Year 2020 Doesn't get the Victory

 

December 23, 2020

This year has been hard for so many reasons. Some of the reasons include...

●     COVID-19 and the pandemic attached to it. Too many love ones died, and too many survivors of COVID-19 were/are undertreated and underserved

●     Hate crimes against Blacks and in the United States gone viral

●     Hate crimes against ethnic/racial minorities and the Queer community at an all-time high in the United States

●     Thousands people out of jobs

●     Students struggling in an overwhelming digital learning environment

●     Leaders focused on themselves instead of the people they serve

In spite of all of the chaos and heartache, we are still here. We are the heart and backbone of the United States of America; we are the underdogs. The odds are stacked against us, yet we refuse to allow 2020 to get the best of us. We will NOT be the losers of 2020.

For many, our strength is revealed in times of crises. We have learned that there's more to us than meets the eye; there is power that we have yet to harness. This power flows through our ability to endure and invigorates our creativity. The fruits of this power are as follows: We have found new ways to serve others, combat debt, build equity, and fight for all of humanity.

All of those who have come before me are part of my inspiration. My elders, community leaders of the present and past, and my ancestors inspire me. They have given up so much in the hope I would have so much more. What a privilege and honor! And I recognize the source of those who inspire me to be strong and creative comes from my original source, Jesus Christ.

I alone am not enough to take on the toxicity of the world. And every day I am reminded I am not alone. On my wrist is a wristband that reads Philippians 4:13: I can do all things through Christ. I believe this with all my heart. I believe even in failures I am victorious. I am victorious because my setbacks don't mean the end...They are setups for the next chapter. The failures remind me the work is not done, because in the end Jesus WILL get the victory. The victory may not end to my liking, but it WILL end with a victory for the King of Kings!

The toxic economic, social, emotional, and spiritual attacks of 2020 will not get the victory in my life. They will not rule everything around me. I will reflect on my source, because with Him impossible is nothing! Find your victories! Celebrate them! Carry the victories into 2021, leaving 2020 in utter defeat.

 -       Elgrie J. Hurd III, Victor of Year
2020

We Haven't Arrived Yet

November 26, 2020

My Madam Vice President-Elect

In 2008 the United States of America (USA) got its first Black President. In 2020 the USA got its first Black Vice President. A Black woman is next in line to be President! I could see many making the argument that we (the USA) have transcended race and that gender roles are no longer barriers in this country. As much as I yearn for this reality, it is still just a dream.

Former President Barack Obama and Vice President-Elect Kamala Harris are not the norm for the Black experience in the United States, they are the exception. Madam Vice President-elect Kamala Harris is not the norm for the experience of women (especially Black women), she is the exception. I am excited about the possibilities of what these two milestones mean for the United States, People of Color and women. Yet, I struggle to celebrate. In my heart I know we have not arrived.

If we truly have arrived in 2020, things that should be norms would no longer be exceptions. For me, the following are not norms...

●     No longer having trepidations about my eldest son making it home safely

●     Not having others associate my success solely with affirmative action or charity, rather than being tied to hard work

A Chuck-full of peace with my Hurd 3rd Crew

●     My daughter constantly feeling beautiful outside our home and not be dehumanized because of her passion

●     Brothers and Sisters of different pigmentation and cultures to stop denying the intentional 
and systemic oppression of Blacks

●     My wife's passion expressed in her to not be seen as angry when she is not. (What she is often doing is gracefully attacking the false sense of supremacy tied to white fragility.) 

The elections of 2020 have shown us that the USA is still divided. We still have citizens who believe changes in laws mandate changes in the hearts of people. That's not how it works. We can make all the laws and execution orders. This only addresses part of the problem. Heart issues defy logic. Heart issues require an embracing of the truth for lasting change. The humanitarian and attorney Bryan Stevenson spoke about the United States having a racial bias legacy. He said, “We haven't really talked much about the legacy of racial bias...I don’t think we can be free...until we address this problem. But to get there, we’re going to have to be willing to tell the truth.” We cannot arrive as a country until we deal with the truth. Ignoring the truth keeps exceptions as exceptions, and stops the expansion of norms we all deserve to experience.

2021 is coming soon. We can hit the reset button, or make 2021 a new version of 2020. I say, "Do better!" Deal with the truths of our country...the good, the bad, and the ugly. That is how we do better! Are you ready?!

-       Elgrie J./Prof. H.

There's More Than Enough

September 12, 2020

I love the film Pay It Forward (2000). I used to show it in my psychology and sociology classes to illustrate how the power of one individual can change the world. I believe it is not just an idea limited to being done in the movies.

In hindsight, I have observed the concept of paying it forward since early childhood. However, it wasn’t until middle childhood and adolescence I appreciated it for what it was. The first person I appreciated paying it forward was my mother. The experience came in an unexpected way. When I was growing up there was a time my mother spent incarcerated. While serving her time she used to help others. She poured into teens who were also behind bars. She shared her mistakes (often holding back nothing), so they did not have to experience some of the more extreme situations through the school of hard knocks. She didn't have to, but she did.

My mother’s road to a different life outside of prison blossomed out of others paying it forward to her. Those people understood the phrase "you don't know what you don't know." They wanted my mom to know; they did not want their pain to be in vain. A great poet once said, “don’t be selfish with your pain.” Our pain is not just for us. When we pay it forward, we model this motto.

I am a husband, father, college graduate, a mentor, a coach, and a professor because people have paid it forward for me. They used their blessings to bless me (in the hope I would be a blessing to others). Every day I seek to use what I have been blessed with to bless others. I do this because I believe in the definition of blessing. The definition of bless is to bestow good of any kind.

For some, the concept of blessing may seem too touchy-feely. So, let me offer another perspective: You should feel obligated to help others for at-least three reasons: 

1. It makes you better. Helping others learn something you have mastered or experienced makes you more knowledgeable on that topic/situation. As you continue to develop your own understanding, you could become a local expert on that topic/situation. This could allow you to parlay it to endless opportunities that could benefit you in the short and long-term.
2. Economically speaking (on a national level), it helps government funding be used in an empowering way. I often hear of complaints of government money being used to help the less fortunate as if it is a burden. (I think that is an oversimplification of efforts to address inequity. This is not the focus on this particular analysis). You want the government’s burden to be lightened?! Step up!!! “Lift while you climb.” When we help empower others, we help the entire nation.
3. If none of these things move you, it may be worthwhile to acknowledge you might have a self-imposed denial of how you arrived. Your success was not derived solely from you. Someone or some people helped you along the way. So why deny it? Why not do what was done for you and be a conduit for others?!

There's this capitalistic myth that there's not enough blessings for everyone to have one. Too many of us get our piece of the pie and act like we can’t share. Why is it OK for others to help you, but beneath you to do the same? In the end, we reap what we sow. So, if paying it forward is not an option for you, what are you sowing?

- Elgrie J./Prof. H.

Living Like You Dying

Dedicated to the Memory of Chadwick Boseman, a King

August 28, 2020

I didn’t know Chadwick Boseman...I don't know his family or a whole lot of details of his back story. I know I love him as an actor. Like watching Jamie Foxx in Ray (2004), I always forget he's not the person he is portraying. Chadwick brought out the empathy in you to feel the emotions of any character he embodied. That is no easy feat...and as a movie goer it seemed so effortlessly...Part of his purpose.

When Chadwick Boseman entered a scene, he
 embodied his character...he made us believe

I don't know Chadwick Boseman. I do know that he battled cancer in the midst of making a bunch of movies. I get it. I get being diagnosed with cancer tends to change everything. It did for me...it tends to push people to live each day like it is your last day (because it just might be). You live like you are dying. So, you give the world every bit of you...leaving nothing in the tank.

IF you survive cancer on this side of eternity, there are no off days. Giving every ounce of energy you have is a requirement...you do it because it is a slap in the face to anyone who didn't physically survive their cancer…I find myself pushing to my limits in all that I do...parenting, marriage, work, fitness, learning...in your mind you tell yourself there's no letting up. You honor those who fought cancer in how you live.

Chadwick Boseman was not just an actor,
he was a King to so many

For those who wanna honor Chadwick, be the best version of yourself. Be the best contributor to humanity that you can be. Stop waiting for a comic book beginning that gives you superpowers. Be great now!

And if being the best version of yourself is not you right now, ask yourself, "why?" Ask yourself, “what are you willing to do to be the best version of you?" For the United States of America, we are NOT the best version of ourselves...and if we are being honest, we have never been. Fortunately, our past doesn't have to be our future. It can be better.

A wise king once shared something that too many people ignored: "In times of crisis, the wise build bridges while the foolish build barriers." What will you build for the future?

-  Elgrie J

#ChadwickBoseman
#ChadwickBosemanForever
#WakandaForever  

Find a Dream Partner

Dedicated to my Dream Partner

August 3, 2020

My Dream Partner, my Sunshine

What does it mean to have a dream partner? It is a person who shares the dream/dreams you have and works with you to make them a reality. Dream partners can be business partners, or family members. For me, it is my wife, my Sunshine. If you know our story, you know that we have been dream partners ever since we met. I met my dream partner at California State Polytechnic University, Pomona. We dreamed there...we built there...I proposed to her there. The best decision I ever made in college was marrying my Sunshine. Yet, it almost did not happen.

My proposal to get married was almost the proposal that never happened. Even though I had the support from members of her family and my family, I was scared to dream with her beyond college life. I was a first-generation college student, I had no wealth, and my car was barely holding on. All I had was “a couple of college credits and my top-notch brain.” I had a dream to change the world. In my mind I thought who would give up a world of comfort for that? Would my Sunshine want to build that dream into a reality with me? This concern hindered my efforts to blow her away with a romantic proposal...I feared she would say no. In my most vulnerable state, she said yes. She said she would marry me and began to dream.

Our marriage has been full of dreams and nightmares. I am thankful the dreams outweigh the nightmares by a long shot. This year, my Sunshine and I dreamed of having our own forever home. In January 2020, we began looking at homes. We were not ready to have our own home, but we wanted to get ideas. We came upon this home not far from us. The moment we walked in, my Sunshine was in love with the house. She saw things I could not see. She was dreaming of possibilities, and I was stuck in reality. Unfortunately, when we began to seriously look at homes, only one of us was dreaming. I was thinking in the now, my Sunshine was dreaming about the future. And then in May 2020, we saw a house. It was nice. It had potential, but there was a problem. My Sunshine pointed out that this home was good for the family right now, but what about the future? We could not grow in this house. At that moment, I realized that I had stopped being her dream partner. My Sunshine was dreaming alone. I was seeing convenience while she was seeing more. My shortcoming rocked me, and I told her, "I want to dream with you." From the moment forward, we dreamed of not settling...we dreamed of a home that would allow our family to grow and bless others.

My dream partner put my commitment to the test. The house we saw in January that she loved, was the first house we saw once we found a realtor to help us. In June, it was still the only house that was aligned with our forever home dream wish list. We drove by it (together and separately). When we drove by it, we prayed about it. If this was not going to be our home, we wanted something just like it. And then one day, we walked by it. We saw a potential neighbor. We introduced ourselves and asked him to pray that we get this house and become his neighbors. Then, we shared our vision with some of our closest loved ones. They encouraged us to go for it. We wrote the seller a letter. In the letter we said…

Our desire is to grow our family. We know to do this, the space needs to be bigger than where we currently reside; welcoming for growth...Over the last few years we have become part of the city. Our children attend the local public schools and we are actively serving the community because we want to contribute to its legacy.

Since we moved to Texas, it has been our dream to have a forever home. We have worked tirelessly to get to this point. Making this home our home will have made the journey worth it. If you accept our offer, you are helping two educators achieve their dreams, so we can focus on helping others achieve theirs. Our desire is to close on July 31^st. This is our wedding anniversary. We feel that closing on this date would be an indelible reminder of the blessings the Year 2020 has brought to our family.

Sold to the Hurd 3rd Crew

The seller did not accept our initial offer; we accepted the counter. We did not close on the house on our wedding anniversary, but pretty close to it. From a sentimental perspective, it was not what we wanted. We also recognized the closing date was not deal breaker either. We had several hiccups along the way. Yet, because we were dreaming together, setbacks were just setups for success to get this home. When one of us was losing confidence on the journey, the other partner reminded us that our journey was bigger than us; our potential impact was bigger than us. Our faith in our dreams were bigger than our doubts. We focused on what was to come, rather than what was.

16 years later, I love how we are still finding new ways to dream. My Sunshine continuously shows me that if we dare to dream, there is no limit to what we can do. Even in the midst of economic uncertainty and a global pandemic, we dreamed beyond what we could see. For years, my wife and I were members of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship, led by Dr. Tony Evans. One of the sermons that stuck with me was his sermon of faith. He defined faith as “acting like it is so, even when it’s not so, in order than it might be so, simply because God said so.” For us, faith requires us to do our part, and letting God do the rest. The challenge is being patient for God’s timing. Thankfully, our faith in God is mutual. We believe we are each other’s dream partner. And that cohesive faith goes a long way. My challenge to others is to find a dream partner. Find someone who dreams with you based on faith, not by sight. For dreams to be what they need to be you have to have faith. Faith that believes impossible is nothing. Dream together! A dream partner must be faithful. You must be faithful with your dream partner. So, dream on!

- Elgrie J., The Dream Partner of Althea C. (my Sunshine)

Free to Pushback, Free to Question

Dedicated to those who claim/want to be allies to Blacks

June 19, 2020

In 2020, part of the world decided to give a damn about Black people in the United States. Yet, more people outside the USA care than in the USA. 2020 became a viral reminder to non-Blacks that my body is still a threat; my wife's body is a threat; my children's bodies are threats. We threaten the perception of the inhumanity assigned to our bodies. And while some cringe at the words, it does not make it any less true. The inhumanity assigned to our Black bodies is caused by a white supremacy curtain that is continuously ignored.

What should come next? Everyone has a strategy. Some ideas seem realistic; some are so over the top I see them as purely entertainment for my imagination. Proven allies and potential allies have been asking for the input of Black people in the U.S. For me, I am at a point where to be effective in what I do, I have to pushback. To keep my mental health where it needs to be, I need to be able to question my allies.

Do you have jellyfish syndrome ally traits? I’m numb to self-perceived allies giving historical and contemporary excuses. I'm not looking for justification; I'm looking for you to step up!!! Yes it's that serious! (It’s always been that serious!) Convenient allies are a problem! If this is you, then you're the problem! Long before there was a term to coin your actions and inactions, you were a problem. When the times get tough, historically why have you hidden? To be clear, I don't want your sadness. Nor do I want your oppressor-group tears because comforting your guilt to drown in my sea of trauma is NOT an option. Jellyfish syndrome ally is your name!!! Good intentions from afar, but your ally behavior is deadly up close, and you don't even know it!

So, I am free to say I don't believe you...I don't trust you. It is gonna take more than some protests or social media posts to woo me. I am free to question your commitment and your integrity. An apology on being tone-deaf does not get you instant access to my heart. I still have more questions. I ask this question: Why now? What's so different about the Spring of 2020 that has caused you to act? White supremacy was real in 1985...it was real in 1992...it was real in 2005, 2006, and 2009...It has never stopped! The evidence of white supremacy has never stopped. And my body has never stopped being in danger or being perceived as a danger. How can I accept apologies without individuals owning the contributions to a system that hates my humanity? Your awareness may be new; the threat to my humanity is not!

When it is all said and done, I'm free to change my mind on how I feel about allies and those who want to be allies. Until then, please don't take it personal. For me, my life is more valuable than your feelings. You are free to pushback; you are free to question. And I am free to do the same!

Unapologetically Black and Proud,

Elgrie J. Hurd III

So What Are You Teaching?

May 9, 2020

This wasn't part of the plan. This isn’t what I wanted to write about, but it is necessary. If I am to honor the teachers who I seek to honor I have to write this. For me, teaching is not about teaching new things. Teaching is often about changing mindsets. As teachers, we often seek to give you a new way to look at something that you are already familiar with. Teachers give words and efficient strategies to what we tend to have already been exposed to. I learned that from my first real mentor, Mr. Rhem Bell. Mr. Bell was like a real-life Furious Styles, the character Lawrence Fishburne played in film Boyz n the Hood (1991). Mr. Bell wanted me to understand the power to real change starts in the mind. Maybe that's why I fell in love with psychology and sociology.

Too many of us think we aren't teachers because we don't have children or because our title is not teacher. But, we are all teachers. We teach others with our words; we teach others with our actions. So, what are you teaching with your words? What are you teaching with your actions? In my fight for humanity, I had a teacher who I have never told her how much she changed my views of the world. I've known one of my Frat Brothers since junior high. I remember being at his house and someone used the phrase “I hate him/I hate you!!!” And then with lightning speed his mother showed up. She said, “don't hate people; hate their attitudes.” In that encounter, she planted a seed in me. I am eternally grateful.

Two teachers gave me two lessons. Two lessons that I try to use every day. I'm not perfect; I have plenty of slip ups. The key is to know when you are slipping up. To know when you are slipping up, you have to recognize mindset roadblocks stopping you from being the best teacher you can be. There are usually three possible mindset roadblocks…

○     #1: Cognitive dissonance: We think one way, but behave in contradiction of that thought

○     #2: Silence: When we know we should say or do something, but we don’t 

○     #3: Guilt: You get defensive on what’s on topic because you know you should be doing more

If we want to change future generations, if we want to change work and community environments, we don't get to be selfish. We do not get to pass the buck for someone else to step up to create the change. We do not get to wait until older generations die. That is not how it works. Their lessons live on if we do not step up. To the teachers who teach change...Thanks! Keep it up! To those who don't...your grace period is over! #DoBetter ...The whole world is depending on you!

-       Elgrie J., an official and unofficial teacher in all things I do

Through Her Eyes...

March 31, 2020

March encourages me to focus on the impact of women in my life. To be clear, I do it all year round...March tends to be my hyper focus. And with the United States joining in the quarantine and social distancing due to COVID-19, I have had more time to reflect.

Through their eyes I learn so much!

As a child, I had the honor to meet several survivors of the World War II Axis Powers’ concentration camps. Despite their inhumane treatment they never lost their humanity. Eventually, I heard the story of Anne Frank. The quote from her diary still moves me...

"In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart. I simply can’t
build up my hopes on a foundation consisting of confusion, misery, and death. I see the
world gradually being turned into a wilderness, I hear the ever approaching thunder, which will destroy us too, I can feel the sufferings of millions and yet, if I look up into the heavens, I think that it will all come right, that this cruelty too will end, and that peace and tranquility will return again."

I love Anne Frank's hope in humanity…Her ability to see the strengths despite the falls. To me, that does not mean you do not call out injustice. It simply points not to throw the baby out with the bath water. For me, my hope in humanity has always come from the women in my life.

Sometimes you get the privilege of having people in your family who get you. They give you hope that others will get you, and that not everyone is a jerk. When I was young, the first two who got me were my mother and my eldest sister. But then life gets real...they both died. I started to believe maybe hope is just a childish idea.

Then in college some woman with afro puffs offers me something I had forgotten about...hope...hope in me. Hope that my pain was NOT in vain. She gave me hope in marriage...hope in having a family...She gave me hope that I would beat cancer...Hope that I would find a job after being unemployed for almost a year even as the bills and stress mount. Most importantly, she gave me hope that forgiving those who wronged me would heal me in ways I could not imagine. Through her eyes I believe this country...the whole world can be better. I believe hope can be found in the present and the future.

I see the future of hope in my daughter, Klarc Joy Vida. Like the sister she is named after, she finds the good in people. Whether it is a school bully, or an unethical elected official. She believes there tends to be more good than bad in people. And in the world that has darkness, she has hope. A LOT OF IT! Hope helps you see the light, no matter how small. I need people like her; she helps me believe that hope for future generations is not lost.

Don't lose hope. Don’t stop calling out injustice. Find people in your life that give you hope. Through the eyes of the top two women in my life, I find hope. I look through their eyes. Hope leads to love. And when we have love, "Let Love Rule!"

- Elgrie J.

It Shouldn't Matter

It Shouldn't Matter

February 28, 2020

Let me reintroduce myself...my name is Elgrie Jones Hurd III. I am a professor of psychology and sociology at a community college. This is not how I usually introduce myself. Yet, there are times I do choose to introduce myself this way because it allows me to be recognized...recognized as a human that requires respect.

Just a reminder...
I'm HELLA BLACK in February.
I got a shirt made to help people out!

February is Black History Month. It was designed as a reminder of how Black people in the United States (and the world) have contributed in a meaningful way. Somehow some misconceptions have happened along the way. One misconception is that Black History Month is only for Black people. Another misconception is that February is the only month to celebrate Black people. Black history is American history; Black history is world history. Recognizing Black people should be done every day of every month. And because Black people are often not recognized as humans, hashtags like #BlackLivesMatter are still relevant.

One of the reasons people use #BlackLivesMatter is because throughout the world, especially in the United States, if you identify (or are identified) as Black there is often a second-class/inhuman treatment that comes along with Blackness. The criminal justice system, the educational system, the entertainment system...any system that exists tends to belittle the worth of the Black experience. #BlackLivesMatter is about equity not equality. Equality means everyone has an equal opportunity. Equality assumes everyone starts off with the same resources (or starting point). We do not live in a world of equality. We do not all start off with the same resources. Equity seeks to create resources to close the gaps that prevent equality from becoming a reality. Hashtags like #AllLivesMatter and #BlueLivesMatter misses the point that #BlackLivesMatter seeks to be inclusive. Until #BlackLivesMatter, a concept #AllLivesMatter is a false statement. Our current state of affairs in the USA shows that Blacks do not matter. Therefore, all lives don’t matter!

Kelvin B. Givens IV,
 also known as "K4"

Earlier in February, the world lost Kelvin Givens, IV. He was a mentee of mine. Someone who was a participant in a workforce training program I used to work for. He died unexpectedly. He was barely 22. I went to the visitation service to pay my respect to his family and him. I even spoke to his family about the impact he had on me. So many people, from all walks of life came to speak of his awesomeness. They all spoke about how their lives were better by knowing him. He was not an inventor; he was not a celebrity; he was a Black man who shined in a way that benefited others. That is NOT why he mattered. He was also a son, a brother, a nephew, cousin, a grandson, and a friend. He existed!!! And that’s why he mattered.

Black History is every day!

Do you know Remi Berriola, Rahyem Hood, Laurine Miles, Romeo Young, Larry Mimms, Esau Johnson, Chandra Joy Shirley, Ida Lee Johnson, or Joan Williams???? I do...I bet if you are not Black, you know someone who identifies as Black. They don't have to be famous. Their existence alone is enough to matter. The only thing that should matter is that the individual is a person. But for this to become a reality, all of us must contribute to validating Black people from all walks of life…Black people with various viewpoints. I challenge every person who reads this to help Black lives matter. I challenge every person who reads this to make time to celebrate Black lives near you. Dr. Seuss wrote “[a] person is a person, no matter how small.” I would like to add to this quote. A person should matter no matter their skin tone; no matter how Black they are. #BlackLivesMatter #IAmCauseWeAe

- Professor Elgrie J. Hurd III, M.A., A.B.D.

No Strings Attached

Dedicated to my Hurd 3rd Crew…

February 1, 2020

My eldest's first recital

January 26th is one of my favorite days of the year. It is my firstborn's birthday. 2020, he turned 13. I wanted to make it special. My son is a simple kid. He did not ask for much. So, I gave him what he wanted, plus a road trip with his maternal grandfather and me. For the whole trip it was all about him. He even got some say in our musical choices for the 6-hour road trip.

On the way back home, my wife sent my son a text. My son said, "Mommy said turn the radio onto a sports radio station.” I did not want to decipher through her coded message, so I called her. She told me some sad news had happened; Kobe Bryant died in a helicopter crash. Later I learned his 13-year-old daughter was on the plane too, as well as 7 other people.

Esau exchanging baking ideas with a professional chef

I thought I would process this as a fan of hoops and a father. Turns out, I processed it only as a father. My appreciation of Kobe Bryant was never about basketball; it was always about his mentality to achieve. It was about his Mamba Mentality; his never quit mentality even when he had nothing left to give. As my kids got older, I read articles and heard interviews with Kobe Bryant. The longer I was parent, the more my appreciation grew regarding his mentality toward wanting to be a better husband; my appreciation grew as it related to his efforts as a father. As I learn more of what did (after his passing), he reminded me of some things…

James Robert tells a story

We don't get to choose how our kids love us. We should not strive to live our dreams through our kids, or think they have to embrace what brought us joy in our lives. As parents, especially as fathers, we need to embrace the moments we get to share with our children.

I have 4 children; 3 boys and 1 girl. I also have 3 goddaughters. Most of them are not into sports like I am. I used to be a little jaded about that. Then I realized what they did for me. They have taught me new things about myself by embracing who they are. Whether it is fashion, acting, singing, martial arts, construction vehicles, poetry, writing, drawing, painting, mythology, comic books, dystopian books, or just being silly. By celebrating who they are I have unlocked a piece of myself I did not know existed (or I had forgotten existed). Daily, they remind me of the privilege of being a parent; of being a dad.

Klarc Joy Vida modeling her fashion design

Fight with all you have to help them see and be the greatness that is within them. Fight for them without a guilt trip. Your children should not feel guilty that you sacrificed for them. They should feel honored and loved by your sacrifice. They should know you do it because you want to; you do it because they are worth it (and then some). Fight because you have been given the opportunity to be a parent. It is a privilege everyone does not get. So, keep fighting.

For those of us that have children, our legacy is in how our children remember us, not how we think we should be remembered. What I want my kids to know is how much I love them; how privileged and blessed I am to be their father...and that I'm here, with no strings attached.

The entire Hurd 3rd Crew children (for now)

Kobe was unapologetically committed to his wife and daughters. He poured all that he had into them everyday like each day was his last. I respect that; I plan to do the same. What type of mentality will you live by?!

  -       Elgrie J.