Find the Finish Line!

August 30, 2024

To my Sunshine 🌞, Dr. Barker, Dr. Ng, Dr. Danico, and Dr. Humber for believing in me when I did not believe in myself.  

I met my Sunshine 🌞 in 2002. When we first met, we talked about our biggest dreams. One of my biggest dreams was to earn a Ph.D. But, if I was being honest, it was just a dream. I had no idea what it took…my Sunshine 🌞 knew I could get it done. She didn't know when, but she knew it would happen…she knew I would reach the finish line. She believed so much that she changed my name in her cell phone to Dr. Hurd. My Sunshine 🌞 paved the way for others to call me Dr. Hurd. I appreciate all who saw the finish line for my doctoral journey. Unfortunately, I couldn't see it. I wasn't unaware of what I had or how to get across the finish line.

In high school I learned that I found another gear to run when I saw the finish line. Why does that matter? Because no matter the distance of the race…no matter how tired I was, there was ALWAYS something left in my energy tank. Knowing this gave me the confidence at the end of every race to catch whoever was in front of me and get to the finish line with everything I had. For many aspects of my life, this approach has worked. Unfortunately, sometimes effort isn't enough. Recently, my doctoral journey at Dallas Baptist University (DBU) has reminded me of a journey where effort was not enough to get to the finish line. September 2018 was my final attempt to finish what I started. I was enrolled in a Ph.D. program at another university off and on for nearly a decade. I had completed all my course work...I began working on the first two chapters of my dissertation. And then it all came to an end. I did not finish. I may have been close, but I could not see the finish line. No one in the program believed in me; I struggled to get those who were assigned to serve on my dissertation committee to see value in my topic. It led me to think maybe I finally met my academic match. Maybe this Ph.D. thing wasn't in the cards for me.

As a first-generation college student, having people who believe in me has always mattered…when I first came to DBU, I asked the provost and the program director, “Why did you all take me into your program when I didn't finish the last doctoral program I was in?” And they said, “What you submitted combined with your interview gave us the idea that you had a chance to actually finish what you started, given the right resources.” …Now, how the right resources were interpreted was often different between how I saw it versus how the university saw it...And while it was true, I did have some faculty who believed in me. I don't know if their belief in me alone could counteract my self-doubt from past attempts and the faculty who didn't believe in me. (And for those who didn't believe in me, it wasn't the fact that they specifically said they didn't believe in me, it was their unintentional dismissal of things I brought to the table that went against the status quo that already existed in academia.) It was having classmates who were in the trenches with me who not only had a similar goal to complete this journey, but their stories were culturally relevant to me and my stories were culture relevant to them. And so, when I hit my dark spots, they shined light for me. And when they were in their darkest spots, I shined light for them. It was my family making sacrifices and my friends who already had a Ph.D. becoming my hype team when I was deflated. All these resources served as opportunities for iron sharpening iron. These resources helped me in undergrad to fight through challenges that seem insurmountable. In my first master's program, these resources helped me overcome academic rejection from other universities, navigate career choices/research ideas, and overcome systemic discrimination that exists in our criminal Justice system. And so, we fast forward to 2024 and I was reminded how leaning on my village still matters!

I might be accomplished in many things, but when it comes to navigating academics beyond my job duties, it often feels overwhelming. It often feels like I'm not good enough. Earlier this month I had to complete my written and oral comprehensive exams to become a doctoral candidate at DBU. The comprehensive exams have been talked about and presented as the big scary monster in the closet since the first day of the program. Many of my classmates were overwhelmed about these exams before we got through our 1st month of our program! As we approached August 2024, many classmates had different strategies on how they were going to be successful and how they needed to prepare for these comprehensive exams. In a doctoral program, there isn't 1 finish line…There are 2 finish lines. One finish line was passing the comprehensive exams. The other finish line is finishing your dissertation. For me, I always saw the finish line for the comprehensive exams. I believe that my past experiences and my understanding of learning and the application of learning would collide with the comprehensive exams…I believed I would get the victory. At times, the hysteria of classmates, the cryptic tales of graduates sharing their journey sometimes clouded my ability to see the finish line. When I got away from all that chaos and put on my noise-reduction academic headphones, I found clarity, and I went back to what I knew to prepare myself for success.

Just like when I ran 5ks, I had something no one could take away from me. And when it came to the comprehensive exams, I knew I had been preparing for this since the 1st day I started…Every class in every discussion I tied it to a general research idea and preparation for the comprehensive exams. So, when I got the results back that I had passed all parts, to say I was elated is an understatement. It was also vindication that I truly had seen that first finish line.

I can’t lie, this second finish line is unfamiliar. It’s a place I've never experienced before and my previous attempt to complete a Ph.D. finish line did not go as planned. But this experience is different for all the right reasons. I believe in the possibilities…I believe the possibilities can be my reality. I understand everything that did not happen as planned has paved the way for everything that is happening right now. For the first time everything's coming together and something that was once a scattered puzzle, is now lacking one final piece for completion. And as for someone who's not big on puzzles, it's cool that I know where the final piece is and where to put the final piece. I know where the final piece is because I have been given the cheat code by so many people who have walked with me. Every step of this journey, it prepared me…and I see! I'm able to see the glitch in the matrix…Sometimes the glitch was my doubt, which was in hibernation. I now know how to move that doubt out of the way. I know what it takes to get there! I'm here for it! I've trained and prepared for this day. And the finish line is not far.

When you are in unfamiliar territory, some of us need someone/something to assure us we will be fine. Sometimes we need a reminder we are on the right track towards the finish line until we can see/envision the finish line. Sometimes it's the people around us. Sometimes it's a feeling you are on the right track. Sometimes it's the voice of God. Sometimes it's all of those. I can't say what it will be for you to help you get to the finish line that seems impossible or that's part of a whole new journey that you'd never experience before. What I can say is if you want to get there…if you want the victory…if you want the confidence, tap into the things that have given you confidence in the past, and figure out how to parlay those into something new and amazing. I look forward to completing my academic race. My hope is that you get to cross all the finish lines that you never thought were possible because impossible is nothing!

The finish line is closer than you think…that is true for me too. To get to my doctoral journey finish line, I must utilize some of the strategies I mastered as a distance runner: I gotta minimize distractions; I gotta channel my energy on efficiency. That means I may reply to communication slower, and I may have less fellowship with the people who have been part of my village. If you know me, that is a big ask. But it is what I gotta do. It is what I owe to all of those who have paved the way for me. I don't know if that means this blog goes on a hiatus or if this blog continues to be a training ground for my writing…What I do know is, I see the finish line! It is not a matter of if, it is a matter of when! Thank you for celebrating my journey to the next finish line. Watch me work!!!

 

Elgrie J
- Doctoral Candidate, Leadership Studies, Gary Cook School of Leadership, Dallas Baptist University

When We Collide

July 31, 2024

I love the song “Collide” by Tiana Major9 & Earthgang. It is not a long song, but it is a powerful song (to me). It was used as one of the songs for the film Queen & Slim (2019). I have thoughts about the film. Right now, the focus is the song. The first verse speaks to how I feel about my marriage with my Sunshine. Over the years there has been a lot of commentary about our marriage. And while people are welcome to their opinions, I have learned over the years the only (earthly) opinions that really matter about my marriage are the opinions that come from my Sunshine and me. In addition, it is safe to say that we both have embraced the collision that is us. Our collision has created a beautiful disaster that is 20 years of marriage! Our collision has created a beautiful disaster of 4 children...joint accomplishments college, in the community, and in church. I know none of this is possible without our first collision in November 2002…

Every collision/encounter we have with others serves a purpose. My Sunshine and I did not just meet each other by accident. I am a firm believer that every interaction we have with individuals has a purpose. While I didn’t know the purpose of our collision, I knew two things in November 2002…I knew that she was worthy of being appreciated and celebrated long before I knew I would spend the rest of my life with her. 

I think if someone asked me how we got to 20 years of marriage I would say we have come this far by learning from our mistakes and doing better. (I know I hold the record for mistakes and learning from mistakes.) The easy part is colliding and falling in love; the easy part is saying I do at your wedding. The hard part is trying to figure out what to do. When the excitement about the initial collision fades, the challenge is to find new ways to collide. It's important to tap into all ways you can to collide and to recognize you have the privilege of being with your best friend, every single day of your life.

To my Sunshine, I am so grateful that we collided in November of 2002… I am ecstatic that our collision has led to 20 years of making a life with you.  We have collided with our dreams; we have collided with the ways we wanna support our children…We have collided in the way that we want to honor God and in 20 years of being Married, I realize that there has been no collision on this planet that I have ever experienced (outside of God) that has been so life-changing like my collision with you. And I look forward to finding new collisions for us to have every single day. My Bride, I love you! I am looking forward to 20 more years…if you'll have me! 

Jet Black…
Elgrie J. Hurd III
-Your Collison/Beautiful Disaster Partner 

Don't Hold Back

June 30, 2024

It is a privilege to be a girl dad! Before I had my own daughter, I had been given the honor of being a godfather to 3 daughters. So now, I'm a father of 4 daughters! What a blessing! The blessings don't stop there. Now two are on their way to college. I couldn't be prouder!
As they begin their next part of their journey in higher education, I think of the book that I received when I graduated with my bachelor's degree. The title of the book was Oh the Places You'll Go! by Dr. Seuss. For those who may not be familiar with the book, it's the story that offers pearls of wisdom for those entering adulthood. The book stresses perseverance over difficult situations and keeping your head high even when all hope seems lost. For years I would give this book to mentees who finished high school or college. To be clear, I am no Dr. Seuss when it comes to writing! Regardless, I still wanted to offer a personalized message to my goddaughters and anyone else who could benefit from a motivational push. So, I offer those who are reading this blog three tips that may be helpful…

Tip #1: Don't let the trauma of those who came before automatically become yours.
The people who came before you have a story but it doesn't have to be your story. People that came before you have had their own setbacks and their own barriers. For many, their barriers become trauma they have not sought healing from. And those barriers/traumas often serve as detractors for them to reclaim their dreams for them to dream. With inability to dream, they may struggle to be your cheerleader. Their trauma strips them of hope; strips them of the possibility of another way for their story to continue. This does not have to be your story! Don't let someone's nightmare destroy your dreams of what may be. Defend your dreams!!! Resist the idea that the trauma of others must become yours to honor them. Free yourself from that logic! Be your biggest cheerleader because no one can walk your journey but you. Remember, your future is not determined by the trauma of all those who came before you.

Tip #2: Don't let the fear of a loved one imprison you from doing things their fear cannot imagine.
When you are the first to do something, it can seem impossible to others. Whether you're the first person you're going to attend college (and graduate), first to get married, first to have a family…the first to play a sport, the first to study abroad…the first to be an entrepreneur, or maybe the first in your family to be a professional artist. Whatever your first might be, fear will always be one of your enemies. When fear tries to set in, you gotta be courageous to not let fear control the outcome. I know what it's like to do things first in the family. It might seem scary; in the end it’s worth it! Take a chance! Take a leap of faith like I have on numerous occasions and know that your loved one's lack of imagination doesn't have to be the shackles that make you stagnant. Snatch the key from fear and free yourself! Live life to its fullest!

Tip #3: Find your home (away from home)!
As one of my goddaughters and other mentees were trying to determine which university to attend, I asked them, “which university makes you not wanna leave?” I went on to tell them that for me, Cal Poly Pomona University was my home away from home. I stressed the idea that wherever they go, it needs to feel like home. So, whatever you're trying to do, whether it's college, considering relocating to another part of the country, or just trying to live your best life, surround yourself with a foundation of people and opportunities that make you feel like home; that makes you feel safe. A place that allows you to be vulnerable and protected at the same time. This requires finding a space that aligns with your values and your faith. Home may look different for different people. But when you find home, it begins on a journey toward you having freedom on this side of eternity.

As I conclude this blog post, it makes me think of Marianne Williamson’s short poem, “Our Deepest Fear.”

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us.

We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small
Does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine,
As children do.
We were born to make manifest
The glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us;
It's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we're liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

I love the poem written by Marianne Williamson. I love it because a lot of us fear being greater than we can imagine. With that greatness comes the responsibility not to hide it. And that responsibility can seem daunting. People will criticize how well you use/don’t use your greatness…people will reach out for self-serving reasons…and some people will walk away from having a relationship with you because they doubt that they too have greatness within them.   Do not hide your light because the world might get more challenging. Take a lesson from Marianne Williamson: You've only got one life to live, so don't hold back! Greatness awaits!!!

Your digital cheerleader for your greatest success!
-Elgrie J. 

***Blog post update: As of July 2024, now I have a new (newborn) goddaughter to look after. The daughter count is now 5!

The Sum is Greater

 

April 30, 2024

My vote is my kids' vote

Stephen Covey wrote The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (1989). One of the habits is synergy. Another way to look at this habit is that the sum is greater than the parts, which means you do more together than you do separately. And if that's not a way to describe what's needed for voting behavior during election time, I don't know what is. We're all not gonna have the same opinions on everything but the reality is if we want to move the needle for things on a local level, on a state level, and on a national level, the people who have the ability to vote have to see the benefit of collective action. Nowhere is that more important for me right now than in the southern sector of Dallas County.

We don't get the luxury to pretend that we all live in a bubble and that each of our decisions only affects us. That's never been true! Although we operate in a very individualistic approach to a lot of things in the United States, the reality is it is a flawed state of mind to dismiss how colle
ctive thinking impacts everybody. There is a term coined by C. Wright Mills called sociological imagination. (The concept of sociological imagination may have existed long before Mills. He is the one that gets credited for coining the term.) The premise behind it is everything affects everything, and everyone affects everyone. And sometimes when it comes to voting, some of us forget that not voting is supporting the majority vote. Some of us forget that if you say no to a solution on the ballot and the no votes are the majority, some of us forget that's only part of the action steps. When a possible solution is placed on the ballot and the majority of voters vote no, it's just as important for the voters who voted no to be part of another solution to address the problem that was attempted to be solved by what was placed on the ballot. On the other hand, if a solution on a ballot wins, voters need to hold those in charge of implementing the voter-supported solution a reality. We don't get the luxury to be lukewarm voters. Voting isn't simply what you do at the ballot; voting should involve more. Voting should involve what you do to get ready to vote. Voting should involve what you do after all the votes are cast and a final decision is made about what was placed on the ballot. Yet for many of us just vote and walk away. What I'm asking of my fellow voters is to do more. What I'm asking is that collectively, we #DoBetter and that we #DoMore. I recognize that the results that are needed where I live can't be done by me alone. We need collective action. We need people to be informed. If you are reading this and you are part of a region or city where voting could improve education, this blog post is for you too.

I have had the privilege to teach dual credit classes, serve as a PTA officer, and serve in the All-Pro Dads organization in my Texas hometown within Dallas County. I've had the privilege to see the unmet needs of my city’s ISD (independent school district).  There are so many needs that students in my city need to be successful, but they can't do it alone. Improving their behavior or standardized test scores will not be enough. They can't simply do it with the teachers because the teachers don't have enough. They can't simply do it with ISD administrators because administrators don't have enough. They can't even do it with parents and community members who are/are willing to volunteer. None of what I have written is enough. The reality is it takes more. It takes more of us because the sum is greater than the individual parts. The groups I have listed are not the sum; they are parts of the sum. Synergy is required! And all those individuals cannot be effective in serving the students of Cedar Hill ISD, without the entire sum.

Election day for municipalities is May the 4th. That's kind of cool, because it kind of lines up with the whole Jedi mantra found in the film series Star Wars. May the fourth be with you, which is a play on the words, may the force be with you! In the film series of Star Wars, the Jedi do not rely on their individual strength, but also the strength of all the Jedi that have come before them. I'm hoping that if you read this and this does not apply to you, I hope you will share it with someone who does. My hope is that if you're reading this and it does apply to you, that you see the benefits in voting for steps to start bringing real long-term solutions in education that will benefit the students of Cedar Hill ISD because it cannot be done with you. I am not naive to miss the fact that to vote in favor of what's on the ballot might be an inconvenience financially…that it might require future sacrifice. But if our goal is to leave our cities, our counties, our state we live in, and this nation better than what we inherited, then we must be willing to think beyond the moment. We must be willing to not be stuck in what has been or what is because it will blind us from seeing the possibility of what can be. A better future cannot happen without the sum of the voters to make that happen. I hope this Saturday you consider rocking the vote in favor of ways that will make public education better in the United States better than it is, and to move the needle closer to what it should be.

Rock the vote!
Elgrie J. Hurd, III
- A Voter Wanting a Better Future!

 

 

Do it for You

March 29, 2024

Going to school and doing well in school wasn't originally for me. I did it for my eldest sister. I learned how to read for her. When she died, I wanted to mimic the light she shined for the world…I wanted to bring joy like she did. But that only takes you so far…I pursued a pre-med option for college to honor my sister. So, I signed up for all the hardest science classes in high school. I even signed up for extra classes. But then, I struggled to stay motivated…I tried prepping to major in engineering for my dad...but that didn't work. I wasn't motivated to continue. External motivation can be a starting point. However, I came to learn that without internal motivation, doing things on behalf of others is not enough.

When it comes to sports, I love basketball and soccer. In high school my love for these sports didn't match my talent nor opportunity. Fortunately, I did have other avenues. I needed a mix of opportunity and passion. This mixture helped me thrive in wrestling and distance running…And it was then I realized the lane I found was not the lane I expected, but it was a lane for me…That was internally motivating. It pushed me to do more than the bare minimum; I was inspired to do more. I did it for me…even if others didn’t get it. Fast forward to my adulting days. As a parent I've seen all four of my biological children figure this out in their own unique way…For this blog I wanna focus on how my daughter is embracing this idea.

This month is Women's Herstory Month…On March 24th I witnessed my daughter’s efforts to define her story come full circle! Most of my kids don't put in a request to play sports. When they don't give me ideas, they get assigned to track & field…A few years ago my daughter decided she was ready to create her own path for sports. She left track; she chose roller derby. I'm excited about her decision. I'm even excited about her challenges. She experienced the challenges of finding a team. Apparently, teenage (junior) roller derby teams are hard to come by, depending on where you live. She had to learn the sport and improve her skating skills. She had to wrestle with the growing pains of being coached, breaking bones (literally), and even becoming a true teammate. Through it all, she has not been deterred for long; she has kept pushing because it was what she wanted. She knew if she didn't lead the effort, it wasn't going to happen. And now, her internal drive has become infectious! Now I'm internally motivated to support her endeavor…it's personal! I have internal AND external value in all she does for roller derby…I'm motivated to be one of her biggest fans. I love she has given me new reasons to be a proud #GirlDad. 

Inspiration from others only gets you so far. If you've got no buy-in for what you do, it is bound not to last. Every action you do should be tied to motivation that matters to you. It doesn't matter how it starts; it matters how you develop it. Sometimes the motivation starts off simply because it needs to get done. Other times it starts off as a need to reach an accomplishment. Remember, extrinsic motivation can turn into intrinsic motivation. Your motivational opportunities are waiting for you! Go get them! Do it for you!!!

 

-Elgrie J.
#GirlDad

What You Don't See

February 28, 2024

 “...But what they don't know is when you go home
And get behind closed doors, man you hit the floor
And what they can't see is you're on your knees
So the next time you get it, just tell 'em
It's the God in me…”  - Mary Mary

 

The top athletes spend countless hours prepping for the greatness we see

People see athletes like Patrick Maholmes, Simone Biles, Sarina Williams, and Steph Curry in their elements. To the casual fan, these athletes make what they do in their sport look easy. But that's far from the truth. Perception isn't always reality. I'm not a professional athlete…but I understand that without the work that you don't see, these unique athletic talents do not blow audiences away. I love the song by the Gospel duo Mary Mary called "God in Me” (2008) because their song fits the story of the athletes I have mentioned. But the application doesn't stop there. Anyone who is successful, it is the behind the scenes work that got them there. Success that we see in others is just the tip of the iceberg. The real work is often hidden.

I recently got a compliment about the work I do as a professor and the work I do when it comes to putting on educational workshops. What many people don't know is that I take my work very seriously. The concept of educating is not just a job to me. I am very intentional about trying to be the best version I can be in the classroom and as a consultant. So that means I am not afraid of putting in work. I am almost always looking at ways in which I can teach that will engage students better…I'm looking for feedback from my students and trying to implement their suggestions before the course ends. I am constantly dissecting the growth areas my students/supervisors/trust colleagues are identifying in how I facilitate my classes…

The prep work before the show is a puzzle I welcome! 

…I strive to be a forward thinker. I research the latest fads and the controversial topics (that are likely to not disappear) to be able to demonstrate to my students how what we're talking about in class is relevant beyond the classroom. I am trying to look at what are the best practices of consultants. I wanna know what helps them be successful. I wanna know what helps other consultants increase their referrals and increase their impact…I am not just simply teaching. I am trying to become a master of my craft when I'm not in the classroom. At home (when I am not resting), I am thinking of ways to make what I do to be the best version of me. My foundation of being the best version of me is attempting to answer how do I shrink the gap of what is polarizing to become small enough to create a safe environment for meaningful conversation and action. To me, no matter what compliments are sent my way, I feel there's a large space between where I am and where I want to be.

What I do isn't easy. It requires a level of commitment. It requires a level of reflection, and it requires a very, very focused intentionality in the things that I do. And I love every single aspect of it! Every single aspect of what I do behind the scenes allows me to do what I do in the classroom and as a consultant. I wouldn't trade it for the world. To me, it's all part of the process. And I'm here for it!!! I ain’t afraid of the hustle…I ain’t afraid of hard work that no one sees because I know the fruit the work yields.

It's important that I offer a warning to what I have written thus far. Just because you make something a priority in your life, does not mean you are gonna get the results you want when you want them. And it's not necessarily because you're not trying hard enough. My hope is that your behind-the-scenes commitment gets the results that you're looking for. And if you don't get the results that you're looking for, my hope is that you know you gave every ounce of blood, sweat, and tears. My hope is your focus and strategies were optimized to the best of your abilities. And if you do all of this, no one can say you didn't give it all. But I'm an eternal optimist…Become your own alchemist for success! Find the right formula for your dedication, timing, and resources. When you finally get those results, all that hard work will make the victory that much sweeter. So, go get it!

Elgrie J.
- A fan of your behind-the-scenes work and your life success

A Different Perspective

 January 29, 2024

 

To run well, mindset AND perspective matter!!!

Sometime in the recent past I traveled to Southern California…I decided to go for a run at the suggestion of a friend. In transparency I wasn't motivated to run. Every trip I go I pack my running shoes. But lately, my running shoes tend to stay in my bag more often than they are taken out to run. I've been living scared. I'm running from the fear that I can't be the runner I wanna be. But, right before running I had told someone you only need a little faith to conquer a lot of doubt. So, I put my shoes on, switched to running glasses and took off…

…as I ran it was hard. I was thinking - Kid, you outta shape! But that wasn't enough to stop. It wasn't quitting time; it was time to quit listening to the negative. So, I kept running. My running time for the 1st mile was OK. My 2nd mile was trash…near the end of the 2nd mile I got a new perspective…the reason the running was initially so hard was because I was running uphill and didn't even know it. From this new perspective I could see the steepness I took on. It was HELLA steep!

When you get a different perspective from where you started you often get to see things you missed. You may be able to have better strategies and more confidence to finish what you started. In my 3rd mile of the run, I was re-energized and excited. I felt sanguine about the possibility of running faster than I had…the finish line didn't feel as far.

Your current perspective may make your goals seem impossible or improbable. That does not mean how it's gonna end up. If the perspective you are using isn't helping get traction on the situation, find another perspective. Sometimes it is in the form of listening to someone who has sage and is not in your situation...other times it may require you literally moving to another physical location to get the insight you need. (And you might have to move more than once.) What you have to lose is

Perspective matters to see the BIG picture

NOT the question to ask…the better question is what are the possibilities of what can be gained from a different perspective.

It's 2024. Maybe what you wanted to do in 2023 wasn't meant to remain out of your reach. Perhaps you just need to find a different perspective…Victory may be more realistic than you think. Just stay willing to pursue the idea of shifting your perspective for insight you are searching for.

 

Be well! I hope you have a life-altering 2024!
- Elgrie J., former (for now) competitive 5k runner