Imprisonment of a Dream

 

May 31, 2025

Some people tell you to do everything you can to achieve your dream, no matter the costs. I can see why people would push that narrative. It’s about showing your commitment…it’s about your will to sacrifice for the prize. But I have a question: What’s the point if you lose the things that made the dream worth achieving, it really a dream worth holding onto?! I get the privilege to wear many titles. I am a husband, a father, an uncle, a brother, a son, a nephew, a cousin, and a devoted friend. I value the relationships that come with these titles. And if I have to lose them for a dream, then that may not be the dream for me.

Don't let your dream trap you!

Some people are so locked in their pursuits their dream, to achieve it the dream turns into a nightmare. It does not take much debating to suggest people who are incarcerated want to be free…what’s surprising is sometimes people who are free allow their dream to isolate them so much they lose their freedom. Don't let your dream become your nightmare. Don't have tunnel vision that blocks you from the improv necessary to keep your dream alive. Don't dismiss the lifelines to your dream that appear in unorthodox ways. To dream big often requires using tools and perspectives you couldn't imagine because you were dreaming too small!

On a 2025 The Pivot podcast episode featuring Anthony Mackie the conversation moved to the topic of individual success. Anthony Mackie talked about people who are successful are often chosen…it’s not just necessarily their skills. Another interview on The Pivot podcast, they interviewed the musician Jelly Roll. The lead host is a former NFL player. He said that he was not the most talented football player and a lot of people who were more talented but succumbed to the temptations of the world. If you do not succumb to the world and the world gets to see your talents, remember you are chosen. That means use your talents, don’t waste them. That also means, don’t be selfish with your talents. You get to unlock more of your dream when you find ways to help others discover and develop theirs.

See your incomplete dream differently!

Some of you all reading this cannot relate to the idea of your dream becoming a reality. All my dreams never came  true. And there’s a good chance some of my dreams will remain an eternal dream status. This does not mean you got it all wrong. Sometimes you choose life over dreams. Sometimes you choose a purpose that outshines your dream idea even on the cloudiest days. You gotta remember that   you don't need to be imprisoned by what your dream did   not become…celebrate aspects of your dream that were not deferred. Build on what has manifested into reality and   reclaim what was deferred on your terms! Relax! Take a deep breath! Don't worry…you got this!!!

Your Dream Fan,
Elgrie J. Hurd III

Present Loss for Future Gains

 A love letter inspired by my children…

April 30, 2025

“My hope is what I can't give you now was to give you what you need in the future.” - Unknown

My kids seem surprised that I work all year. Adulting is hard. It is such an honor to be able to serve my wife and my children with my ability to teach. With that comes the challenge of finding The Sweet Spot in working quality time with family and self-care. It's hard to get it right. It's hard not to let what you want your family to have supersede the need to appreciate what they already have. Some days I get it right. Some days I get it wrong.

My constant ask of my kids is for them to forgive me. If you are a parent reading this, maybe you will get my struggle. I wanna give them more so they can do more with less. I want my children to be able to see the benefits of what we did for their children…and if they're so privileged, their children's children. I want to create a legacy of spiritual, academic, and financial wealth. If that can be created, then then maybe we got it right…and even though there was some discomfort in the process, the hope is that one day my children will see the reason why. The hope is that my impact was lined with my intentions, and a little Grace is given by my children to me.

So if I get it all wrong, I hope that my intentions are close to my impact. I hope that my children can see what I was trying to do. On the other hand, maybe they won’t understand…Maybe this blog is just an excuse to come up short and not be held accountable. Maybe it is it and ask them to move on. I am not really sure how it's all going to play out. What I know is this: I love them! I only want the best for them and that's always been at the center of what I do…At the same time, I only get one shot at this parenting thing…and sometimes I don’t get the luxury to sacrifice the present for the benefit of the future.

Where is the sweet spot? I don't know. My hope is that my delay in learning the perfect mix of preparing for the future versus living in the now does not do more harm than good. And if my children get the privilege to become parents, my constant prayer is that a foundation was built for them to learn from my pain and offer parenting in a way that I dreamed of becoming a reality.

A father who is always learning,
Elgrie J. Hurd III

This Ain't No Solo Project

March 31, 2025

Changing the world ain't no solo project! - Unknown

Ms. Avery is here for the team!

I got the privilege of meeting Ms. Avery. Before she became a teenager, she had already served jail time for the rights so many of us take for granted. And more than 60 years later she's still at it. Why? Because social charge ain't no solo project. She understands fighting for the betterment of humanity does not have a retirement plan. It's a lifetime contract! Many of us are in breach of our contract to better humanity. Because of these acts of insubordination, others can't complete their roles to better humanity. We gotta do better!

The privilege of being a professor who teaches dual credit students is that I get to interact with teenagers and get perspectives that others have been disconnected from for decades. It's important because teenagers are not simply the future, they're the present and the future they are the today and the tomorrow. It's important that we hold on to that perspective. A lot of high school students taking college courses (or just high school students in general) have this misconception that their success is a solo project. They have this belief that they must do everything on their own and they should never have to ask for help. The logic is if they need help, then they're doing it wrong. To anyone reading this: if you've ever felt this way, I am here to tell you that’s a bold-face-lie! It means the collective has failed you! (Sometimes our egos are part of the failure.)

Here’s the truth: success is far from a solo project. When I think about my dissertation process and how overwhelming it has been at times. It is most overwhelming when I forget that my dissertation is not a solo process. My dissertation is a team project. I might be the face of the dissertation; my name might be the author, but there are so many others moving behind the scenes to make sure that I can get to the finish line. There is my dissertation chair…she is as cool as the other side of the pillow AND a rockstar! She helps me see through the fog of this dissertation journey and reminds me I'm not as far off as I thought, no matter how much doubt is trying to control the intricacies of my thought process. When I think about my household…my Hurd 3rd Crew, I find peace. Leading the way, in my beautiful bride, My Sunshine, who sacrifices so much. She creates space so that I can have the quiet time to be able to write and reflect in a manner that allows me to continue along with this process. My kids give me Grace and are extremely patient in their willingness to rearrange dates that are already scheduled with them. There are countless others who are also part of my support system. My support system understands that I can't do it all by myself because this ain't no solo project.

So, what does this mean for you? What does this mean for the individual who is busting their chops and feeling like they're doing it wrong? Well part of the challenge is being willing to say, “Hey! I need help!” Another part of the challenge is recognizing that you are the face of your success, but you alone do not make your success. So, what are you gonna do? How much are you willing to adjust your mindset and recognize that you need people?

When we think about the state of the world…when we think about the state of the United States and we think about all the polarizing things that are dividing us, we gotta find a starting point. If the ultimate goal for this country is to find any type of real healing, we must embrace that making that a reality ain’t no solo project. One person is not going to save the nation…one person is not going to fix it all. It’s gonna take a (national) team effort!

The acronym T.E.A.M. stands for together everyone achieves more. So, if people want to team up with you, let them! If you think you gotta be solo, think again! The small things and the societal-changing things are a team project. Remember, life isn't meant to be done alone!

Your teammate,
Elgrie J. Hurd III

 

Don't Look Back

 

February 28, 2025

There's a historical story of a man named Lot. He and his wife were told not to look back as they were being rescued from violence. Unfortunately, Lot's wife looked back. When she did, she was turned into a pillar of salt. There's a painful lesson there. Sometimes, looking back at where you come from does more harm than good.

Move forward; look forward

Earlier today, I spoke to some colleagues about how to navigate the hidden culture of the higher education industry. I told them, you gotta be willing to make yourself uncomfortable and do things you aren't used to doing. I got a lot of head nods, which is always encouraging. My hope is that all attendees will move to the next step and not be like so many others.

I'm over the people who keep recycling the following idea: I want things to be different [but they don't change anything]. They don't really wanna change. They want better results with old strategies. Too many people refuse to acknowledge an important truth: we like the idea of change but not the process to make it last. We want to remain in a state of comfort even when we need to accept being uncomfortable to get the results we want.

In February 2019 I wrote a blog post ( I’m Not Afraid of the Hustle). Growing up where I did, I had to learn to work smarter. Hard work does not guarantee anything because the rules for success keep changing. There's a podcast called The Pivot. The podcast has had several guests that have been interviewed, so that the audience (and the hosts) get details of the journey that has led to their guest's success. The last question they ask their guest is about a pivot in their life that was a game changer. This thought process has value beyond the podcast.

Pivoting isn't a one-time thing…if you want lasting success, your pivoting effort must be on-going. The change you want ain't for everybody! Some of you reading this need to know your biggest barrier is YOU! Life and/or circumstances have beaten you down to the point you believe your possibilities are indefinite impossibilities. For some of you, you must deal with the haters who don't wanna see you do well. Often those haters are people you admire and are part of your inner circle. Regardless of which one is your biggest barrier, you need to break free. You gotta move that barrier from your presentation to your past. 

There's a time and place to look back. When you have emerged out of the storm and you are thriving, then it's OK to consider looking where you came from. (If you gotta question if you are ready to look back, you ain’t ready!) But, when doubt and fear are leading the charge, put their sounds on mute! Don't look back! Keep your eyes on the prize that's in front of you!

Be well!
- Elgrie J.

Look How Far You've Come

 October 31, 2024

 Sometimes we normalize our reality. Some of us dismiss the fact that we were not always where we (currently) are. We often forget how far we have come. Unfortunately, when we do this, we miss an opportunity to build our confidence and understand our impact on the world. It also stops us from dreaming. When we accomplish a goal or live out a dream, we are giving ourselves permission to dream again. We are giving ourselves permission to create new goals.

There was a time when my 1st-born didn't believe in his running abilities. No one other than his dad was speaking to his ability. Eventually, a few coaches took notice. However, his belief was not aligned with theirs. He was stuck in where he started versus where he actually was. My son ran cross country all four years of high school. When he started 4 years ago, his team was not a team…they were individuals who were wearing the same uniform. This year was different. This year my son and his teammates were reflective. They didn't dwell on what they hadn't done. They celebrated where they come from. They lived in the moment. This approach carried into almost every race they had. And while their season didn't end the way they wanted, their appreciation of where they came and what they accomplished can never be taken from them. They created a new culture that has the potential to be part of the legacy they leave behind.

I am so excited about where I am in my life! I am so excited about what I get to do for my family and my community. My excitement is rooted in refusing to let my “what ifs” steal the excitement and peace of mind of what is going on in the here and now! Every setback and every lesson have built the foundation I need to thrive in the now. I needed doors shut on me…I needed disruptions and interference that were thrown my way…These experiences gave me humility and gratitude that were essential to personal and professional growth.

In the not-too-distant past, I got to take in how far I’ve come in a way I have never done before. I have always been a fan of Dr. Michael Eric Dyson. From the way that he writes, to the way he speaks, I have been inspired. My early research interests were supported by the writings of Dr. Dyson. When I was working on my master’s at San Jose State University, my research was focused on Hip-Hop. I was examining the good, the bad, and the ugly of Hip-Hop culture. Hip-Hop has been part of my cultural experience long before I had words to describe it. And in graduate school, I wanted to do my part to offer deeper insight into the complexities of Hip-Hop. My research led me to analyze the complexities of Tupac Shakur. There was a lot written about Tupac and Hip-Hop that I used for references. Nothing was as influential to me as the works of Dr. Dyson.

As a graduate student, I often could not afford a lot of the books I needed. Thankfully, I went to a university that had an awesome library. One of the books they had was Dyson’s Holler If You Hear Me (2001). I would spend nights reading and re-reading it…I would make notes in my 3” x 5” pocket memo pad that I still had from my undergraduate studies. Because the book was not mine, I wanted to make sure I made exhaustive notes. I wrote down direct quotes, page numbers, and my own commentary. I took so many notes, I almost ran out of space in my memo pad. I remember wishing I owed the book, so I could engage with the text like I had with books I owed. I did not know when, but I knew one day that would change.

That was 2005-2006. Now it is 2024. It is mind-blowing how far I have come! While I do not buy every book that could offer insight, I have more books with my handwritten responses than I did back at San Jose State. I have had the chance to review numerous textbooks and even get recognition by the authors in a few of them. There was a time when I just wanted people to give me a shot in academia. Now, I get the privilege to be requested as a subject matter expert. I have the honor to stay in touch with many of those who have mentored me. They have gotten a chance to see me mature. I have also been able to offer sage to those who are already full of so much wisdom. I thank them constantly for how they have blessed me. I see the value in full-circle moments, and I attempt to identify them as often as I can.

October 25, 2024, gave me another chance to have a full-circle moment. I was invited to attend a dinner where Dr. Michael Eric Dyson was being honored for his literary works. I brought two of my Dyson books and a pen with the hopes I could get an autograph. I arrived when he arrived; I parked as he was parking. We walked into the venue at the same time. He said good evening, and I could not say a word…I was too overwhelmed to say anything. Then, for a brief moment after the ceremony, he was alone. I thanked him for his writings. I told him that I wrote my master’s project on Tupac Shakur. I told him that his writings helped me share my thoughts on Tupac. I told him my occupation and he told me he was proud of the work I was doing. We took pictures. He signed my books, and we took more pictures. If you told me in 2006, I would be taking pictures with Dr. Michael Eric Dyson like we were besties, I would have never believed you. But it happened…it is an experience I’ll never forget.

Today is possible because of yesterday. Tomorrow is possible because of today. We often make the mistake of not remembering our personal and/or professional evolution. We manifest our goals more than we don't. It has been said that you need 5 positive comments to balance out one negative comment. For everything in your life you view as a failure, there are at least 5 things you have accomplished. My 2004 paved the way for my 2024. In those 20 years, there's more to celebrate than to dwell on. My belief is that is also true for you. If you look at how far you have come, I believe you should consider a celebration dance. Until then, I'm doing it for you!

 

Be well!
-Professor Elgrie J. Hurd, III

Find the Finish Line!

August 30, 2024

To my Sunshine 🌞, Dr. Barker, Dr. Ng, Dr. Danico, and Dr. Humber for believing in me when I did not believe in myself.  

I met my Sunshine 🌞 in 2002. When we first met, we talked about our biggest dreams. One of my biggest dreams was to earn a Ph.D. But, if I was being honest, it was just a dream. I had no idea what it took…my Sunshine 🌞 knew I could get it done. She didn't know when, but she knew it would happen…she knew I would reach the finish line. She believed so much that she changed my name in her cell phone to Dr. Hurd. My Sunshine 🌞 paved the way for others to call me Dr. Hurd. I appreciate all who saw the finish line for my doctoral journey. Unfortunately, I couldn't see it. I wasn't unaware of what I had or how to get across the finish line.

In high school I learned that I found another gear to run when I saw the finish line. Why does that matter? Because no matter the distance of the race…no matter how tired I was, there was ALWAYS something left in my energy tank. Knowing this gave me the confidence at the end of every race to catch whoever was in front of me and get to the finish line with everything I had. For many aspects of my life, this approach has worked. Unfortunately, sometimes effort isn't enough. Recently, my doctoral journey at Dallas Baptist University (DBU) has reminded me of a journey where effort was not enough to get to the finish line. September 2018 was my final attempt to finish what I started. I was enrolled in a Ph.D. program at another university off and on for nearly a decade. I had completed all my course work...I began working on the first two chapters of my dissertation. And then it all came to an end. I did not finish. I may have been close, but I could not see the finish line. No one in the program believed in me; I struggled to get those who were assigned to serve on my dissertation committee to see value in my topic. It led me to think maybe I finally met my academic match. Maybe this Ph.D. thing wasn't in the cards for me.

As a first-generation college student, having people who believe in me has always mattered…when I first came to DBU, I asked the provost and the program director, “Why did you all take me into your program when I didn't finish the last doctoral program I was in?” And they said, “What you submitted combined with your interview gave us the idea that you had a chance to actually finish what you started, given the right resources.” …Now, how the right resources were interpreted was often different between how I saw it versus how the university saw it...And while it was true, I did have some faculty who believed in me. I don't know if their belief in me alone could counteract my self-doubt from past attempts and the faculty who didn't believe in me. (And for those who didn't believe in me, it wasn't the fact that they specifically said they didn't believe in me, it was their unintentional dismissal of things I brought to the table that went against the status quo that already existed in academia.) It was having classmates who were in the trenches with me who not only had a similar goal to complete this journey, but their stories were culturally relevant to me and my stories were culture relevant to them. And so, when I hit my dark spots, they shined light for me. And when they were in their darkest spots, I shined light for them. It was my family making sacrifices and my friends who already had a Ph.D. becoming my hype team when I was deflated. All these resources served as opportunities for iron sharpening iron. These resources helped me in undergrad to fight through challenges that seem insurmountable. In my first master's program, these resources helped me overcome academic rejection from other universities, navigate career choices/research ideas, and overcome systemic discrimination that exists in our criminal Justice system. And so, we fast forward to 2024 and I was reminded how leaning on my village still matters!

I might be accomplished in many things, but when it comes to navigating academics beyond my job duties, it often feels overwhelming. It often feels like I'm not good enough. Earlier this month I had to complete my written and oral comprehensive exams to become a doctoral candidate at DBU. The comprehensive exams have been talked about and presented as the big scary monster in the closet since the first day of the program. Many of my classmates were overwhelmed about these exams before we got through our 1st month of our program! As we approached August 2024, many classmates had different strategies on how they were going to be successful and how they needed to prepare for these comprehensive exams. In a doctoral program, there isn't 1 finish line…There are 2 finish lines. One finish line was passing the comprehensive exams. The other finish line is finishing your dissertation. For me, I always saw the finish line for the comprehensive exams. I believe that my past experiences and my understanding of learning and the application of learning would collide with the comprehensive exams…I believed I would get the victory. At times, the hysteria of classmates, the cryptic tales of graduates sharing their journey sometimes clouded my ability to see the finish line. When I got away from all that chaos and put on my noise-reduction academic headphones, I found clarity, and I went back to what I knew to prepare myself for success.

Just like when I ran 5ks, I had something no one could take away from me. And when it came to the comprehensive exams, I knew I had been preparing for this since the 1st day I started…Every class in every discussion I tied it to a general research idea and preparation for the comprehensive exams. So, when I got the results back that I had passed all parts, to say I was elated is an understatement. It was also vindication that I truly had seen that first finish line.

I can’t lie, this second finish line is unfamiliar. It’s a place I've never experienced before and my previous attempt to complete a Ph.D. finish line did not go as planned. But this experience is different for all the right reasons. I believe in the possibilities…I believe the possibilities can be my reality. I understand everything that did not happen as planned has paved the way for everything that is happening right now. For the first time everything's coming together and something that was once a scattered puzzle, is now lacking one final piece for completion. And as for someone who's not big on puzzles, it's cool that I know where the final piece is and where to put the final piece. I know where the final piece is because I have been given the cheat code by so many people who have walked with me. Every step of this journey, it prepared me…and I see! I'm able to see the glitch in the matrix…Sometimes the glitch was my doubt, which was in hibernation. I now know how to move that doubt out of the way. I know what it takes to get there! I'm here for it! I've trained and prepared for this day. And the finish line is not far.

When you are in unfamiliar territory, some of us need someone/something to assure us we will be fine. Sometimes we need a reminder we are on the right track towards the finish line until we can see/envision the finish line. Sometimes it's the people around us. Sometimes it's a feeling you are on the right track. Sometimes it's the voice of God. Sometimes it's all of those. I can't say what it will be for you to help you get to the finish line that seems impossible or that's part of a whole new journey that you'd never experience before. What I can say is if you want to get there…if you want the victory…if you want the confidence, tap into the things that have given you confidence in the past, and figure out how to parlay those into something new and amazing. I look forward to completing my academic race. My hope is that you get to cross all the finish lines that you never thought were possible because impossible is nothing!

The finish line is closer than you think…that is true for me too. To get to my doctoral journey finish line, I must utilize some of the strategies I mastered as a distance runner: I gotta minimize distractions; I gotta channel my energy on efficiency. That means I may reply to communication slower, and I may have less fellowship with the people who have been part of my village. If you know me, that is a big ask. But it is what I gotta do. It is what I owe to all of those who have paved the way for me. I don't know if that means this blog goes on a hiatus or if this blog continues to be a training ground for my writing…What I do know is, I see the finish line! It is not a matter of if, it is a matter of when! Thank you for celebrating my journey to the next finish line. Watch me work!!!

 

Elgrie J
- Doctoral Candidate, Leadership Studies, Gary Cook School of Leadership, Dallas Baptist University

When We Collide

July 31, 2024

I love the song “Collide” by Tiana Major9 & Earthgang. It is not a long song, but it is a powerful song (to me). It was used as one of the songs for the film Queen & Slim (2019). I have thoughts about the film. Right now, the focus is the song. The first verse speaks to how I feel about my marriage with my Sunshine. Over the years there has been a lot of commentary about our marriage. And while people are welcome to their opinions, I have learned over the years the only (earthly) opinions that really matter about my marriage are the opinions that come from my Sunshine and me. In addition, it is safe to say that we both have embraced the collision that is us. Our collision has created a beautiful disaster that is 20 years of marriage! Our collision has created a beautiful disaster of 4 children...joint accomplishments college, in the community, and in church. I know none of this is possible without our first collision in November 2002…

Every collision/encounter we have with others serves a purpose. My Sunshine and I did not just meet each other by accident. I am a firm believer that every interaction we have with individuals has a purpose. While I didn’t know the purpose of our collision, I knew two things in November 2002…I knew that she was worthy of being appreciated and celebrated long before I knew I would spend the rest of my life with her. 

I think if someone asked me how we got to 20 years of marriage I would say we have come this far by learning from our mistakes and doing better. (I know I hold the record for mistakes and learning from mistakes.) The easy part is colliding and falling in love; the easy part is saying I do at your wedding. The hard part is trying to figure out what to do. When the excitement about the initial collision fades, the challenge is to find new ways to collide. It's important to tap into all ways you can to collide and to recognize you have the privilege of being with your best friend, every single day of your life.

To my Sunshine, I am so grateful that we collided in November of 2002… I am ecstatic that our collision has led to 20 years of making a life with you.  We have collided with our dreams; we have collided with the ways we wanna support our children…We have collided in the way that we want to honor God and in 20 years of being Married, I realize that there has been no collision on this planet that I have ever experienced (outside of God) that has been so life-changing like my collision with you. And I look forward to finding new collisions for us to have every single day. My Bride, I love you! I am looking forward to 20 more years…if you'll have me! 

Jet Black…
Elgrie J. Hurd III
-Your Collison/Beautiful Disaster Partner