Doing Life Together!

 

July 31, 2023

“God has given us so many reasons…to carry on with this love…” - Kindred The Family Soul

I am a hopeless romantic. And I love finding singers/artists that speak to all the aspects of love. One of those groups is Kindred The Family Soul. I love the group Kindred The Family Soul! They are not just a singing group. They are song writers that happen to be a husband-and-wife tandem. They have been married since 1998. Seven albums and 6 kids later, they are still together. And their story of Black Love has not been drama free. They have had to work through unemployment, financial challenges, and a lack of support from the music industry. Yet, Aja Graydon and Fatin Dantzler remain an example of what living their life together looks like. I think people underestimate what it takes to make marriages work. Marriages that look easy require A LOT of work. I think my marriage to My Sunshine is no different.

“In this life together, we have traveled far.” - Kindred The Family Soul

To be clear, My Sunshine is my best friend. And I mean my BEST friend! There is nothing I cannot tell her (although I am sure she wishes there were things I would keep to myself). This is one of the foundations of your marriage. I love being married to my best friend. I am eager to share my world outside our home; I am even more eager to know what is going on in her mind…I wanna learn how she is evolving in serving our community, as a parent, and most importantly how she is evolving as an individual. I can’t lie, sometimes I get things wrong as a friend. (Probably way more often than I want to admit.) Sometimes I need to learn how to be a better friend. To do this, it requires vulnerability on my end and grace on her end. I am grateful that this formula is still working. As a matter of fact, we are doing better in our friendship than we did when we first began this journey.

This summer I had to study abroad (in Europe) for my graduate studies. It was hard for many reasons…Having dependable friends matters. And on my trip, my friends within my cohort kept me afloat. My relationship with My Sunshine has paved the way for what I expect from friends. I know friends are not easy to come by. Too often what you think are friendships, are toxic, one-sided relationships. The benefit is just for one person. Too often people claim they are your friends just because they know of you. That’s not how I would define a friend. Friendships are mutually beneficial. They may not benefit each person the same way, but both individuals are enhanced from the experience. I have learned the hard way that quality friendships do not come in large quantities. They are rare and are not something to take for granted. The term friend is not something I use loosely with everyone. The people I call friends are more like family to me. True friendships are full of give and take. I am grateful for the ones I have…I am grateful for my best friend who I get to spend the rest of my life with. 

“You’ve got to hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on… to me!” - Kindred The Family Soul

 

This marriage to my best friend is a joint venture. It is NEVER a 50/50, but it is ALWAYS a team effort. It is something that we both are committed to. This is the second part to the foundation of our marriage. Our marriage is rooted in our shared faith and values. It may seem cliché, but it should not be taken lightly. I have heard some people say it doesn't matter what couples believe if you have love. That's nice on a Hallmark card, but I have yet to see love alone keep a relationship afloat for the long haul. My Sunshine and I didn’t just fall into marriage and things worked out just because we loved each other. We have been working on this relationship for over 20 years. We were working on it long before we were married. We discussed our career aspirations, finances, and children before we tied the knot. We didn't start out on the same page…we moved from compromise to finding a third way…It does not mean it has been easy. Tension has arisen…stayed…and left regarding finances, career, and children. And news flash, sometimes the tension on these topics returns in different ways. We choose (as a unit) to be flexible and adapt how we engage in these topics depending on the reality we are presently facing.

 

We are 19 years in this thing called marriage!!! We have experienced so much…we have found success despite the odds being against us. But no matter what has happened, we have lived it together, helping each other every step of the way. Sadly, in this contemporary world we live in, making it to 19 years in your first marriage is not the norm. But that statistical fact does not deter us, it motivates us. We are confident about making it to 20 years and beyond (if we are still breathing this side of eternity).


To my Sunshine…we are just getting started in this life together! “If you’re a bird, I’m a bird!” Let’s
keep flying!!!

Jet Black…
-Elgrie J.

 

Number One Fan

 

July 31, 2022

For more than two decades my maternal grandmother was my #1 fan. She believed I could do anything or be anything. And she made sure everyone who came in her path knew it too. My first seasonal job while in college was at an affluent shopping mall. When my grandma learned about my interview, she volunteered herself to attend (and I awkwardly and under duress agreed). She got my hourly wages to be higher than what I was willing to accept. She saw my worth even when I didn't. She knew the relationship pitfalls I ended up in before I did. Things changed when she met my Sunshine. The moment she met her she knew what I knew: My Sunshine is the one; my Sunshine is my favorite-favorite. 

For nearly 20 years, my favorite-favorite has been my Sunshine 🌞.  To those unfamiliar with me or this blog, that is the nickname for Althea, my wife. But she's more than any of these titles. For 18+ years my Sunshine has been my #1 fan. It's like the moment she met my grandmother there was a passing of a baton. Like my grandmother, she often sees the Greatness in me that I don't see. She believed in my ability to teach at colleges and complete academic work at the graduate level. I was Dr. Hurd to her when I only saw myself as Elgrie.

And while I am honored to have Sunshine as my #1 fan, I love the privilege to be her biggest fan. I learned early on that as much as she denies it, she's a life-long learner. I love her commitment to continually learn how to love me. She found new interests and figured out what tools she needed to learn and apply what she knew. Whether it is teaching, tutoring, being a doula, birth educator, midwife assistant, or carpenter, she is always learning. I’m here for it! I’m a fan!

I am a fan of the way she loves others…and that starts with our children. She inspired me in how her love translates into her commitment to love each of our children based on their unique ways. She has taught me that all my children can be my favorites. I am a fan of her heart for those in need. While her target audience may be Black people, she is willing to answer the call of someone in need no matter their background. Most surprisingly, I am a fan because you are the model of living in the moment. It's a difficult thing to operate in a world that encourages you to be so focused on what's next you are likely to not focus on the now…18 years into this marriage I don't wanna miss out on the present because I'm dreading the past or hyper focused on the future. Why rush through the present to get to the future. "The future is coming…sooner than you think." Until then, I want to live out every sunrise and sunset with God's gift to me…my Sunshine.


 Everyone deserves to have a #1 fan. We all need reminders of the value we have that we can’t see in ourselves.  To my #1 fan…thank you…I love you. I hope you feel my passion as your #1 fan…EVERYDAY!

 

Happily in love and married,
Elgrie J.

Whatever It Takes

 

March 29, 2022

Marvel Studios set the entertainment world on fire with Avengers: Infinity War (2018). But that was only the beginning of a two-part ending. In Avengers: End Game (2019) the remaining Avengers committed to righting the wrong of an infamous villain. Before they begin this dangerous, borderline suicide mission, Captain America tells them all what is at stake. Captain America says, “This is the fight of our lives. And we’re gonna win! Whatever it takes!” I have seen End Game (2019) at least 50 times, and that scene never gets old. It still makes me want to attempt to join the Avengers to defeat Thanos and save the universe!

It is an honor to serve my kids.

I may not be able to save the universe, but I can get the opportunity to do one of the next best things: be an engaged father to my children. I love this privilege that has been given to me. I have 4 kids. So, sometimes the charge of being a daddy might appear to be taxing to outsiders looking in. During the school year, 5 days a week we gotta be out the door before the sun is up. Between work and other required adulting activities, we have to support the travel to school, band practice, art class, swim, Tae Kwon Do practice, sewing class, track, cross-country, community service, and Bible study. For the Hurd 3rd Crew, the show never stops. And I’m grateful I get to serve my kids, daily. Some people ask, “How do you have the energy to push on?” “Don’t you ever wanna quit?” My answers are simple, but not simple. At times, I do wanna quit! I wanna quit more often than I want to admit. But I have the energy to push on for two reasons: First, my source is eternal. So, when I am weak, I lean on Him who is in me. Second, because it’s not about me! It’s about them. To be parent is something everyone is not gifted to be. This reality makes me unafraid to do whatever it takes (that’s ethical) to help my kids get their wins.

As a parent, I'm gonna do whatever it takes. In Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner (1967) the great Sidney Poitier is playing as Dr. John Prentice. In this role he had a very heated conversation with his on-screen father. It was suggested by the on-screen father that Dr. Prentice owed his father. Dr. Prentice responded by stating "If you carried that bag a million miles, you did what you were supposed to do. Because you brought me into this world. And from that day you owed me everything you could ever do for me…" My kids owe me nothing! I owe them everything, but my soul. I owe them to do my part to equip them so they can utilize their agency to confidently make their own decisions. To do this, I strive to model critical thinking and create an environment where they understand they have the power to do what they believe they can do.

Amid helping my kids get their wins, I am still working for my own. I have heard some people tell me that you cannot be a great parent and go for your dreams. I don’t accept this either-or reality. If these individuals are of the Christian faith, they may also suggest you cannot know Jesus and have fun. I reject this as well! (I have found lots of fun in Jesus!) I can seek to be a great parent and push for my dreams. Over the last 4 years I have been doing just that. In 2018, I quit my job and took on the unthinkable…I became a full-time adjunct instructor at various colleges/universities to increase my odds to become a full-time faculty member at a community college. On this journey, my kids have not gotten less of me. In fact, they have had more time with me than ever before. In less than a year, my dream became a reality. For me, my dreams included my kids. And as I continue to build on my dreams, my kids will continue to be included.

When she wins, I win!

The idea of blogging started because of my daughter. It started because I met a phenomenal young woman who created a platform for girls and women around the world to find support and empowerment. That phenomenal woman made the time to listen to my questions about how to best support my daughter who has dreams that are tall enough to reach the sky. That phenomenal woman, Tiffany Pham, thought my voice was worthy enough to be an influencer on her platform. I will never forget that. My daughter wants to turn the fashion world upside down. I am here for it! I know eventually she will do it. While we wait for that day, I am willing to drive her/fly/finance her to get it done. I’ll do all of that and more cheering all along the way. Whatever it takes on my end to help her get there, please believe I’m all in until she gets the victory!

A Proud and Privileged Dad,
- Professor Elgrie J. Hurd, III

Window of Opportunity

February 28, 2022

I love a good cross-country movie

 I am a fan of most cross-country films. If you keep up with sports like cross-country, you know it is an underappreciated team sport. For the team to win, having the best runner is not enough. A winning team must be able to find a way for their top 4-5 runners to tap into their best effort to help the team have the best overall finish. As a distance runner in high school, I had to learn that winning the race did not necessarily mean my team would win the meet. In time, I had to learn that finding out what motivated my teammates to take their efforts to the next level mattered. I spent the last year of my high school experience focusing on making sure my team increased our odds of winning more cross-country meets. Back then I did not realize this was the foundation of servant leadership. What I finally began to realize, is that to win I needed to accept the fact that the effectiveness of my team was greater than the effectiveness of an individual on the team.

I had no idea my running experiences were preparing me for a calling to be a parent, mentor/coach, and a servant leader. Servant leaders seek to make the individuals who are following them to maximize their potential. For some organizations/teams, maximizing a follower’s greatness may come at the cost of the leader or the organization. A servant leader is not deterred by this possibility. As a servant leader, denying a person’s greatness is denying the world to be deprived of a gift that can change the world. This is not an option! As a parent, mentor/coach, and/or leader there is a small window of opportunity to empower individuals to recognize their greatness at an early stage in their development. Why does that matter? So, they can maximize their potential. Also, this allows individuals under someone’s leadership to reduce the chances of regret or missed opportunities.

In hindsight, my window of opportunity for teaching came in an unexpected moment. I was given an opportunity to coordinate an event for my peers in the resident hall I was staying during my freshman year of college. It didn't go as planned. It did open my eyes to what could be. Programming student events led to becoming a resident advisor, and becoming a resident advisor led to leadership and teaching opportunities for the entire university. This is my backstory to leadership and teaching. The backstory of an individual's success is important. Without knowing where someone came from it is difficult to truly comprehend the significance of their success. If we look closer, we see there was a moment that could/did change everything for each of us. For some of us, there was a moment where an intervention from someone occurred that facilitated our path towards confidence (and possibly greatness).

My son and I celebrating his 5k success

My son’s potential backstory in sports started with running long distances. To be clear, my second son is NOT a distance runner, but he's got the potential to be. He typically does not train or volunteer to run long distances. Recently, he showed me that his window of opportunity was upon us. He stated he wanted to earn a medal for a 5k race. To earn a 5k medal, you must run a 5k race. To his benefit, there was an upcoming 5k that he would feel like he earned a medal, because it was probably one of the hilliest 5k races in North Texas. But none of that matters if he was not willing to trust the process and I was not willing to guide him in the process. When it was all said and done, he earned his 5k medal, and placed in the top three of his age group…He even placed in the top ten for all boys under the age of 18. The confidence he developed in that grueling 5k was amazing. My son discovered he had a talent for running. And since that race, he has not looked back!

Like my son, there are individuals who need a push. Sadly, too many may be unsupported and unaware of the opportunity for them. Missing the window does not mean their chance to walk in their purpose/talent will never come. It likely means it will be delayed, and the world gets a delayed version of benefits. There is not time for that! Everyone is not a servant leader. But, for those of you who are, step up and do your part! I challenge you to help someone find their window of opportunity! #IAmCauseWeAre

 

Be well!
- Elgrie J./Father of the Hurd 3^rd Crew

The Simple Things

July 31, 2021

A public love letter to My Sunshine...

Our story is full of simple things. A simple comment about Black beauty. A simple touch. A simple slice of pizza. I had no idea that a simple exchange in words would help me discover the best friend I've ever had (outside of Jesus).

Maybe my first gift for my Sunshine should have been a foreshadow clue on how some things would play out in our marriage. I created a candygram. That was a big deal for me. It was the first time I had made one! The candygram was full of messages telling you how you were a sweet tart and how I was a zero without you. It was a micro of my expression of love and appreciation...I didn't do grandiose...I did do intentional things from the heart.

17 years into this marriage, I'm still just a simple guy. Just give me my Jesus, my Sunshine, my kids, and some quality root beer and I'm good to go. Yet, somehow you found ways to expand my simplicity. Whether it is you tightening my locs, sharing meals, home schooling our Hurd 3rd Crew, or the peace your random, unexpected hugs bring me. Thank you for the simple discoveries.

Love "Sunday Morning"

In the 17 years of us being married, you took what we started when we courted into one of the greatest gifts of all-time. You showed me to be simply me, no matter who is around. That was/is hard. To be vulnerable to you and the world was/is scary. Prior to meeting you my vulnerability was exploited. You made it my superpower! It helped me at work to connect with people like no one else could...It helped me be a better parent. Showing my kids that their superhero sometimes falls short (and his human) was one of the greatest gifts you have given me (that keeps on giving).

So, is there more for us to do and learn? ABSOLUTELY!!! 17 years in, and we are just getting started! At age 17, we were far from having things figured out. Why would 17 years into a marriage be any different?! I hope we continue to have excitement to do things we have done; travel to places we have never seen. I hope we get to grow in Jesus in ways we never knew we could. And if for some reason all of these things are not part of future chapters of our story, I hope we do as much as we can until our story on this side of infinity ends.

It's the simple things!

I love you more now than I did when we first got married. I’m looking forward to my love for your deepening even more...I’m looking forward to all the little things to come!

"Thank you for this journey, no matter how it ends."

- Elgrie J.

I Just Want You to be Proud of Me

March 29, 2021

Althea working on another project!

I don’t know a lot about Tito Lopez. I do know that his musical existence has been burned into my memory bank because of my friend’s relationship with his mother. My friend has a close relationship with his mother. She is his ace boon coon. For the most part, no matter what is going on, he makes time for her. Often, we will be hanging out and then I hear his phone playing Mama Proud by Tito Lopez as his ringtone. The part he has as his ringtone repeats “I just want my mama to be proud of me. I just want my mama to be proud of me.” When that happens, our conversation pauses, and his son duty calls. It’s a beautiful thing to watch, because his relationship with his mother is the embodiment of that song’s chorus.

The relationship dynamics I have/had with the mother figures in my life are a little different, but the desire to honor them is the same. They pushed me to not let where I come from determine where I was going. Most importantly, they wanted me to represent them in all that I do. By doing that, I learned I was representing the collective, not just myself. I take pride in seeking to bring honor to mothers I have/had my life. Thankfully, they all confirmed on this side of eternity that I did honor them well.

My efforts to bring honor to women did not stop with those who helped raise me. Recently, I watched a YouTube video of Nas writing a letter to Destiny (Dear Destiny). As the video develops you realize that all Nas wants is for Destiny to be proud of him. I can relate to Nas. I live with a queen and a warrior princess...Althea and Klarc Joy. I take great joy cheering them for their unique versions of Black excellence.

Madam VP dressed to change the world

Over the years I have seen them both find new things to thrive in. In the recent past, Althea became an expecting mother-to-be one-stop empowerment hub for pregnant women. For Klarc Joy, her thing was fashion and art. Times have changed; their creative energies have found new things to explore. Althea has become the little-carpenter-that-could. If she can think it, she has made it. Headboard, benches, hotel for Guinea pigs, tables, bathroom cubby...YOU NAME IT! (Yes, it is that serious.) Klarc Joy is becoming an activist for the collective. As Madam Vice President of her school, she continuously finds practical ways to reestablish community in a pandemic, and actually implementing them. As their cheerleader, I am amazed and inspired. The ladies of royalty in my house remind me that it is not a requirement for you to remain stagnant in your purpose or talent. Yet, to embrace this premise requires courage. It takes courage to try new things. It requires an unyielding persistence to become good at those new things. These two are doing that, and they are only getting started!

I hope to continue to be inspired by the ladies of my life so they can continually be proud of me.

The Biggest Cheerleader of the Hurd 3rd Crew Ladies of Royalty,

- Elgrie J.

 

Confessions of Being a Dad

 

January 26, 2021

Dedicated to my first-born who started it all, and my sons who have come after...

 

I absolutely love being a dad. It is one of the things I constantly thank God for on a daily basis. I love my kids. I even like my kids. I know those are no small feats. And in this pandemic, I am learning that my dynamic is not universal.

While I love being a dad, becoming one was one of the most frightening things to consider. A constant battle in my mind was... what if I get wrong? Unfortunately, that is still a daily struggle. Thankfully, doubt seems to be losing each round lately. For me, I seek to be a daddy that is different from the negative stereotypes. Not because it is uncommon, but because it is the right thing to do. I often write these blogs with a focus on my daughters. This time I decided to focus on my sons.

There is so much on the line to get it right as a dad of a son. I want my sons to be free of seeing toxic masculinity modeled by the men in their life (including by me). I want them to know when they see me cry, that is OK, and it does not make them less of a cisgender male. I want them to know it is not a form of weakness to be vulnerable and transparent. I try to be intentional in allowing my sons to see me in these moments and offering commentary because it matters.

It is important for my sons to know that I do make mistakes. I seek to model for them that not only do mistakes happen, but we should find ways to be accountable and learn from them. At the same time, I want my sons to know that effort and discipline are not enough to get the results we desire. I want them to know that we live in a very broken world, full of broken people and unjust policies that often reinforce the brokenness. It is not right; it is not fair; it is reality. Hence, part of the journey for success is navigating with the right awareness and the right support systems. Another part of the journey is finding ways to address the brokenness in a way that benefits others who are denied opportunities.

And with all that I want for them, I know I can be a barrier to things I want for them. In my efforts to protect them from pain I experienced, I forget the positive life-altering things that came with the pain of my past. In an effort to encourage safety, I unintentionally suffocate their dreams and imagination. My hope is that my shortcomings do not cause my sons to become their own dream killers. My mistakes do not have to be their mistakes. In fact, I hope they would do like I did…hold onto the things my dad did/does well and improve on the things he did not.

 

All of the things I have shared in this blog post are important for me to share with my sons. But none of it compares to the importance of their souls. I want my sons to have the opportunity to find peace and glory on the other side of eternity. I want them to know who their Heavenly Father is...what He has done and continues to do for our family. I want them to know (as much that is humanly possible) the depth of Jesus’ love and sacrifice for them. I do not want their understanding to be limited to what they read; I want them to see it in me. I want them to see it in my prayers with them and my actions around them. I want their measuring stick of success to not be defined by me, but by the blueprint Jesus laid out for us. As a dad who seeks to serve Christ, following Jesus is the greatest legacy to my sons. If this legacy is embraced at some level by sons, my parenting to them is not a failure. Only time will tell. Until time reveals the final product, I will continue to pray and love on them relentlessly.

 

Let love rule!
- Elgrie J./Daddy (to my kids)

Find a Dream Partner

Dedicated to my Dream Partner

August 3, 2020

My Dream Partner, my Sunshine

What does it mean to have a dream partner? It is a person who shares the dream/dreams you have and works with you to make them a reality. Dream partners can be business partners, or family members. For me, it is my wife, my Sunshine. If you know our story, you know that we have been dream partners ever since we met. I met my dream partner at California State Polytechnic University, Pomona. We dreamed there...we built there...I proposed to her there. The best decision I ever made in college was marrying my Sunshine. Yet, it almost did not happen.

My proposal to get married was almost the proposal that never happened. Even though I had the support from members of her family and my family, I was scared to dream with her beyond college life. I was a first-generation college student, I had no wealth, and my car was barely holding on. All I had was “a couple of college credits and my top-notch brain.” I had a dream to change the world. In my mind I thought who would give up a world of comfort for that? Would my Sunshine want to build that dream into a reality with me? This concern hindered my efforts to blow her away with a romantic proposal...I feared she would say no. In my most vulnerable state, she said yes. She said she would marry me and began to dream.

Our marriage has been full of dreams and nightmares. I am thankful the dreams outweigh the nightmares by a long shot. This year, my Sunshine and I dreamed of having our own forever home. In January 2020, we began looking at homes. We were not ready to have our own home, but we wanted to get ideas. We came upon this home not far from us. The moment we walked in, my Sunshine was in love with the house. She saw things I could not see. She was dreaming of possibilities, and I was stuck in reality. Unfortunately, when we began to seriously look at homes, only one of us was dreaming. I was thinking in the now, my Sunshine was dreaming about the future. And then in May 2020, we saw a house. It was nice. It had potential, but there was a problem. My Sunshine pointed out that this home was good for the family right now, but what about the future? We could not grow in this house. At that moment, I realized that I had stopped being her dream partner. My Sunshine was dreaming alone. I was seeing convenience while she was seeing more. My shortcoming rocked me, and I told her, "I want to dream with you." From the moment forward, we dreamed of not settling...we dreamed of a home that would allow our family to grow and bless others.

My dream partner put my commitment to the test. The house we saw in January that she loved, was the first house we saw once we found a realtor to help us. In June, it was still the only house that was aligned with our forever home dream wish list. We drove by it (together and separately). When we drove by it, we prayed about it. If this was not going to be our home, we wanted something just like it. And then one day, we walked by it. We saw a potential neighbor. We introduced ourselves and asked him to pray that we get this house and become his neighbors. Then, we shared our vision with some of our closest loved ones. They encouraged us to go for it. We wrote the seller a letter. In the letter we said…

Our desire is to grow our family. We know to do this, the space needs to be bigger than where we currently reside; welcoming for growth...Over the last few years we have become part of the city. Our children attend the local public schools and we are actively serving the community because we want to contribute to its legacy.

Since we moved to Texas, it has been our dream to have a forever home. We have worked tirelessly to get to this point. Making this home our home will have made the journey worth it. If you accept our offer, you are helping two educators achieve their dreams, so we can focus on helping others achieve theirs. Our desire is to close on July 31^st. This is our wedding anniversary. We feel that closing on this date would be an indelible reminder of the blessings the Year 2020 has brought to our family.

Sold to the Hurd 3rd Crew

The seller did not accept our initial offer; we accepted the counter. We did not close on the house on our wedding anniversary, but pretty close to it. From a sentimental perspective, it was not what we wanted. We also recognized the closing date was not deal breaker either. We had several hiccups along the way. Yet, because we were dreaming together, setbacks were just setups for success to get this home. When one of us was losing confidence on the journey, the other partner reminded us that our journey was bigger than us; our potential impact was bigger than us. Our faith in our dreams were bigger than our doubts. We focused on what was to come, rather than what was.

16 years later, I love how we are still finding new ways to dream. My Sunshine continuously shows me that if we dare to dream, there is no limit to what we can do. Even in the midst of economic uncertainty and a global pandemic, we dreamed beyond what we could see. For years, my wife and I were members of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship, led by Dr. Tony Evans. One of the sermons that stuck with me was his sermon of faith. He defined faith as “acting like it is so, even when it’s not so, in order than it might be so, simply because God said so.” For us, faith requires us to do our part, and letting God do the rest. The challenge is being patient for God’s timing. Thankfully, our faith in God is mutual. We believe we are each other’s dream partner. And that cohesive faith goes a long way. My challenge to others is to find a dream partner. Find someone who dreams with you based on faith, not by sight. For dreams to be what they need to be you have to have faith. Faith that believes impossible is nothing. Dream together! A dream partner must be faithful. You must be faithful with your dream partner. So, dream on!

- Elgrie J., The Dream Partner of Althea C. (my Sunshine)

'Til My Last Breath

Dedicated to my sister, La Leighta S. Harriet

December 24, 2019

My sister and I have been close for most of our lives. Maybe it's because we get each other; maybe it's because we are so close in age. Whatever the reason, we have always felt like fraternal twins. (For all you comic book nerds, we often refer to ourselves as the Wonder Twins.)

 

My sister refers to me as her little big brother. Of all of my three siblings, I am the youngest. Yet, I have never let my sibling ordinal ranking stop me from stepping up for my siblings...especially La Leighta S. Harriet. From an early age, I saw sibling love through my mom's brothers. Through thick and thin, I witnessed my uncles have the back of my mother. I always figure it would be a good idea to do the same.

 

Future Harriets and Hurd 3rd Crew

So, since I was about 13, I have had the privilege of having her back, being her tag team partner, and listener. We sang together, danced together and even got into trouble together (most of the time). Thankfully, our relationship has not been one-sided. And then adulthood hits, but somehow, we don't miss a beat. I've never missed a graduation. In challenging emotional times, I try to always be just a phone call away. And if I can, I'll do what I can to travel the world to be by her side.

 

Wonder Twins before
she says, "I do!"

In the last 7 years we both have experienced a lot...most of the experiences were more good than bad. As much of a social butterfly that she is, she taps my shoulder to help with life-changing events. Whether it is being a shoulder to cry on, helping pick her next automobile, or even walking her down the wedding aisle, she believes in me to not fail her. I do not take that honor lightly.

Most recently the honor to not fail her became a family affair. The Hurd 3rd Crew (my wife, my children, and I) were all-hands-on-deck to help with the final part of her pregnancy. I will not tell her birthing story, because it is NOT mine to tell. I will say I am honored that my family could help her husband and her as they endured the journey.

Just an uncle meeting his
new nephew

And now that she is a mommy my role has gotten an additional title: uncle. I wear it proudly. I do not know what the future holds for us. I do know our bond is stronger than ever; it is evolving. It involves serving my sister, her husband, and her son. And while it is evolving, I know I will be there, to serve, until my last breath!

 

-       Elgrie J.