I Must Have Forgotten…

 

September 29, 2023

Hip Hop is an influential force in shaping cultures throughout the world. 2023 marks the 50th anniversary of Hip Hop culture. If you were born after the 1990s and/or not familiar with Hip Hop, it's more than music. Some of the most agreed upon elements of Hip Hop are deejaying, rapping, breakdancing, graffiti, knowledge, and fashion. And if you are from the San Francisco Bay Area, your contributions to Hip Hop are often overlooked by the world and by Hip Hop. I recently came across an article by NPR describing the connection of the Bay Area and Hip Hop. (NRP’s article on Hip Hop and the Bay Area.) Reading this article reminded me I must have forgotten some things.

 

It hurts to forget the things that matter!

There's a sweet spot that you strive for in this situation. You want recognition and you also wanna offer a nod to those who paved the way for you. Sometimes it is easy to forget your backstory. Maybe you forget because you don’t think you need it anymore…maybe you wanna forget because you are tired of the hurt from your past…When you forget sometimes it can hinder future success because you dismiss what generated your success in the first place.

In February 2019 I wrote a blog post about being in the thick of my journey to become a full-time faculty member at a community college. I mentioned how growing up in the San Francisco Bay Area made me embrace hustling to reach my goals. Here we are nearly 5 years later since that post, and I have hit a situation that I did not expect. I often talk about being proud of being from eastern Menlo Park. But lately I have forgotten where I come from.

When I say I forgot where I came from it doesn't mean the literal location; I am referring to the lessons and experiences of my past. ALL of my past shaped me. My past has fueled me in a way that made any discomfort that came with the journey worth it. Success is coming my way in ways I could not have imagined. And recently, I forgot what got me here. What got me here was operating on faith, working hard, loving hard, not living for success, and being unapologetically me. Lately, working hard has been the lone element that has remained. In addition, I discovered that challenges and problems don't necessarily disappear with success. Sometimes, new problems appear, and some old problems don’t go away.

I forgot how not focusing solely on the goal gave me energy (and drive) to do things most people were not able to do. Before this recent setback I was still parenting full-throttle, I was still being attentive to my fitness, and I was still seeking to be a hopeless romantic to my best friend that I get to spend the rest of my life with. My journey was not solo, yet I kept convincing myself it was. This made it easy to forget WHO my source is. The film Coach Carter (2005) has a scene where Coach Carter (who is played by the great Samuel L. Jackson) ties his shoes in front of his players and then says, "I did that!" He continued to be over the top in his communication at practice. He wanted the players to know they (as individuals) were not the source of their success. He wanted them to get their minds right. I needed to adjust my mindset and shrink my ego. I didn't achieve success alone. I was provided with people and resources from The Source who is greater than all of us. Now I'm not back where I need to be, but I'm back on track to get there.

Write down reminders of who you are!

I think everyone should strive to reach their goals. I think being focused has value…I think being disciplined so you can accomplish something has value. But living for success ain’t living. Success is only a piece of life. Just because I must have forgotten, does not mean you have to experience my lessons from the school of hard knocks to have the same epiphany. Don't forget where you come from. Don’t shy away from your story that made you who you are. Being authentically you is what has pushed you where you are. Stay true to you! "Remember who you are!"

 

Be well and let your uniqueness shine!
-Elgrie J.

The Overwhelming Stolen Feeling

June 19, 2019

Last month, my family had the privilege to see the Hamilton musical.  My God!  What a great musical!  I had been waiting to see this musical for about 3 years.  With the combination of United States history and Hip-Hop coming together, I knew my family would be attached to this musical.  What I did not know was how much my attachment would feel stolen in the future.

Once we got our copy of the musical’s soundtrack, we were hooked.   The musical became something the whole family liked.  Eventually, it became a curriculum for my kids.  My wife created vocabulary lists for our children.  We broke down the historical context of each song.  The children worked on their public speaking by doing repeated Karaoke versions of the musical.  For nearly 3 years, if you visited my house, there would be a good chance my family would break into a song (in unison) to the musical.  So, when the chance came for us to see it, we were overwhelmed by the generosity of such a gift.

Upon arriving to the theatre, something seemed off.  As we parked, my wife and I noticed most of the People of Color (non-Europeans) were the staff members of the building.  Patrons of the musical were mostly white; most People of Color watching the musical were at the top of the balcony with us.  Unless you had binoculars (like we did), you could not see the cast members very well.  But my family did not care because we knew the songs inside and out; this was OUR musical.  It felt like a flashback.  I began to imagine what it would be like to be Black in the 1920s and trying to see Duke Ellington but feeling out of place as a patron versus being part of the night club’s paid help.  I was there to see something that was culturally part of me, but I felt very much like an outsider.

As the musical began, I wondered about the following:  How could the first number of the musical not move you?! It was an all-Black cast poetically telling a story of the birth of a United States that for all intents and purposes never sought to include Black people (or any People of Color). How artistically ironic and amazing! I was hoping to see lots of people standing or reciting with excitement. I did see them; they were the Black and Brown youth in the audience (in the balcony of the music hall).  As the musical went on, there were songs that should make you feel like you were at a concert; should make you want to dance.  The majority of the audience did applaud, but they did not dance.  They did not appear to experience the musical.

The longer the show went on, I got very introspective. I remember Sidney Poitier’s character in Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner (1967) saying, "We are the Watusi." This line in the movie suggested that Black people have a different connection to their music than their white counterparts.  The musical was more than a musical; it was more than the history of the United States. The musical featured my culture:  Hip-Hop. Hip-Hop was being used to tell a story that was familiar. The audience was applauding Hip-Hop telling the good, the bad, and the ugly of the birth of the United States of America. Yet, part of me felt conflicted. I felt a stolen type of feeling because Hip-Hop was being praised, but only because in many ways it was maintaining the status quo about the history of the United States.

Hip-Hop was birthed as the voice of the voiceless in the ghettos of the USA.  Hip-Hop has been used to tell the good, the bad, and the ugly of predominantly Black and Brown people.  It is ironic that over the last 40 years, many of the Hip-Hop artists that have been bashed by mainstream white (affluent) USA sit at the center of the Hamilton musical.  Evidenced by the success of this musical, it is OK for Eminem, Melle-Mel, Snoop Dogg, DMX, Jay-Z, Mobb Deep, Notorious B.I.G., Busta Rhymes, A Tribe Called Quest, Beastie Boys, Kurtis Blow, Alicia Keys, Beyoncé, The Fugees, Cypress Hill, and Ja Rule to be used to tell a common story of US History. These same artists are shunned for telling their version of US History.  This is problematic for me.

People of Color get to tell the dominant culture’s story through our voice; we do not get to tell our story through our voice; we only get to tell it through the voice of dominant culture. The voice of the dominant culture that is lacking.  This needs to change!!!  This is the shift that I hope to get others to embrace:

●     Dominant culture’s voice does not give People of Color value.  People of Color have value that must be found within themselves; value should not be defined by others.

●     Dominant culture’s voice does not acknowledge past and current sins inflicted upon People of Color.  Slavery in the USA formally ended in 1865 (for the confederate states of the United States).  Slavery continued informally via segregation.  And the economic and social inequity ramifications of slavery have been proven statistically to still be a problem.  Having a Black president does not mean equity or equality has become the norm in the USA.

●     Dominant culture’s voice does not credit People of Color.  Individuals who prescribe to dominant culture must be willing to acknowledge white privilege perpetuates systemic racism in laws, education, and economics.  This includes the continuous systematic stealing of cultural aspects from People of Color for profit, but not allowing People of Color the same economic opportunity for promoting their own culture. For a self-starting conversation on privilege please see The Invisible Knapsack.

The story of shame and accountability of sins of the past that still affect the United States are still silenced.  Without a real opportunity to offer a more inclusive narrative, those who have had their voices stolen will only tell a biased story of the victor.  Viewing history or current events through the victor’s voice does not mean the perspective will tell the whole story.  It is time for EVERY voice within the United States of America to be heard.  Hip-Hop is a voice that needs to be included.  Unfortunately, there are opponents to Hip-Hop that suggest only certain Hip-Hop voices are heard.  But why? Is it because of the ugliness of a narrative of injustice that continues to go unnoticed?!  Is it because of the guilt one feels for the privilege rooted in race and xenophobia?!  It is not enough to hear about the happy narratives of Hip-Hop; there needs to be room for the bad and ugly narratives to be heard and given credibility.  It is time for EVERYONE to be given the opportunity to take a shot!  So, here’s the question:  Will you help or block the opportunity of others whose voices need to be heard?

- Elgrie J.