More Than a Woman...She’s My Sunshine

July 31, 2019

To be clear, I am a hopeless romantic. I went to college with the aspirations of changing the world and meeting the one I would spend the rest of my life with. I met Althea in November 2002. I knew then what I know now…she IS the one for me.  For all of those who are not into the idea that you can have a soul mate; someone made just for you, then this blog post is not for you.

When I started my journey in college, I portrayed something I really did not have; I portrayed confidence. In reality, I did not have confidence I wanted. So, I had to fake till I made it. I did NOT have a lot of value in myself. I did not have value in my physical appearance; I did not have value in identity. It was not self-hate; it was more of a belief that my Blackness (my ethnic/racial identity) was not valued by other Black people. I just wanted to be me. I wanted my version of Blackness that was authored solely by me and valued by others. But, for my first 2 years of college, I did not have the legitimacy I hungered for.

My perceived legitimacy came from my involvement on-campus. In other words, I had value in what I did (the works). I believed my works (to better humanity) earned my value with others. Althea taught me I was wrong. Just being me was enough to be valued. Althea got me. She appreciated my traits (flaws and all). She may not have understood my passion for guys like 2pac or Malcolm X, but she could empathize. She showed me that showing the world who I was and who I knew I was meant to be was just as important as the things I did. She believed in me when I was too stupid to believe in myself.

Althea pushes to embrace the unfamiliar. Sometimes that means trying things I have never tried before, or not letting my family’s past dictate my present or my future. She has told me to be naked in my story.  Be naked in my faith in Jesus…be naked in where I come from does not tell the world where I am going…be naked about my talents and my passion for the betterment of humanity. That nakedness had led me owning my leadership in my own home, embracing my call to teach and empower, and to eventually become Dr. Hurd (officially).

15 years into this journey called marriage, I can say I am more in-love with my Sunshine now than I was 15 years ago. I ache at her absence from my presence more than ever before. I have evolved as her husband, father to our children, and her best friend. At each stage of my evolution, my Althea, my Sunshine was there. She never stopped believing in…never stopped offering feedback…never stopped pushing me. To me that’s being more than a woman. No words I type or orally say will ever equate my appreciation and admiration of my Sunshine. When I call her Sunshine, it is not just a nickname. It is my attempt to put into words the light she has brought into my dark world. Calling her Sunshine is proof that I am deserving of unconditional love from someone who does NOT that have the same earthly bloodline as me.

Althea, my Sunshine, I only have one request… “Always remember us this way!”

Jet Black Shelby Mustangs!

-  Elgrie J.