No Disrespect

 June 30, 2022

 

So, this is a bitter-sweet blog post. I have enjoyed watching “Naomi” on the CW. For my daughter and I it has been our daddy-daughter time. It is part of our casual date. I buy her lunch, or when she’s feeling fancy, she buys me lunch and we hop on the couch and squeeze 1-2 episodes before everyone else gets home. That’s coming to an end. The CW (or whoever is making decisions on which shows get more episodes) decided to axe the show after one season. I’m definitely in my feelings about this decision. The main character is a Black teenager who is smart, popular, rides a skateboard, and loves comic books. This sounds like my daughter (minus the skateboard part). There are not a lot of shows out there with a teenage Black girl as the main character, not tied to any negative stereotypes. (If anyone knows the people who canceled the show, tell them I would at least like to get a meet and greet between Kaci Walfall and my daughter.)

 

One phrase that is always used on the show by Naomi is "no disrespect." From Naomi's point of view, she wants to do 2 things with using this phrase: First, she wants the person to understand her intention…no disrespect. Second, she wants to get her point across. Often in the storylines of the show, the adults continuously tried to deny what she knew. They weren't giving her the credit she deserved. So, while they may have been attempting to be low-key disrespectful to her, she was not attempting to do the same. Like Naomi, I got a few things to get off my chest. My hope is that they are received with no disrespect. 


In my effort to value my voice, I am embracing some things that need to be said for it to manifest. May I have your attention please! Bottom line: I want others to stop stealing my stuff! I want those who say they value what I share in conversations/in the industry to (please) gimme my credit! Gimme me my pay! I want individuals/organizations to stop holding back my royalties. (OK, royalties might be a strong word to use; that's probably a hyperbole.) A one-time payment for a tool/strategy/lesson that is frequently used by an organization that claims to be about DEI (diversity, equity, and inclusion) is gonna be a problem for me. Let's #DoBetter …Denying me credit only adds to my barriers of recognition in my industry. It denies me opportunities in the future. And I’m not OK with this in my future.

Please stop pretending my voice gets the same opportunity. History shows the rules keep changing! Making laws to restore justice didn't end unfair and unjust practiced ideologies. The reality is to get to the finish line I'm not only carrying my own weight, but the shackles of the burdens and expectations I didn't ask for. I have to know what everyone knows. I also have to know what is invisible to people who don't look like me…the color-blind system that sees color until it doesn’t. I wanna finish at the top; I wanna celebrate. But we aren’t there yet, so let's add equity to the equation ASAP!

It's time to end the excuses and get it right! Can I get my recognition? Can we acknowledge the barriers I overcome are not universal? I know the answers to both of these questions is yes. Yet, despite the systemic and systematic roadblocks I am gonna find a way into the victor's seat. And just know, when I finally get a chance to sit in it, I am not volunteering to give it up. And those who want me out of the chair, they will be welcomed to try…No disrespect! ✊🏾

 

Be well!
-Elgrie J. Hurd, III

My PSA for DEI

February 28, 2021

For some, Black History Month comes to an end on February 28th (February 29th on leap year). And for some it's the end of the efforts to embrace diversity. Some expect a pat on the back for doing the right thing. Some even expect a free pass for future wrongdoings because they partied on the diversity bandwagon. I have been doing work tied to diversity for nearly 20 years. For the last 3 years I have had the privilege to teach psychology, sociology, counseling, and leadership classes in the capacity of a full-time professor. Every time I teach, I intentionally seek to imbed diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) concepts in my classes because it matters...I'm not here for the applause; I'm here to work because it needs to be done. I'm here to do the work because I can!

I'm here to help make DEI a tangible reality. I'll lead, organize, and educate. When I am hired in the various capacities centered around DEI, there are some important things to keep in mind…

○     #1) Hiring me doesn't should not end an organization's efforts of diversity, equity, and inclusion.

○     #2) I do not know everything regarding DEI, nor am I required to.

○     #3) Diversity and inclusion is NOT about being politically correct. It IS about empathy and recognizing humanity in everyone.

Think bigger when it comes to DEI

The burden of DEI is something for all of us to do. Participation in DEI is not like passing your driver's license test or getting a degree from a college/university...it's not a one-time thing. To do it right requires a lifetime commitment. It requires doing work AND being accountable. Being accountable AND having empathy. It requires you to not accept the mindset of jellyfish syndrome. (Jellyfish syndrome is a mindset of having good intentions but doing more harm than good.) This blog does not serve as your education on DEI issues. This is a public service announcement.

Each of us has to accept we can be part of the problem and part of the solution at the exact same time. Each of us needs to seek to offer more effort to the solution rather than the problem. Accountability matters. And being an ally is a step in the right direction, but it's not the end-all-be-all. It is part of the lifetime journey to empower the voices and stories that have been systemically AND systematically denied.

#AlliesWanted in this fight. Will you join the fight?

In Solidarity,
Professor Elgrie J. Hurd, III