray and love on them relentlessly.

 

Let love rule!
- Elgrie J./Daddy (to my kids)