Imprisonment of a Dream

 

May 31, 2025

Some people tell you to do everything you can to achieve your dream, no matter the costs. I can see why people would push that narrative. It’s about showing your commitment…it’s about your will to sacrifice for the prize. But I have a question: What’s the point if you lose the things that made the dream worth achieving, it really a dream worth holding onto?! I get the privilege to wear many titles. I am a husband, a father, an uncle, a brother, a son, a nephew, a cousin, and a devoted friend. I value the relationships that come with these titles. And if I have to lose them for a dream, then that may not be the dream for me.

Don't let your dream trap you!

Some people are so locked in their pursuits their dream, to achieve it the dream turns into a nightmare. It does not take much debating to suggest people who are incarcerated want to be free…what’s surprising is sometimes people who are free allow their dream to isolate them so much they lose their freedom. Don't let your dream become your nightmare. Don't have tunnel vision that blocks you from the improv necessary to keep your dream alive. Don't dismiss the lifelines to your dream that appear in unorthodox ways. To dream big often requires using tools and perspectives you couldn't imagine because you were dreaming too small!

On a 2025 The Pivot podcast episode featuring Anthony Mackie the conversation moved to the topic of individual success. Anthony Mackie talked about people who are successful are often chosen…it’s not just necessarily their skills. Another interview on The Pivot podcast, they interviewed the musician Jelly Roll. The lead host is a former NFL player. He said that he was not the most talented football player and a lot of people who were more talented but succumbed to the temptations of the world. If you do not succumb to the world and the world gets to see your talents, remember you are chosen. That means use your talents, don’t waste them. That also means, don’t be selfish with your talents. You get to unlock more of your dream when you find ways to help others discover and develop theirs.

See your incomplete dream differently!

Some of you all reading this cannot relate to the idea of your dream becoming a reality. All my dreams never came  true. And there’s a good chance some of my dreams will remain an eternal dream status. This does not mean you got it all wrong. Sometimes you choose life over dreams. Sometimes you choose a purpose that outshines your dream idea even on the cloudiest days. You gotta remember that   you don't need to be imprisoned by what your dream did   not become…celebrate aspects of your dream that were not deferred. Build on what has manifested into reality and   reclaim what was deferred on your terms! Relax! Take a deep breath! Don't worry…you got this!!!

Your Dream Fan,
Elgrie J. Hurd III

Don't Look Back

 

February 28, 2025

There's a historical story of a man named Lot. He and his wife were told not to look back as they were being rescued from violence. Unfortunately, Lot's wife looked back. When she did, she was turned into a pillar of salt. There's a painful lesson there. Sometimes, looking back at where you come from does more harm than good.

Move forward; look forward

Earlier today, I spoke to some colleagues about how to navigate the hidden culture of the higher education industry. I told them, you gotta be willing to make yourself uncomfortable and do things you aren't used to doing. I got a lot of head nods, which is always encouraging. My hope is that all attendees will move to the next step and not be like so many others.

I'm over the people who keep recycling the following idea: I want things to be different [but they don't change anything]. They don't really wanna change. They want better results with old strategies. Too many people refuse to acknowledge an important truth: we like the idea of change but not the process to make it last. We want to remain in a state of comfort even when we need to accept being uncomfortable to get the results we want.

In February 2019 I wrote a blog post ( I’m Not Afraid of the Hustle). Growing up where I did, I had to learn to work smarter. Hard work does not guarantee anything because the rules for success keep changing. There's a podcast called The Pivot. The podcast has had several guests that have been interviewed, so that the audience (and the hosts) get details of the journey that has led to their guest's success. The last question they ask their guest is about a pivot in their life that was a game changer. This thought process has value beyond the podcast.

Pivoting isn't a one-time thing…if you want lasting success, your pivoting effort must be on-going. The change you want ain't for everybody! Some of you reading this need to know your biggest barrier is YOU! Life and/or circumstances have beaten you down to the point you believe your possibilities are indefinite impossibilities. For some of you, you must deal with the haters who don't wanna see you do well. Often those haters are people you admire and are part of your inner circle. Regardless of which one is your biggest barrier, you need to break free. You gotta move that barrier from your presentation to your past. 

There's a time and place to look back. When you have emerged out of the storm and you are thriving, then it's OK to consider looking where you came from. (If you gotta question if you are ready to look back, you ain’t ready!) But, when doubt and fear are leading the charge, put their sounds on mute! Don't look back! Keep your eyes on the prize that's in front of you!

Be well!
- Elgrie J.

Look How Far You've Come

 October 31, 2024

 Sometimes we normalize our reality. Some of us dismiss the fact that we were not always where we (currently) are. We often forget how far we have come. Unfortunately, when we do this, we miss an opportunity to build our confidence and understand our impact on the world. It also stops us from dreaming. When we accomplish a goal or live out a dream, we are giving ourselves permission to dream again. We are giving ourselves permission to create new goals.

There was a time when my 1st-born didn't believe in his running abilities. No one other than his dad was speaking to his ability. Eventually, a few coaches took notice. However, his belief was not aligned with theirs. He was stuck in where he started versus where he actually was. My son ran cross country all four years of high school. When he started 4 years ago, his team was not a team…they were individuals who were wearing the same uniform. This year was different. This year my son and his teammates were reflective. They didn't dwell on what they hadn't done. They celebrated where they come from. They lived in the moment. This approach carried into almost every race they had. And while their season didn't end the way they wanted, their appreciation of where they came and what they accomplished can never be taken from them. They created a new culture that has the potential to be part of the legacy they leave behind.

I am so excited about where I am in my life! I am so excited about what I get to do for my family and my community. My excitement is rooted in refusing to let my “what ifs” steal the excitement and peace of mind of what is going on in the here and now! Every setback and every lesson have built the foundation I need to thrive in the now. I needed doors shut on me…I needed disruptions and interference that were thrown my way…These experiences gave me humility and gratitude that were essential to personal and professional growth.

In the not-too-distant past, I got to take in how far I’ve come in a way I have never done before. I have always been a fan of Dr. Michael Eric Dyson. From the way that he writes, to the way he speaks, I have been inspired. My early research interests were supported by the writings of Dr. Dyson. When I was working on my master’s at San Jose State University, my research was focused on Hip-Hop. I was examining the good, the bad, and the ugly of Hip-Hop culture. Hip-Hop has been part of my cultural experience long before I had words to describe it. And in graduate school, I wanted to do my part to offer deeper insight into the complexities of Hip-Hop. My research led me to analyze the complexities of Tupac Shakur. There was a lot written about Tupac and Hip-Hop that I used for references. Nothing was as influential to me as the works of Dr. Dyson.

As a graduate student, I often could not afford a lot of the books I needed. Thankfully, I went to a university that had an awesome library. One of the books they had was Dyson’s Holler If You Hear Me (2001). I would spend nights reading and re-reading it…I would make notes in my 3” x 5” pocket memo pad that I still had from my undergraduate studies. Because the book was not mine, I wanted to make sure I made exhaustive notes. I wrote down direct quotes, page numbers, and my own commentary. I took so many notes, I almost ran out of space in my memo pad. I remember wishing I owed the book, so I could engage with the text like I had with books I owed. I did not know when, but I knew one day that would change.

That was 2005-2006. Now it is 2024. It is mind-blowing how far I have come! While I do not buy every book that could offer insight, I have more books with my handwritten responses than I did back at San Jose State. I have had the chance to review numerous textbooks and even get recognition by the authors in a few of them. There was a time when I just wanted people to give me a shot in academia. Now, I get the privilege to be requested as a subject matter expert. I have the honor to stay in touch with many of those who have mentored me. They have gotten a chance to see me mature. I have also been able to offer sage to those who are already full of so much wisdom. I thank them constantly for how they have blessed me. I see the value in full-circle moments, and I attempt to identify them as often as I can.

October 25, 2024, gave me another chance to have a full-circle moment. I was invited to attend a dinner where Dr. Michael Eric Dyson was being honored for his literary works. I brought two of my Dyson books and a pen with the hopes I could get an autograph. I arrived when he arrived; I parked as he was parking. We walked into the venue at the same time. He said good evening, and I could not say a word…I was too overwhelmed to say anything. Then, for a brief moment after the ceremony, he was alone. I thanked him for his writings. I told him that I wrote my master’s project on Tupac Shakur. I told him that his writings helped me share my thoughts on Tupac. I told him my occupation and he told me he was proud of the work I was doing. We took pictures. He signed my books, and we took more pictures. If you told me in 2006, I would be taking pictures with Dr. Michael Eric Dyson like we were besties, I would have never believed you. But it happened…it is an experience I’ll never forget.

Today is possible because of yesterday. Tomorrow is possible because of today. We often make the mistake of not remembering our personal and/or professional evolution. We manifest our goals more than we don't. It has been said that you need 5 positive comments to balance out one negative comment. For everything in your life you view as a failure, there are at least 5 things you have accomplished. My 2004 paved the way for my 2024. In those 20 years, there's more to celebrate than to dwell on. My belief is that is also true for you. If you look at how far you have come, I believe you should consider a celebration dance. Until then, I'm doing it for you!

 

Be well!
-Professor Elgrie J. Hurd, III

Don't Hold Back

June 30, 2024

It is a privilege to be a girl dad! Before I had my own daughter, I had been given the honor of being a godfather to 3 daughters. So now, I'm a father of 4 daughters! What a blessing! The blessings don't stop there. Now two are on their way to college. I couldn't be prouder!
As they begin their next part of their journey in higher education, I think of the book that I received when I graduated with my bachelor's degree. The title of the book was Oh the Places You'll Go! by Dr. Seuss. For those who may not be familiar with the book, it's the story that offers pearls of wisdom for those entering adulthood. The book stresses perseverance over difficult situations and keeping your head high even when all hope seems lost. For years I would give this book to mentees who finished high school or college. To be clear, I am no Dr. Seuss when it comes to writing! Regardless, I still wanted to offer a personalized message to my goddaughters and anyone else who could benefit from a motivational push. So, I offer those who are reading this blog three tips that may be helpful…

Tip #1: Don't let the trauma of those who came before automatically become yours.
The people who came before you have a story but it doesn't have to be your story. People that came before you have had their own setbacks and their own barriers. For many, their barriers become trauma they have not sought healing from. And those barriers/traumas often serve as detractors for them to reclaim their dreams for them to dream. With inability to dream, they may struggle to be your cheerleader. Their trauma strips them of hope; strips them of the possibility of another way for their story to continue. This does not have to be your story! Don't let someone's nightmare destroy your dreams of what may be. Defend your dreams!!! Resist the idea that the trauma of others must become yours to honor them. Free yourself from that logic! Be your biggest cheerleader because no one can walk your journey but you. Remember, your future is not determined by the trauma of all those who came before you.

Tip #2: Don't let the fear of a loved one imprison you from doing things their fear cannot imagine.
When you are the first to do something, it can seem impossible to others. Whether you're the first person you're going to attend college (and graduate), first to get married, first to have a family…the first to play a sport, the first to study abroad…the first to be an entrepreneur, or maybe the first in your family to be a professional artist. Whatever your first might be, fear will always be one of your enemies. When fear tries to set in, you gotta be courageous to not let fear control the outcome. I know what it's like to do things first in the family. It might seem scary; in the end it’s worth it! Take a chance! Take a leap of faith like I have on numerous occasions and know that your loved one's lack of imagination doesn't have to be the shackles that make you stagnant. Snatch the key from fear and free yourself! Live life to its fullest!

Tip #3: Find your home (away from home)!
As one of my goddaughters and other mentees were trying to determine which university to attend, I asked them, “which university makes you not wanna leave?” I went on to tell them that for me, Cal Poly Pomona University was my home away from home. I stressed the idea that wherever they go, it needs to feel like home. So, whatever you're trying to do, whether it's college, considering relocating to another part of the country, or just trying to live your best life, surround yourself with a foundation of people and opportunities that make you feel like home; that makes you feel safe. A place that allows you to be vulnerable and protected at the same time. This requires finding a space that aligns with your values and your faith. Home may look different for different people. But when you find home, it begins on a journey toward you having freedom on this side of eternity.

As I conclude this blog post, it makes me think of Marianne Williamson’s short poem, “Our Deepest Fear.”

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us.

We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small
Does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine,
As children do.
We were born to make manifest
The glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us;
It's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we're liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

I love the poem written by Marianne Williamson. I love it because a lot of us fear being greater than we can imagine. With that greatness comes the responsibility not to hide it. And that responsibility can seem daunting. People will criticize how well you use/don’t use your greatness…people will reach out for self-serving reasons…and some people will walk away from having a relationship with you because they doubt that they too have greatness within them.   Do not hide your light because the world might get more challenging. Take a lesson from Marianne Williamson: You've only got one life to live, so don't hold back! Greatness awaits!!!

Your digital cheerleader for your greatest success!
-Elgrie J. 

***Blog post update: As of July 2024, now I have a new (newborn) goddaughter to look after. The daughter count is now 5!

Do it for You

March 29, 2024

Going to school and doing well in school wasn't originally for me. I did it for my eldest sister. I learned how to read for her. When she died, I wanted to mimic the light she shined for the world…I wanted to bring joy like she did. But that only takes you so far…I pursued a pre-med option for college to honor my sister. So, I signed up for all the hardest science classes in high school. I even signed up for extra classes. But then, I struggled to stay motivated…I tried prepping to major in engineering for my dad...but that didn't work. I wasn't motivated to continue. External motivation can be a starting point. However, I came to learn that without internal motivation, doing things on behalf of others is not enough.

When it comes to sports, I love basketball and soccer. In high school my love for these sports didn't match my talent nor opportunity. Fortunately, I did have other avenues. I needed a mix of opportunity and passion. This mixture helped me thrive in wrestling and distance running…And it was then I realized the lane I found was not the lane I expected, but it was a lane for me…That was internally motivating. It pushed me to do more than the bare minimum; I was inspired to do more. I did it for me…even if others didn’t get it. Fast forward to my adulting days. As a parent I've seen all four of my biological children figure this out in their own unique way…For this blog I wanna focus on how my daughter is embracing this idea.

This month is Women's Herstory Month…On March 24th I witnessed my daughter’s efforts to define her story come full circle! Most of my kids don't put in a request to play sports. When they don't give me ideas, they get assigned to track & field…A few years ago my daughter decided she was ready to create her own path for sports. She left track; she chose roller derby. I'm excited about her decision. I'm even excited about her challenges. She experienced the challenges of finding a team. Apparently, teenage (junior) roller derby teams are hard to come by, depending on where you live. She had to learn the sport and improve her skating skills. She had to wrestle with the growing pains of being coached, breaking bones (literally), and even becoming a true teammate. Through it all, she has not been deterred for long; she has kept pushing because it was what she wanted. She knew if she didn't lead the effort, it wasn't going to happen. And now, her internal drive has become infectious! Now I'm internally motivated to support her endeavor…it's personal! I have internal AND external value in all she does for roller derby…I'm motivated to be one of her biggest fans. I love she has given me new reasons to be a proud #GirlDad. 

Inspiration from others only gets you so far. If you've got no buy-in for what you do, it is bound not to last. Every action you do should be tied to motivation that matters to you. It doesn't matter how it starts; it matters how you develop it. Sometimes the motivation starts off simply because it needs to get done. Other times it starts off as a need to reach an accomplishment. Remember, extrinsic motivation can turn into intrinsic motivation. Your motivational opportunities are waiting for you! Go get them! Do it for you!!!

 

-Elgrie J.
#GirlDad

What You Don't See

February 28, 2024

 “...But what they don't know is when you go home
And get behind closed doors, man you hit the floor
And what they can't see is you're on your knees
So the next time you get it, just tell 'em
It's the God in me…”  - Mary Mary

 

The top athletes spend countless hours prepping for the greatness we see

People see athletes like Patrick Maholmes, Simone Biles, Sarina Williams, and Steph Curry in their elements. To the casual fan, these athletes make what they do in their sport look easy. But that's far from the truth. Perception isn't always reality. I'm not a professional athlete…but I understand that without the work that you don't see, these unique athletic talents do not blow audiences away. I love the song by the Gospel duo Mary Mary called "God in Me” (2008) because their song fits the story of the athletes I have mentioned. But the application doesn't stop there. Anyone who is successful, it is the behind the scenes work that got them there. Success that we see in others is just the tip of the iceberg. The real work is often hidden.

I recently got a compliment about the work I do as a professor and the work I do when it comes to putting on educational workshops. What many people don't know is that I take my work very seriously. The concept of educating is not just a job to me. I am very intentional about trying to be the best version I can be in the classroom and as a consultant. So that means I am not afraid of putting in work. I am almost always looking at ways in which I can teach that will engage students better…I'm looking for feedback from my students and trying to implement their suggestions before the course ends. I am constantly dissecting the growth areas my students/supervisors/trust colleagues are identifying in how I facilitate my classes…

The prep work before the show is a puzzle I welcome! 

…I strive to be a forward thinker. I research the latest fads and the controversial topics (that are likely to not disappear) to be able to demonstrate to my students how what we're talking about in class is relevant beyond the classroom. I am trying to look at what are the best practices of consultants. I wanna know what helps them be successful. I wanna know what helps other consultants increase their referrals and increase their impact…I am not just simply teaching. I am trying to become a master of my craft when I'm not in the classroom. At home (when I am not resting), I am thinking of ways to make what I do to be the best version of me. My foundation of being the best version of me is attempting to answer how do I shrink the gap of what is polarizing to become small enough to create a safe environment for meaningful conversation and action. To me, no matter what compliments are sent my way, I feel there's a large space between where I am and where I want to be.

What I do isn't easy. It requires a level of commitment. It requires a level of reflection, and it requires a very, very focused intentionality in the things that I do. And I love every single aspect of it! Every single aspect of what I do behind the scenes allows me to do what I do in the classroom and as a consultant. I wouldn't trade it for the world. To me, it's all part of the process. And I'm here for it!!! I ain’t afraid of the hustle…I ain’t afraid of hard work that no one sees because I know the fruit the work yields.

It's important that I offer a warning to what I have written thus far. Just because you make something a priority in your life, does not mean you are gonna get the results you want when you want them. And it's not necessarily because you're not trying hard enough. My hope is that your behind-the-scenes commitment gets the results that you're looking for. And if you don't get the results that you're looking for, my hope is that you know you gave every ounce of blood, sweat, and tears. My hope is your focus and strategies were optimized to the best of your abilities. And if you do all of this, no one can say you didn't give it all. But I'm an eternal optimist…Become your own alchemist for success! Find the right formula for your dedication, timing, and resources. When you finally get those results, all that hard work will make the victory that much sweeter. So, go get it!

Elgrie J.
- A fan of your behind-the-scenes work and your life success

A Different Perspective

 January 29, 2024

 

To run well, mindset AND perspective matter!!!

Sometime in the recent past I traveled to Southern California…I decided to go for a run at the suggestion of a friend. In transparency I wasn't motivated to run. Every trip I go I pack my running shoes. But lately, my running shoes tend to stay in my bag more often than they are taken out to run. I've been living scared. I'm running from the fear that I can't be the runner I wanna be. But, right before running I had told someone you only need a little faith to conquer a lot of doubt. So, I put my shoes on, switched to running glasses and took off…

…as I ran it was hard. I was thinking - Kid, you outta shape! But that wasn't enough to stop. It wasn't quitting time; it was time to quit listening to the negative. So, I kept running. My running time for the 1st mile was OK. My 2nd mile was trash…near the end of the 2nd mile I got a new perspective…the reason the running was initially so hard was because I was running uphill and didn't even know it. From this new perspective I could see the steepness I took on. It was HELLA steep!

When you get a different perspective from where you started you often get to see things you missed. You may be able to have better strategies and more confidence to finish what you started. In my 3rd mile of the run, I was re-energized and excited. I felt sanguine about the possibility of running faster than I had…the finish line didn't feel as far.

Your current perspective may make your goals seem impossible or improbable. That does not mean how it's gonna end up. If the perspective you are using isn't helping get traction on the situation, find another perspective. Sometimes it is in the form of listening to someone who has sage and is not in your situation...other times it may require you literally moving to another physical location to get the insight you need. (And you might have to move more than once.) What you have to lose is

Perspective matters to see the BIG picture

NOT the question to ask…the better question is what are the possibilities of what can be gained from a different perspective.

It's 2024. Maybe what you wanted to do in 2023 wasn't meant to remain out of your reach. Perhaps you just need to find a different perspective…Victory may be more realistic than you think. Just stay willing to pursue the idea of shifting your perspective for insight you are searching for.

 

Be well! I hope you have a life-altering 2024!
- Elgrie J., former (for now) competitive 5k runner

I Gotta Write My Way Out…

December 27, 2023
 

“Y'all, I caught my first beatin' from the other kids when I was caught readin'
"Oh, you think you smart?"—Blaow!—start bleedin'
My pops tried in vain to get me to fight back
Sister tapped my brains, said, "Pssh—you'll get 'em right back."
Oversensitive, defenseless, I made sense of it, I pencil in
The lengths to which I'd go to learn my strengths and knock 'em senseless
These sentences are endless, so what if they leave me friendless?
"Damn, you got no chill," f*****' right—I'm relentless
I know Abuela's never really gonna win the lottery
So it's up to me to draw blood with this pen, hit an artery
This Puerto Rican's brains are leakin' through the speakers
And if he can be the shinin' beacon this side of the G.W.B and
Shine a light when it's gray out?”
-Lin Manuel-Miranda from “I Wrote My Way Out”

The original Hamilton musical was something I enjoyed when I experienced it. The follow up to the Broadway smash was the remix album featuring various popular Hip-Hop, R&B, and Pop artists. My favorite song is the 2nd track featuring Nas, Aloe Blacc, Dave East, and Lin-Manuel Miranda. I love everything about this remix song. As a kid who was bullied by bullies and poverty long before my mouth found the volume to be loud enough to express what was in my heart, I found my voice in writing.

For some time now, lots of people have been asking me when I am gonna be done with my dissertation. There are so many responses in my head to these inquiries. And I've come to accept that the best response I can give is by writing it out. My short answer is it will be done when it gets done. The long answer is I'll finish when opportunity, support, and my writing find a compromise. Successful dissertations require having committee members to have your back as a doctoral student. It requires making edits in your writing that the faculty want to fit their definition of doctoral research and analysis. This expectation varies from committee to committee. But, no matter who is part of my committee, I gotta remember, I'm a writer. No dissertation committee can take that away from me.

All my life writing has been my refuge…

• Short stories
• Poems
• Narrative essays
• Analyzing the world we live in and the world that once was…
• Even when I became a parent, my short stories became my bedtime stories for my children…

There was a time before I started this 2nd attempt at a doctoral program, I did not think my writing was good enough. Writing blogs and poetry is one thing, but can my writing get me through a dissertation?! At first, I made the mistake of looking for validation during my academic journey from current my doctoral program…I listened to the hysteria of some classmates and their best practices of those who have finished their dissertation, and tried to become a student I thought I had to be…I was too busy trying to write in a way that put my voice on mute. Class after class, I felt hollow…I was giving a writing version of myself I thought my doctoral program expected. And semester after semester I felt like I was missing the mark on my writing assignments.

It took nearly 3 summers into my program at Dallas Baptist University (DBU) to learn about the value of my style of writing in traditional academia…it will not get me the highest grades; it will get me the highest level of tranquility and peace. I need that! That is more valuable than an A…sometimes being me will give an A, other times it won’t, but no matter what my writing will be my ticket to completing my work at DBU.

I must keep writing…but I cannot make the mistake that makes it OK in my mind to justify my desire to slack off from other obligations to focus on writing.  My world should not revolve around my dissertation. My responsibilities don't stop…

-       My dad duties don’t stop
-       Taking care of my health does not stop
-       Being a husband does not stop
-       Teaching full-time does not stop
-       My faith walk does not stop

Finally, I must remember doctoral writing requires LOTS of practice to be an expert. A work year is 2,080 hours…to be great at something, you need at least 10,000 hours…that's nearly 5 full-time working years…so…I won't be a doctoral writing expert when I finish this dissertation. But I believe my writing will be enough to confer my Ph.D. in Leadership Studies from DBU. Don't let the opinions of others get in the way of what you were called to do. Don’t underestimate the importance of surrounding yourself with people who value your gifts. And don’t let self-doubts consume your dreams. If you have a story to tell, tell your story! And if writing is a medium that has empowered you, write
your way out!

Write away!
- Elgrie J

You Against You

 

November 26, 2023

“See that guy staring back at you…That’s your toughest opponent.” – Rocky Balboa (from the film Creed)

Don't let others define your legacy/purpose

All of us want to matter to someone beyond ourselves. For some people, one person is enough…for others, some want to matter to the entire world. We all have different reasons for this desire. I believe it is the foundation of the human experience to have purpose. Jeremiah 29:11 states “…for I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future…”

I think we all have a unique purpose. As a child, I wanted a purpose, and I had no idea how to find it. Because I did not know my purpose, I grew thinking I had to prove myself every step of the way because…

• I was the smallest
• Or the younger sibling of…
• Or the only Black kid
• The first-generation college student
• The kid from poverty
• The charity case of kid who survived more than I am willing to put on into digital words

Thankfully, by the time I got to college, I began to find pieces of my purpose. While I did have it all together by the time I finished college, I kept getting closer. After relocating to Texas and experiencing my 2^nd toxic work environment I finally began to recognize I had more say on my purpose than I thought. The things I was able to control were more impactful on my purpose (not my reality/situation) than I realized. Whether it’s my health, my parenting skills, my husband skills, relationships with others, or my journey in academics…there are many battles. The greatest battle is me against me!!! To win, I gotta move myself out of the way. I need to move my doubt and past failures out of the way. The main character of Creed (2015) had to do the same thing, move outta our own way!

I love the movie Creed (2015). It is a boxing version of my origin story in many ways…Adonis (Johnson) Creed never met his biological father. He was born out of an affair his father had with his mother, while his father was married to someone else. Coming into adulthood, Adonis Creed wanted to prove he wasn’t a mistake. He wasn’t a mistake!!! The only way to prove that was to get out of his own way. He had to move his doubt…he had to move his disbelief out of his own way.

Your Toughest Opponent: You!

At times I have felt like I was a mistake. And that was the lie that tried to hijack my purpose. No matter your story, you are NOT a mistake. Your greatness is not determined by where you came from; it is based on how determined you are to get where you are going. In the film, Creed did not win the boxing title. He lost the fight, but he won. He won because he found himself. Sometimes the gold at the end of the rainbow is the treasure we need, not what we want…it may be what is needed to get started. What parts of you are in your way? Name them! Create a plan to move each of them out of your way. Once they are gone…your journey becomes clearer. So, remember, “it’s you against you!”

 

Be well!
- Elgrie J.

I Must Have Forgotten…

 

September 29, 2023

Hip Hop is an influential force in shaping cultures throughout the world. 2023 marks the 50th anniversary of Hip Hop culture. If you were born after the 1990s and/or not familiar with Hip Hop, it's more than music. Some of the most agreed upon elements of Hip Hop are deejaying, rapping, breakdancing, graffiti, knowledge, and fashion. And if you are from the San Francisco Bay Area, your contributions to Hip Hop are often overlooked by the world and by Hip Hop. I recently came across an article by NPR describing the connection of the Bay Area and Hip Hop. (NRP’s article on Hip Hop and the Bay Area.) Reading this article reminded me I must have forgotten some things.

 

It hurts to forget the things that matter!

There's a sweet spot that you strive for in this situation. You want recognition and you also wanna offer a nod to those who paved the way for you. Sometimes it is easy to forget your backstory. Maybe you forget because you don’t think you need it anymore…maybe you wanna forget because you are tired of the hurt from your past…When you forget sometimes it can hinder future success because you dismiss what generated your success in the first place.

In February 2019 I wrote a blog post about being in the thick of my journey to become a full-time faculty member at a community college. I mentioned how growing up in the San Francisco Bay Area made me embrace hustling to reach my goals. Here we are nearly 5 years later since that post, and I have hit a situation that I did not expect. I often talk about being proud of being from eastern Menlo Park. But lately I have forgotten where I come from.

When I say I forgot where I came from it doesn't mean the literal location; I am referring to the lessons and experiences of my past. ALL of my past shaped me. My past has fueled me in a way that made any discomfort that came with the journey worth it. Success is coming my way in ways I could not have imagined. And recently, I forgot what got me here. What got me here was operating on faith, working hard, loving hard, not living for success, and being unapologetically me. Lately, working hard has been the lone element that has remained. In addition, I discovered that challenges and problems don't necessarily disappear with success. Sometimes, new problems appear, and some old problems don’t go away.

I forgot how not focusing solely on the goal gave me energy (and drive) to do things most people were not able to do. Before this recent setback I was still parenting full-throttle, I was still being attentive to my fitness, and I was still seeking to be a hopeless romantic to my best friend that I get to spend the rest of my life with. My journey was not solo, yet I kept convincing myself it was. This made it easy to forget WHO my source is. The film Coach Carter (2005) has a scene where Coach Carter (who is played by the great Samuel L. Jackson) ties his shoes in front of his players and then says, "I did that!" He continued to be over the top in his communication at practice. He wanted the players to know they (as individuals) were not the source of their success. He wanted them to get their minds right. I needed to adjust my mindset and shrink my ego. I didn't achieve success alone. I was provided with people and resources from The Source who is greater than all of us. Now I'm not back where I need to be, but I'm back on track to get there.

Write down reminders of who you are!

I think everyone should strive to reach their goals. I think being focused has value…I think being disciplined so you can accomplish something has value. But living for success ain’t living. Success is only a piece of life. Just because I must have forgotten, does not mean you have to experience my lessons from the school of hard knocks to have the same epiphany. Don't forget where you come from. Don’t shy away from your story that made you who you are. Being authentically you is what has pushed you where you are. Stay true to you! "Remember who you are!"

 

Be well and let your uniqueness shine!
-Elgrie J.

Thank You

August 30, 2023

 

I have read stories about people who found success despite those who wrote them off…despite people denying them success. There are some stories that I can relate to…

•  Tom Brady is a 6-time Super Bowl Champion and was not even a 1^st round draft pick. Brady was drafted as the 199th pick in the 6th round of NFL draft
• Draymond Green was drafted 35th in the 2nd round. He became a 4-time NBA Champion and a Defensive Player of the Year
• Jennifer Hudson was told no on th
  e American Idol show, only to become an Oscar ® award winner
• Oprah Winfrey faced economic hardship and sexual abuse in her early life to become s global icon and entrepreneur
• In 2014, at age 17, Malala Yousafzai from Pakistan became the youngest Nobel Peace Prize winner in defiance of the Taliban 

7 years ago, I read Psalm 23 every day for 2 years. I did not know how much it would help in my journey as a traveling professor. In August 2018, I quit my full-time job and took a chance. For the next 12 months I learned how to be vulnerable and lean on others. For 12 months I had no full-time job, an increasing amount of bills, and acceptance that my family's needs superseded my ego. Whether it was utilizing local food pantries or even being hired at a local Wal-Mart for an early morning shift. Psalm 23 was manifesting before my eyes.

 

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. (Psalms 23:1 NIV)

My family and I may not have had everything we wanted during those 12 months, but we had everything we needed. I believed I could be a community college faculty member that local colleges needed if I was just given a chance. I was given just that. I served as an adjunct professor for numerous college systems (teaching 9+ classes per semester) throughout the Central North Texas area. My goal was to improve my qualifications to be a viable full-time faculty member.

 

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. (Psalm 23:4)

During that time, I underestimated how people would be barriers to my professional goals. I encountered so many naysayers that at times I thought I was walking in "the shadow of death." My doubt grew when the talent I knew I had was not recognized by some of the places I was hired as a part-time employee. Some college systems even passed on giving me an opportunity at all.

For some people, all of these obstacles would be discouraging. That was not the story for me for two reasons. First, I believed God called me for this opportunity. I had a specific prayer every semester of how many classes for this adventure to work financially. Each semester God delivered (and then some). Second, I remembered what I had learned a few years ago…the book The Art of War points out how your enemies can be the key to victory. They can help you identify the pitfalls in your own strategies that can be used against you. I sought to address those pitfalls; implementing solutions to remove "no" from being a possible answer. Below were some of the reasons they said I could not teach full-time at a community college:

• We can't hire you because you have not been teaching long enough
• You don't teach a variety of classes
• You're too young
• Teaching in the K-12 public school system is not relevant teaching experience to teaching postsecondary (college level) education

These reasons for people to say no to me were my unique traits I saw as valuable contributions in the classroom. So, I took every potential excuse made by employers and gatekeepers to deny me and used them. I proved my unique traits did not make me undesirable; they made me an unicorn in higher education.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. (Psalm 23:5)

I often felt Psalm 23:5 was limited to when people die. My experience 5 years ago was an example that sometimes it happens on this side of eternity.

• People prayed for me.
• They offered me opportunities to work
• Offered me meals
• Offered me mentoring
• Offered me a listening ear

All these gifts comforted me when I felt alone…All these gifts built my confidence that I was on the right track…All these gifts strengthened my faith that my prayers were being heard!

 

In August 2019 I officially became a full-time faculty member at a community college. So, thank you to all those who said no to me (whatever their reasons). Thank you to all my enemies! Thank you to all my enemies who didn't even know they were my enemies. Your resistance powered my persistence. My determination was bigger than your ability to say no. My faith in God-The Father was bigger than your doubt in me. As Derek Luke said in Antwone Fisher (2002), “I'm still standing! I'm still strong!!!" And I would not have known any of this without my enemies' willingness to attempt to block my success. THANK YOU!!!

This is faith over doubt manifested!

 
Ye [formerly known as Kanye West] said:
“Now I could let these dream killers kill my self-esteem…
Or use my arrogance as the steam to power my dreams.
I use it as my gas, so they say that I'm gassed,
But without it I'd be last, so I ought to laugh"
Don't let the haters tear you down. Let the haters’ hateration be the fuel to #EnvisionYourSuccess and allow you to say, "Thank you" to them!

#ProjectTheCure continues!!! #ProjectDissertation continues!!!
Dream Big!!!

- Elgrie J./Professor Hurd

Professor Hurd believes in Empathy versus Hateration 

Embrace Your Story

 December 23, 2022

Don't be discouraged by detours in your story

Don't compare your story…don't belittle the impact of your story…an informal mentor once asked me to ask people I knew how I had affected their lives. A few people never responded…but there were a lot who did. O.M.G! The responses were not what I expected. I didn't know my story was worthy of celebration.

For me, how I felt about my cancer story was about how I felt my entire life story thus far. I did not think that my cancer story was worthy of celebration. To me, it wasn't a real cancer story because my cancer treatment was not intense or as long as others. But that's not how cancer works. If you have/had cancer, you have a cancer story. The same is true about the success you experience in life. Just because you don't win an Oscar, the World Cup, a Grammy, MVP, the Nobel Peace Prize, or the Pulitzer Prize doesn't mean the value of your success is limited to you.

Your story might be full of detours. That does not stop your story from being worthy of telling…worthy of embracing. Social media is a thorn in our self-worth…we see people portray their best selves, but not their struggles…not their flaws or moments of no self-esteem…Social media promotes instant responses…We often process that as instant results, or that our results should be identical to others…but you ain't them…you don't live their story and you don't need to. Acknowledge the fact that your story will have the ability to connect to others, even if you are not sure how it will happen.

Make time to record your story!

Don't walk into 2023 trying to create a story that you think people are expecting of you! You need to treat yourself better! The world needs you…and all that you perceive as baggage! Use it! Use it all to remind yourself of where you came from. Use it to remind yourself your story is not done yet. And when you all do all these things to embrace your story, you will be surprised by how many others you have inspired along the way. So, keep trucking and keep a written record of your journey because your story is worth more than you think!

 Be well!
-Elgrie J. Hurd III

My Belief is Greater than Your Doubt

November 26, 2022

I am not afraid of a good challenge

In February 2018, the Marvel Studios’ film Black Panther came to the big screen. Before the movie came out, I knew I needed to make this an experience for my whole family. So, I requested the latter half of the day off from work. I told my supervisor I would inform my students why I was leaving early. My supervisor and others thought this might give the students a bad impression; to miss class to see a movie. I told them, Black Panther was going to be more than a movie; it was going to be a cultural game changer. When February 2018 arrived, my belief became reality. Black Panther broke box office records and even made its presence at the Oscars. This fictional world of Wakanda gave hope and inspiration to Blacks and non-white people around the world.

Other movies have come out since then that were game changers…Jingle Jangle (2020), Crazy Rich Asians (2018), Encanto (2021), The Woman King (2022), and Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022). For all of these films, each had to overcome the barriers of doubters. Doubters who did not want to fund the projects. Doubters who did not see the relevance and potential impact of the films. Some rationales of the doubters were rooted in the lack of Eurocentric faces portrayed in these films, the intentional inclusion of women as protagonists, and/or wanting to strip away the stories the filmmakers wanted to tell because they didn’t agree with the success they could bring. In each of these situations, many of the doubters probably did not even realize how their biases really spoke to their lack of vision more than the possibility of what could be. Thankfully the belief of the film makers was greater than the doubts of others.

Doubters underestimated us...our kids believed!!!

I am not a filmmaker, but I have had my own share of doubters in my life. People doubted my wife and I’s decision to homeschool our children for elementary school. The haters said our children would be socially awkward and that they would fall behind academically. We knew differently. Our belief in our skillset and commitment was greater than the confidence of others’ doubts. My wife was formally trained to be a teacher, and I had my own successful experiences teaching middle school and high school. Not only did my children strive academically, but they were able to unlock their unique talents that have been part of the foundation of their self-esteem…Some doubted my wife having a home birth. They questioned the medical soundness of the decision. Some even suggested that supporting my wife could lead to the death of my wife and unborn child. The birth of our fourth son was not only one of the smoothest births my wife had, but it also provided us with inspiration to help us support mothers to birth in peace. In 2018, I quit my full-time job to be a full-time adjunct professor. Doubters told me I would have to do it forever and be unable to support my family. I believed more than they doubted. My one year as a full-time adjunct made me the most qualified candidate for a full-time faculty position. Furthermore, as an adjunct, my family was never without…I had more quality time with them than any time period as a parent.

Too often we are waiting for others to be our biggest fans…unfortunately too often they are our biggest doubters. They think they are helping us play it safe. They believe in the long run it will lead to better success for us. The reality is those people who think they are helping often facilitate our lives to an endless series of what-ifs. In turn, it leads us to living a life heavy with shame. The doubters may not know their family lineage, but I know mine! I come from a lineage of courageous people! My maternal grandmother was courageous enough to take on Mississippi that was controlled by Jim Crow. My maternal grandfather was courageous to take on delivering weapons on the front line in WWII with no weapons other than his mind and his body. My father took on a computer industry that often tried to deny him based on his limited formal education, versus his knowledge that was light years ahead of some of his colleagues (and supervisors).

They said I couldn't...this picture says otherwise

I am not afraid to be courageous in the face of doubters. Whether it is my educational pursuits, how I cheer on my wife and my children, or even how I choose to use my skills to build people up (that are frequently left out). I am not afraid to tell my story in its entirety…the good, the bad, the ugly. The entirety of my story can offer people the encouragement to be courageous in their own journey. Find your family’s origin story of being courageous. And if you cannot find one within immediate family lineage, be the genesis of your family’s origins of being courageous! Believe in what you can do, even when others want to be contrary. Your belief can be greater than the doubts of others. Lean on your faith in you and what you were meant to do in society. The doubters are coming. Are you ready to outlast them?

Stay ready! Be well!
- Elgrie J.