A Different Perspective

 January 29, 2024

 

To run well, mindset AND perspective matter!!!

Sometime in the recent past I traveled to Southern California…I decided to go for a run at the suggestion of a friend. In transparency I wasn't motivated to run. Every trip I go I pack my running shoes. But lately, my running shoes tend to stay in my bag more often than they are taken out to run. I've been living scared. I'm running from the fear that I can't be the runner I wanna be. But, right before running I had told someone you only need a little faith to conquer a lot of doubt. So, I put my shoes on, switched to running glasses and took off…

…as I ran it was hard. I was thinking - Kid, you outta shape! But that wasn't enough to stop. It wasn't quitting time; it was time to quit listening to the negative. So, I kept running. My running time for the 1st mile was OK. My 2nd mile was trash…near the end of the 2nd mile I got a new perspective…the reason the running was initially so hard was because I was running uphill and didn't even know it. From this new perspective I could see the steepness I took on. It was HELLA steep!

When you get a different perspective from where you started you often get to see things you missed. You may be able to have better strategies and more confidence to finish what you started. In my 3rd mile of the run, I was re-energized and excited. I felt sanguine about the possibility of running faster than I had…the finish line didn't feel as far.

Your current perspective may make your goals seem impossible or improbable. That does not mean how it's gonna end up. If the perspective you are using isn't helping get traction on the situation, find another perspective. Sometimes it is in the form of listening to someone who has sage and is not in your situation...other times it may require you literally moving to another physical location to get the insight you need. (And you might have to move more than once.) What you have to lose is

Perspective matters to see the BIG picture

NOT the question to ask…the better question is what are the possibilities of what can be gained from a different perspective.

It's 2024. Maybe what you wanted to do in 2023 wasn't meant to remain out of your reach. Perhaps you just need to find a different perspective…Victory may be more realistic than you think. Just stay willing to pursue the idea of shifting your perspective for insight you are searching for.

 

Be well! I hope you have a life-altering 2024!
- Elgrie J., former (for now) competitive 5k runner

I Gotta Write My Way Out…

December 27, 2023
 

“Y'all, I caught my first beatin' from the other kids when I was caught readin'
"Oh, you think you smart?"—Blaow!—start bleedin'
My pops tried in vain to get me to fight back
Sister tapped my brains, said, "Pssh—you'll get 'em right back."
Oversensitive, defenseless, I made sense of it, I pencil in
The lengths to which I'd go to learn my strengths and knock 'em senseless
These sentences are endless, so what if they leave me friendless?
"Damn, you got no chill," f*****' right—I'm relentless
I know Abuela's never really gonna win the lottery
So it's up to me to draw blood with this pen, hit an artery
This Puerto Rican's brains are leakin' through the speakers
And if he can be the shinin' beacon this side of the G.W.B and
Shine a light when it's gray out?”
-Lin Manuel-Miranda from “I Wrote My Way Out”

The original Hamilton musical was something I enjoyed when I experienced it. The follow up to the Broadway smash was the remix album featuring various popular Hip-Hop, R&B, and Pop artists. My favorite song is the 2nd track featuring Nas, Aloe Blacc, Dave East, and Lin-Manuel Miranda. I love everything about this remix song. As a kid who was bullied by bullies and poverty long before my mouth found the volume to be loud enough to express what was in my heart, I found my voice in writing.

For some time now, lots of people have been asking me when I am gonna be done with my dissertation. There are so many responses in my head to these inquiries. And I've come to accept that the best response I can give is by writing it out. My short answer is it will be done when it gets done. The long answer is I'll finish when opportunity, support, and my writing find a compromise. Successful dissertations require having committee members to have your back as a doctoral student. It requires making edits in your writing that the faculty want to fit their definition of doctoral research and analysis. This expectation varies from committee to committee. But, no matter who is part of my committee, I gotta remember, I'm a writer. No dissertation committee can take that away from me.

All my life writing has been my refuge…

• Short stories
• Poems
• Narrative essays
• Analyzing the world we live in and the world that once was…
• Even when I became a parent, my short stories became my bedtime stories for my children…

There was a time before I started this 2nd attempt at a doctoral program, I did not think my writing was good enough. Writing blogs and poetry is one thing, but can my writing get me through a dissertation?! At first, I made the mistake of looking for validation during my academic journey from current my doctoral program…I listened to the hysteria of some classmates and their best practices of those who have finished their dissertation, and tried to become a student I thought I had to be…I was too busy trying to write in a way that put my voice on mute. Class after class, I felt hollow…I was giving a writing version of myself I thought my doctoral program expected. And semester after semester I felt like I was missing the mark on my writing assignments.

It took nearly 3 summers into my program at Dallas Baptist University (DBU) to learn about the value of my style of writing in traditional academia…it will not get me the highest grades; it will get me the highest level of tranquility and peace. I need that! That is more valuable than an A…sometimes being me will give an A, other times it won’t, but no matter what my writing will be my ticket to completing my work at DBU.

I must keep writing…but I cannot make the mistake that makes it OK in my mind to justify my desire to slack off from other obligations to focus on writing.  My world should not revolve around my dissertation. My responsibilities don't stop…

-       My dad duties don’t stop
-       Taking care of my health does not stop
-       Being a husband does not stop
-       Teaching full-time does not stop
-       My faith walk does not stop

Finally, I must remember doctoral writing requires LOTS of practice to be an expert. A work year is 2,080 hours…to be great at something, you need at least 10,000 hours…that's nearly 5 full-time working years…so…I won't be a doctoral writing expert when I finish this dissertation. But I believe my writing will be enough to confer my Ph.D. in Leadership Studies from DBU. Don't let the opinions of others get in the way of what you were called to do. Don’t underestimate the importance of surrounding yourself with people who value your gifts. And don’t let self-doubts consume your dreams. If you have a story to tell, tell your story! And if writing is a medium that has empowered you, write
your way out!

Write away!
- Elgrie J

You Against You

 

November 26, 2023

“See that guy staring back at you…That’s your toughest opponent.” – Rocky Balboa (from the film Creed)

Don't let others define your legacy/purpose

All of us want to matter to someone beyond ourselves. For some people, one person is enough…for others, some want to matter to the entire world. We all have different reasons for this desire. I believe it is the foundation of the human experience to have purpose. Jeremiah 29:11 states “…for I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future…”

I think we all have a unique purpose. As a child, I wanted a purpose, and I had no idea how to find it. Because I did not know my purpose, I grew thinking I had to prove myself every step of the way because…

• I was the smallest
• Or the younger sibling of…
• Or the only Black kid
• The first-generation college student
• The kid from poverty
• The charity case of kid who survived more than I am willing to put on into digital words

Thankfully, by the time I got to college, I began to find pieces of my purpose. While I did have it all together by the time I finished college, I kept getting closer. After relocating to Texas and experiencing my 2^nd toxic work environment I finally began to recognize I had more say on my purpose than I thought. The things I was able to control were more impactful on my purpose (not my reality/situation) than I realized. Whether it’s my health, my parenting skills, my husband skills, relationships with others, or my journey in academics…there are many battles. The greatest battle is me against me!!! To win, I gotta move myself out of the way. I need to move my doubt and past failures out of the way. The main character of Creed (2015) had to do the same thing, move outta our own way!

I love the movie Creed (2015). It is a boxing version of my origin story in many ways…Adonis (Johnson) Creed never met his biological father. He was born out of an affair his father had with his mother, while his father was married to someone else. Coming into adulthood, Adonis Creed wanted to prove he wasn’t a mistake. He wasn’t a mistake!!! The only way to prove that was to get out of his own way. He had to move his doubt…he had to move his disbelief out of his own way.

Your Toughest Opponent: You!

At times I have felt like I was a mistake. And that was the lie that tried to hijack my purpose. No matter your story, you are NOT a mistake. Your greatness is not determined by where you came from; it is based on how determined you are to get where you are going. In the film, Creed did not win the boxing title. He lost the fight, but he won. He won because he found himself. Sometimes the gold at the end of the rainbow is the treasure we need, not what we want…it may be what is needed to get started. What parts of you are in your way? Name them! Create a plan to move each of them out of your way. Once they are gone…your journey becomes clearer. So, remember, “it’s you against you!”

 

Be well!
- Elgrie J.

Empathy Ain’t Enough

 

October 31, 2023

Warning: This blog post isn't for everyone.
 

Empathy is a start, but it ain’t enough. Being an ally is a start, but if you stay there, just own your willingness to bow out of the situation. I am looking for partnerships. Someone to fight with me and make my struggle their struggle. I'm not seeking people who have good intentions but are doing more harm than good. In other words, jellyfish syndrome is not welcomed here! Your version of caring and my version of caring are different. Everyone ain’t courageous enough and that’s OK. But if you claim to be here for the work, please know what that means. You got my back…I can trust you and you trust me. You are not afraid to be inconvenienced for something greater than yourself and the social media likes. That ain't everyone…and that's OK. I am not interested in an unconscious diversity checklist. I am looking for others who are willing to bring a reckoning to the status quo…is that you?!

Empathy is NOT teamwork. I'm looking teammates! 

You saying you know Jesus ain’t enough. The Jesus I know is here for everyone who is willing to follow Him. He's here to meet you where you are to get you where you need to be. He wants to offer grace and expects accountability. Shaming and hatred are not His tactics. So, I’m over the ones who say only God can judge but wanna judge everyone without being judged. That ain't empathy…that's elitism. Miss me with that!

I’m looking for people who can distinguish guilt from empathy. They ain’t the same. Guilt is often a temporary mindset. When the guilt fades, will you fade away too? When the cameras turn away, will you turn away too? All these schools throughout the USA are asking their local community to invest…will you stop at empathy, or will you show up because empathy ain't action?

Voting for status quo without solutions hurts all

Will you vote 🗳? Will you vote to invest, or will you push away your burdens and responsibilities? If you vote no, what's your plan of action to fill the need? Are you limited to wishful thinking and comments? Will comments like "that's too bad'' serve as your means of contributing?! Will you continue to rely on misinformation because you refuse to educate yourself on the facts? There's a proverb that states "talking doesn't cook rice." Your empathy doesn't increase funding…. your empathy doesn't stop the roofs of school buildings from leaking when it rains… it doesn't close the digital divide or keep teachers in schools. So, what's your next step after empathy because empathy by itself doesn’t create solutions?

Let's be clear, this is not a shame session… any shame felt by this blog post has an internal source and does not have origins externally from my words that you have read. But don't stop reading this! Stopping is easy…it's the cop out…Be brave and keep pushing. Whether you act or not, the need for change is here. The time is now!

When empathy is no longer enough for you, I'll be here ready to work side by side with you. My hope is this will be sooner than later. “The work is large supply, but the workers are few.”

Be well and empower!

-Elgrie J.

 

I Must Have Forgotten…

 

September 29, 2023

Hip Hop is an influential force in shaping cultures throughout the world. 2023 marks the 50th anniversary of Hip Hop culture. If you were born after the 1990s and/or not familiar with Hip Hop, it's more than music. Some of the most agreed upon elements of Hip Hop are deejaying, rapping, breakdancing, graffiti, knowledge, and fashion. And if you are from the San Francisco Bay Area, your contributions to Hip Hop are often overlooked by the world and by Hip Hop. I recently came across an article by NPR describing the connection of the Bay Area and Hip Hop. (NRP’s article on Hip Hop and the Bay Area.) Reading this article reminded me I must have forgotten some things.

 

It hurts to forget the things that matter!

There's a sweet spot that you strive for in this situation. You want recognition and you also wanna offer a nod to those who paved the way for you. Sometimes it is easy to forget your backstory. Maybe you forget because you don’t think you need it anymore…maybe you wanna forget because you are tired of the hurt from your past…When you forget sometimes it can hinder future success because you dismiss what generated your success in the first place.

In February 2019 I wrote a blog post about being in the thick of my journey to become a full-time faculty member at a community college. I mentioned how growing up in the San Francisco Bay Area made me embrace hustling to reach my goals. Here we are nearly 5 years later since that post, and I have hit a situation that I did not expect. I often talk about being proud of being from eastern Menlo Park. But lately I have forgotten where I come from.

When I say I forgot where I came from it doesn't mean the literal location; I am referring to the lessons and experiences of my past. ALL of my past shaped me. My past has fueled me in a way that made any discomfort that came with the journey worth it. Success is coming my way in ways I could not have imagined. And recently, I forgot what got me here. What got me here was operating on faith, working hard, loving hard, not living for success, and being unapologetically me. Lately, working hard has been the lone element that has remained. In addition, I discovered that challenges and problems don't necessarily disappear with success. Sometimes, new problems appear, and some old problems don’t go away.

I forgot how not focusing solely on the goal gave me energy (and drive) to do things most people were not able to do. Before this recent setback I was still parenting full-throttle, I was still being attentive to my fitness, and I was still seeking to be a hopeless romantic to my best friend that I get to spend the rest of my life with. My journey was not solo, yet I kept convincing myself it was. This made it easy to forget WHO my source is. The film Coach Carter (2005) has a scene where Coach Carter (who is played by the great Samuel L. Jackson) ties his shoes in front of his players and then says, "I did that!" He continued to be over the top in his communication at practice. He wanted the players to know they (as individuals) were not the source of their success. He wanted them to get their minds right. I needed to adjust my mindset and shrink my ego. I didn't achieve success alone. I was provided with people and resources from The Source who is greater than all of us. Now I'm not back where I need to be, but I'm back on track to get there.

Write down reminders of who you are!

I think everyone should strive to reach their goals. I think being focused has value…I think being disciplined so you can accomplish something has value. But living for success ain’t living. Success is only a piece of life. Just because I must have forgotten, does not mean you have to experience my lessons from the school of hard knocks to have the same epiphany. Don't forget where you come from. Don’t shy away from your story that made you who you are. Being authentically you is what has pushed you where you are. Stay true to you! "Remember who you are!"

 

Be well and let your uniqueness shine!
-Elgrie J.

Thank You

August 30, 2023

 

I have read stories about people who found success despite those who wrote them off…despite people denying them success. There are some stories that I can relate to…

•  Tom Brady is a 6-time Super Bowl Champion and was not even a 1^st round draft pick. Brady was drafted as the 199th pick in the 6th round of NFL draft
• Draymond Green was drafted 35th in the 2nd round. He became a 4-time NBA Champion and a Defensive Player of the Year
• Jennifer Hudson was told no on th
  e American Idol show, only to become an Oscar ® award winner
• Oprah Winfrey faced economic hardship and sexual abuse in her early life to become s global icon and entrepreneur
• In 2014, at age 17, Malala Yousafzai from Pakistan became the youngest Nobel Peace Prize winner in defiance of the Taliban 

7 years ago, I read Psalm 23 every day for 2 years. I did not know how much it would help in my journey as a traveling professor. In August 2018, I quit my full-time job and took a chance. For the next 12 months I learned how to be vulnerable and lean on others. For 12 months I had no full-time job, an increasing amount of bills, and acceptance that my family's needs superseded my ego. Whether it was utilizing local food pantries or even being hired at a local Wal-Mart for an early morning shift. Psalm 23 was manifesting before my eyes.

 

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. (Psalms 23:1 NIV)

My family and I may not have had everything we wanted during those 12 months, but we had everything we needed. I believed I could be a community college faculty member that local colleges needed if I was just given a chance. I was given just that. I served as an adjunct professor for numerous college systems (teaching 9+ classes per semester) throughout the Central North Texas area. My goal was to improve my qualifications to be a viable full-time faculty member.

 

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. (Psalm 23:4)

During that time, I underestimated how people would be barriers to my professional goals. I encountered so many naysayers that at times I thought I was walking in "the shadow of death." My doubt grew when the talent I knew I had was not recognized by some of the places I was hired as a part-time employee. Some college systems even passed on giving me an opportunity at all.

For some people, all of these obstacles would be discouraging. That was not the story for me for two reasons. First, I believed God called me for this opportunity. I had a specific prayer every semester of how many classes for this adventure to work financially. Each semester God delivered (and then some). Second, I remembered what I had learned a few years ago…the book The Art of War points out how your enemies can be the key to victory. They can help you identify the pitfalls in your own strategies that can be used against you. I sought to address those pitfalls; implementing solutions to remove "no" from being a possible answer. Below were some of the reasons they said I could not teach full-time at a community college:

• We can't hire you because you have not been teaching long enough
• You don't teach a variety of classes
• You're too young
• Teaching in the K-12 public school system is not relevant teaching experience to teaching postsecondary (college level) education

These reasons for people to say no to me were my unique traits I saw as valuable contributions in the classroom. So, I took every potential excuse made by employers and gatekeepers to deny me and used them. I proved my unique traits did not make me undesirable; they made me an unicorn in higher education.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. (Psalm 23:5)

I often felt Psalm 23:5 was limited to when people die. My experience 5 years ago was an example that sometimes it happens on this side of eternity.

• People prayed for me.
• They offered me opportunities to work
• Offered me meals
• Offered me mentoring
• Offered me a listening ear

All these gifts comforted me when I felt alone…All these gifts built my confidence that I was on the right track…All these gifts strengthened my faith that my prayers were being heard!

 

In August 2019 I officially became a full-time faculty member at a community college. So, thank you to all those who said no to me (whatever their reasons). Thank you to all my enemies! Thank you to all my enemies who didn't even know they were my enemies. Your resistance powered my persistence. My determination was bigger than your ability to say no. My faith in God-The Father was bigger than your doubt in me. As Derek Luke said in Antwone Fisher (2002), “I'm still standing! I'm still strong!!!" And I would not have known any of this without my enemies' willingness to attempt to block my success. THANK YOU!!!

This is faith over doubt manifested!

 
Ye [formerly known as Kanye West] said:
“Now I could let these dream killers kill my self-esteem…
Or use my arrogance as the steam to power my dreams.
I use it as my gas, so they say that I'm gassed,
But without it I'd be last, so I ought to laugh"
Don't let the haters tear you down. Let the haters’ hateration be the fuel to #EnvisionYourSuccess and allow you to say, "Thank you" to them!

#ProjectTheCure continues!!! #ProjectDissertation continues!!!
Dream Big!!!

- Elgrie J./Professor Hurd

Professor Hurd believes in Empathy versus Hateration 

Doing Life Together!

 

July 31, 2023

“God has given us so many reasons…to carry on with this love…” - Kindred The Family Soul

I am a hopeless romantic. And I love finding singers/artists that speak to all the aspects of love. One of those groups is Kindred The Family Soul. I love the group Kindred The Family Soul! They are not just a singing group. They are song writers that happen to be a husband-and-wife tandem. They have been married since 1998. Seven albums and 6 kids later, they are still together. And their story of Black Love has not been drama free. They have had to work through unemployment, financial challenges, and a lack of support from the music industry. Yet, Aja Graydon and Fatin Dantzler remain an example of what living their life together looks like. I think people underestimate what it takes to make marriages work. Marriages that look easy require A LOT of work. I think my marriage to My Sunshine is no different.

“In this life together, we have traveled far.” - Kindred The Family Soul

To be clear, My Sunshine is my best friend. And I mean my BEST friend! There is nothing I cannot tell her (although I am sure she wishes there were things I would keep to myself). This is one of the foundations of your marriage. I love being married to my best friend. I am eager to share my world outside our home; I am even more eager to know what is going on in her mind…I wanna learn how she is evolving in serving our community, as a parent, and most importantly how she is evolving as an individual. I can’t lie, sometimes I get things wrong as a friend. (Probably way more often than I want to admit.) Sometimes I need to learn how to be a better friend. To do this, it requires vulnerability on my end and grace on her end. I am grateful that this formula is still working. As a matter of fact, we are doing better in our friendship than we did when we first began this journey.

This summer I had to study abroad (in Europe) for my graduate studies. It was hard for many reasons…Having dependable friends matters. And on my trip, my friends within my cohort kept me afloat. My relationship with My Sunshine has paved the way for what I expect from friends. I know friends are not easy to come by. Too often what you think are friendships, are toxic, one-sided relationships. The benefit is just for one person. Too often people claim they are your friends just because they know of you. That’s not how I would define a friend. Friendships are mutually beneficial. They may not benefit each person the same way, but both individuals are enhanced from the experience. I have learned the hard way that quality friendships do not come in large quantities. They are rare and are not something to take for granted. The term friend is not something I use loosely with everyone. The people I call friends are more like family to me. True friendships are full of give and take. I am grateful for the ones I have…I am grateful for my best friend who I get to spend the rest of my life with. 

“You’ve got to hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on… to me!” - Kindred The Family Soul

 

This marriage to my best friend is a joint venture. It is NEVER a 50/50, but it is ALWAYS a team effort. It is something that we both are committed to. This is the second part to the foundation of our marriage. Our marriage is rooted in our shared faith and values. It may seem cliché, but it should not be taken lightly. I have heard some people say it doesn't matter what couples believe if you have love. That's nice on a Hallmark card, but I have yet to see love alone keep a relationship afloat for the long haul. My Sunshine and I didn’t just fall into marriage and things worked out just because we loved each other. We have been working on this relationship for over 20 years. We were working on it long before we were married. We discussed our career aspirations, finances, and children before we tied the knot. We didn't start out on the same page…we moved from compromise to finding a third way…It does not mean it has been easy. Tension has arisen…stayed…and left regarding finances, career, and children. And news flash, sometimes the tension on these topics returns in different ways. We choose (as a unit) to be flexible and adapt how we engage in these topics depending on the reality we are presently facing.

 

We are 19 years in this thing called marriage!!! We have experienced so much…we have found success despite the odds being against us. But no matter what has happened, we have lived it together, helping each other every step of the way. Sadly, in this contemporary world we live in, making it to 19 years in your first marriage is not the norm. But that statistical fact does not deter us, it motivates us. We are confident about making it to 20 years and beyond (if we are still breathing this side of eternity).


To my Sunshine…we are just getting started in this life together! “If you’re a bird, I’m a bird!” Let’s
keep flying!!!

Jet Black…
-Elgrie J.