I Got Family, They Got Me

December 31, 2018

Many people tend to have their own definition of family. For some people, family is defined as the people who share the same bloodline as you. For others, the definition is those who look after you no matter what. But for me it's more than that.  For me family means that you are part of someone's dreams. That doesn't mean that people who support your dreams are going to fix dreams for you, or that they are going to lead the way, so all your dreams come true. Family is made up of individuals who believe in your dreams, unconditionally.

As a young child I always had dreams of doing big things for the world. I was optimistic and inspired by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Malcolm X, Harriet Tubman, Frederick Douglas, and Rosa Parks.  I had audacity of hope that I could help make the world a better place; that I could solve the problems that were byproducts of hate and misunderstandings of others.  And then life happens in real time and your world changes. Then you realize that things are not always what they seem, and some things don't always work out the way you planned.

My oldest sister died when I was 8 years-old. My sister was my rock star, my idol, my role model, and everything that was good in the world; everything that made living exciting. She wanted to help others; she wanted to be a medical doctor. And I loved that about her. So, when she died that became my dream.  As I got older living the dream for someone else about someone else was not enough. When I got to high school, I realized I had a dream for myself.

I knew I wanted to be an educator from the moment I took US history in high school. I knew I loved teaching people things they needed to know, so they could get to where they wanted to go. Teaching brings me joy…the same joy as making the last shot in a game; the same joy as helping your team in a wrestling dual meet…the same joy taking 1st place in a race. It was a joy no one could take from me; a joy that wasn't temporary.  And that's how I knew it was my calling. I did know exactly how I was going to do this educator thing, but my family supported me along the way.

People can say they support your dreams because it is easy to say. To really do it right, it takes an intentional willingness to really support a dream that is not yours, even in the face of adversity; even in the face of uncertainty...even when you don't understand exactly what the dream means. Family is about helping each other without expectations of something in return. You help because you believe the dream a family member is trying to make come true is what's best for them...brings out the best in them and will help them make a lasting impact on this planet, whether their impact is large or microscopic.

I am grateful for the family that I have in my life. I don't have a lot of friends, but I do have a lot of family. And my family members have found many ways to help me in reaching my dreams. They help me even when my dreams have changed. Some help with words of encouragement; others help with providing physical labor to get things done. Some help financially, while others provide free or discounted services.  Some family members provided (and are still willing to provide me) love donations in the form of food, clothes, housing, and even transportation. A whole lot of people in my family have done lots of praying for me. And a small few have done all the above. I don't think the Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, or the New American Heritage Dictionary have the words to accurately describe how blessed and privileged I am to have the family that I have.

This journey has reminded me that the most important family that I have on this planet are the ones sitting in my house. My family starts with my better half, my Sunshine, my wife. Before I even finished college, she believed in the dream I only joked about. She knew that one day I would do something that I thought was impossible; that one day I would become a doctor in some social science/education field. Since we became a couple, she listed me in her phone contacts as “Dr. Hurd.” She believed in me when I was too foolish to believe in myself. In contemporary times she believes in me when I have doubts or when I have set backs in this dissertation journey.  But that's what family is for. Everyday my family locally, regionally, nationally, and even internationally reminds me that I'm not alone...ALL my family is with me on this journey all the way to the finish line (whenever it comes).

So, here are my recommendations to everyone reading this:  First, find family members who believe in your dreams.  Second, when you find them, thank them often.

To my family who has unconditionally supported my dreams, thank you!!!

DREAM BIG!!!

Journey of Faith

November 26/November 27, 2018

The following is a testimony about Jesus Christ...

Some days change your life forever.  August 14, 2009 was one of those days for me.  Someone T-boned the car I was driving on the freeway. My car was totaled.  When they took me to the emergency room, the MRI technician found cancer in my pancreas.  It was my Jonah moment.  For years I had been running from serving God; I had been running towards serving myself.  I justified my behavior by rationalizing I was working non-stop to support my family.  

August 14, 2009 brought my running to a halt; my car crash on that day changed everything.  I should have died from that car crash.  On that day I was “spit” out of a whale of circumstances.  I knew I had to change things.  I had to pick up the cross Jesus had left for me and stop making excuses.  I decided to commit to serve in the youth ministry at my church.  While awaiting a surgery to remove the cancer, I began serving faithfully.  Then, on November 16, 2009, I had the surgery; I was given a second chance. Moving to Texas was a major part of my faith journey. Texas wasn't part of my original plans. But in 2007, God revised my plans.

None of this would have been possible had I not take a major leap of faith in 2007.  That is when my first child (Mighty) was born. He was a game-changer. He made me ponder what would be best for my household. There were so many things to consider from the moment I found out my wife was pregnant. From employment opportunities, to insurance, how it would affect Mighty was paramount.  And just when I thought I had it all figured out, my son who was not even 4 months old, convinced his mama she needed to stay at home beyond her job’s maternity leave.  One problem:  we lived in the San Francisco Bay Area.  I worked at a Title I school (a school in a low-income school district) and my wife worked at a Christian non-profit in the same neighborhood where I taught.  We couldn’t stay in the Bay; we had to move. I got a retroactive pay raise, and we used it to cover our moving expenses.  (The amount of my raise was almost the exact amount of money needed to rent a moving truck.)  All we knew was we needed to live out this new vision of Althea staying at home with Mighty...we knew we could not do it California (the way we wanted).  We were officially moving to Texas.

I kicked and screamed (internally) all the way from California to Texas. My pouting caused me to really dismiss the blessings that came my way. An example of the blessings included my sister-in-law letting us stay with her family for several months while I looked for a job. This led me to going to a job searching class that helped me be more strategic in job searching. From that training I got a job teaching high school English, psychology, and sociology.  A college recruiter came to my high school recruiting students and told me his campus needed a sociology instructor.  Eventually, I got hired as an adjunct faculty member at a career college; the adjunct position made me a desirable pick to become the college’s first (and only) Dean of Student Services for the next 4 ½ years.  All those changes happened in less than 2 years after moving to Texas.  They happened because I took a leap of faith. That leap of faith led me to that fateful day traveling southbound on Interstate 35E. Then, on November 16, 2009, the cancer was removed; God gave me a chance to do-better. Had we stayed in California, the cancer would have spread, and I never would have known.  The cancer in my pancreas would have killed me.  Pancreatic cancer is a silent killer.  I showed no signs.  Yet, it was not my time.  God was not done with me; I had work to do.  However, that work was only possible because of the journey of faith Althea and I began in 2007.  After the surgery, two-thirds of my pancreas was gone; my spleen was gone.  Even still, my body continued to function just fine.  By the time I healed, I was back to serving at church.  Then, my son wanted to come to church...then my daughter wanted to come. Eventually, my entire family was coming and serving like we had never served before.  In the process of all of that, I found a purpose that allowed me to serve Christ through psychology.  I enrolled in a doctoral program in August of 2011.  My reality in 2018 is the manifestation of unexpected detours that brought Christ back to the center of my life.  

I sit here 9 years after that car crash feeling even more faithful in Christ, my marriage, and in my relationships with my children.  So many blessings would have never happened if I did not embrace the detours.  I may not have liked each detour that has been sent my way, but my faith supersedes my need to understand.  I understand there is a purpose; often a purpose that is beyond my comprehension.  I believe that God knows what He is doing. In the end I will be stronger, and I will be a conduit for God to bless others.  Thus, I embrace the detours.  Detours keep coming my way.  And it is all good.  I am in it for the long-run, because slow and steady wins this race!

'Til I write again,

Elgrie J. Hurd III

Little Setbacks, Little Victories

October 21, 2018

Initially, I thought quitting my job would be the hard part. I didn't realize that was just the beginning. It's been a little over two months. I still haven't found my groove yet. And I have I just barely started back up on my dissertation.  I am not where I want to be, but I'm getting on track.  When you are on a new journey it's so easy to second-guess your decisions you made the moment things start going off course. These last two months have been full of that.  Lately, things that were not part of my plan keep popping up. The car stopped working, unexpected bills, not making the money you expected to make, and having to get a new dissertation chair.  I was starting to wonder that I got it wrong.  Then, something changed. 

At the end of last month, my college friend, my fraternity brother got married. His wedding was just a manifestation of all of the changes he had been through. If you saw him, you wouldn't know his story had lots of valleys; you wouldn't know he went through a career change…but I did. He went to college to be an engineer; he got a job after college.  Yet, he was missing something.  Then he changed careers and found a better work-life balance.  He was not just living; he was living in his purpose. And he unintentionally reminded me little setbacks can be setups for little victories.

When I started this journey, I thought living in my purpose would lead to nothing but victories.  Unfortunately, just because I feel like I am living my purpose, it does not mean I am not going to have setbacks.  As a matter of fact, I will probably face more setbacks attempting to live out my purpose than any part of my life. For me, I learning to embrace this is the next journey in my faith walk.  If I truly believe my purpose is to teach at a community college and work with churches, I must trust the process.  (I am rolling my eyes as I type this.)  For the past year I had been telling college students who were uncertain about college and internships to trust the process. And now, I am having to take my own medicine and I do not like the way it tastes!  But it makes sense.  I cannot think of this journey as a sprint...it is a marathon!

I started running long-distance when I was 14.  I was not great when I started; I was horrible.  I thought I would be great just because I simply wanted to be great.  Reality was I had to fight if I wanted to become great; I had to learn to be disciplined, and I had to be willing to sacrifice things to reach my goal.  I reached my goal by creating milestones along the way.  Sometimes I did not get to my milestones right away.  I hit setbacks.  I had a lot of setbacks!  And each setback helped me learn how to get closer to milestones.  My milestones became my little victories. Over time I got better; I eventually found my groove and became a distance runner. 

I will have to do similar things in this journey. I will need to become disciplined; I will need to identify efficiencies that fit this journey.  I will also need to figure out milestones for this #ProjectDissertation.  For this journey, my setbacks have been that I have not accounted for the little victories along the way.  This road to complete my dissertation and teach full-time as a community college professor is a marathon...I am building my endurance to finish the race!

I hope as you finish reading this, you are encouraged to continue in this journey with me.  Please consider subscribing to this blog and keep up with my journey. 

Till I write again,
Elgrie Jones Hurd III
-Grand Canyon University Doctoral Candidate, General Psychology - Industrial and Organizational Psychology Emphasis

At the Crossroads of Dreams and Reality

September 12, 2018

There comes a moment in time when you come to crossroads. For me, it was the moment I read a letter I wrote to myself eight/nine months ago.  It has been my most recent spiritual, professional, and educational crossroads. I had two paths: Stay stagnant or make a change.

For nearly six months, I remained stagnant. I had not touched my dissertation. To be honest time was on my side, but the time allotted was not a good fit. The time I had tended to be late at night or when I was tired (or both). My other challenge was my full-time job required me to bleed more time at home for work. (And I justified my behavior because the job supported a great humanitarian mission.) In my effort to support a great mission, my own opportunity divide was growing. Then, I thought back to my Kwanzaa "vision board.”

At the end of Kwanzaa (December 2017/January 2018) my family and I created vision boards of things we wanted to see in 2018.  There were a lot of things on my vision board like getting a replacement vehicle, reading Psalm 23 daily, knocking out debt with a plan, getting in better shape, eating better, my dissertation, and teaching more (at colleges) and preaching (teaching about Jesus) more. Of all the things I put on my board, my dissertation was one that felt like a thorn in my side. To take care of this thorn, I had to rearranged my life.  I quit my job and have accepted eight (8) classes within multiple districts as adjunct faculty for the fall.  I have even signed up to do some virtual advising.  It might sound like a lot, but l do not want to miss my shot!

My window of time to complete my dissertation is shrinking. If I don’t get it done soon, I’ll have to start over.  It's dissertation or bust. I have had a lot of detours. None of that matters now!  It’s time to focus on getting the dissertation done or fail.  When it's all said and done, a lot of what I put on my vision board was rooted in faith. I know Jesus has built me to overcome this challenge.  Even before this new attempt of this journey began, He was already doing things to let me know risking so much will be worth the wait; I get to give Him Glory when it is done.  It’s dissertation or bust...it's walk in faith or bust.  I chose to align my faith in what is yet to come rather than focusing on my self-doubt and fear of failure.

So, for the first time in awhile, I know what I'm living for.  Currently, I am teaching at several colleges, working for a start-up, and a non-profit. I am humbled that so many organizations have sought my skills in such a short amount of time.  These opportunities are giving me the right kind of time to work on my dissertation and the right time to be active at home.  Now I have to be cautious and not let the visions of others distract me from my own. I don't know what's next; there is a lot of uncertainty. In the midst of my ambiguity, I am certain I am getting closer to my purpose...that is worth the undetermined!

At the end of September, beginning of October 2018 I begin (again) #ProjectDissertation.  If I am being honest, I cannot be successful without the financial help from others.  For those who have helped me take classes thus far, I thank you.  For those who have prayed (and continue to pray), I thank you. 

I am nearly halfway to raising the funds I need to complete my dissertation.  If you are interested in helping, here are the three ways you can assist me financially, below are the three ways you can help...

Option #1:  

Option #2:  paypal.me/ProjectTheCure

Option #3:  If you would like to support me via mail, please contact me at EnvisionYourSuccessDFW@gmail.com

I look forward to celebrating the victory of completing this dissertation in 2019.

Sincerely,

Elgrie Jones Hurd III
-Grand Canyon University Doctoral Candidate, General Psychology - Industrial and Organizational Psychology Emphasis