Window of Opportunity

February 28, 2022

I love a good cross-country movie

 I am a fan of most cross-country films. If you keep up with sports like cross-country, you know it is an underappreciated team sport. For the team to win, having the best runner is not enough. A winning team must be able to find a way for their top 4-5 runners to tap into their best effort to help the team have the best overall finish. As a distance runner in high school, I had to learn that winning the race did not necessarily mean my team would win the meet. In time, I had to learn that finding out what motivated my teammates to take their efforts to the next level mattered. I spent the last year of my high school experience focusing on making sure my team increased our odds of winning more cross-country meets. Back then I did not realize this was the foundation of servant leadership. What I finally began to realize, is that to win I needed to accept the fact that the effectiveness of my team was greater than the effectiveness of an individual on the team.

I had no idea my running experiences were preparing me for a calling to be a parent, mentor/coach, and a servant leader. Servant leaders seek to make the individuals who are following them to maximize their potential. For some organizations/teams, maximizing a follower’s greatness may come at the cost of the leader or the organization. A servant leader is not deterred by this possibility. As a servant leader, denying a person’s greatness is denying the world to be deprived of a gift that can change the world. This is not an option! As a parent, mentor/coach, and/or leader there is a small window of opportunity to empower individuals to recognize their greatness at an early stage in their development. Why does that matter? So, they can maximize their potential. Also, this allows individuals under someone’s leadership to reduce the chances of regret or missed opportunities.

In hindsight, my window of opportunity for teaching came in an unexpected moment. I was given an opportunity to coordinate an event for my peers in the resident hall I was staying during my freshman year of college. It didn't go as planned. It did open my eyes to what could be. Programming student events led to becoming a resident advisor, and becoming a resident advisor led to leadership and teaching opportunities for the entire university. This is my backstory to leadership and teaching. The backstory of an individual's success is important. Without knowing where someone came from it is difficult to truly comprehend the significance of their success. If we look closer, we see there was a moment that could/did change everything for each of us. For some of us, there was a moment where an intervention from someone occurred that facilitated our path towards confidence (and possibly greatness).

My son and I celebrating his 5k success

My son’s potential backstory in sports started with running long distances. To be clear, my second son is NOT a distance runner, but he's got the potential to be. He typically does not train or volunteer to run long distances. Recently, he showed me that his window of opportunity was upon us. He stated he wanted to earn a medal for a 5k race. To earn a 5k medal, you must run a 5k race. To his benefit, there was an upcoming 5k that he would feel like he earned a medal, because it was probably one of the hilliest 5k races in North Texas. But none of that matters if he was not willing to trust the process and I was not willing to guide him in the process. When it was all said and done, he earned his 5k medal, and placed in the top three of his age group…He even placed in the top ten for all boys under the age of 18. The confidence he developed in that grueling 5k was amazing. My son discovered he had a talent for running. And since that race, he has not looked back!

Like my son, there are individuals who need a push. Sadly, too many may be unsupported and unaware of the opportunity for them. Missing the window does not mean their chance to walk in their purpose/talent will never come. It likely means it will be delayed, and the world gets a delayed version of benefits. There is not time for that! Everyone is not a servant leader. But, for those of you who are, step up and do your part! I challenge you to help someone find their window of opportunity! #IAmCauseWeAre

 

Be well!
- Elgrie J./Father of the Hurd 3^rd Crew

The Worst They Can Say…

 

January 29, 2022

“You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.” - Wayne Gretzky

So many people often push for new year's resolutions. Unless we get the perfect conditions for our resolutions, our resolutions simply remain as wishful thoughts. We do not have to throw in the towel. We have options! My friend/adopted sister, Karla, gave me insight to this years ago. Unfortunately, it took me some time to realize what worked for her could work for me.

Karla went to college and majored in social work. And when she started her professional work, much of her roles were in the education and non-profit sectors. Most of her positions she loved. Most of her positions she was a rock star. Often, the organizations she worked for did not pay her what she was worth. At times, this created a gap between the things she needed/wanted to thrive personally and professionally. But that did not discourage her. Karla understood the power of not being afraid to ask others. Her rationale about asking people was the worst they can say is no. Transportation, entertainment, and even supplies for work were gifted to her because she focused on the best outcome rather than the worse.

Don't assume the answer is NO!

Too often we focus on the negative; we focus on the worst-case scenario when determining if we should consider taking any action. When we do this, we cripple ourselves from opportunities before we even get started. College applicants do this. They do not even apply to a college/university because they figure they have not shot to get in. Wayne Gretzky said, “You miss 100% of the shots you never take.” The worst thing they can say is no. They could also say yes if you take your shot! Embrace positive psychology!

Positive psychology focuses on the aspects of the human experience that help us thrive and accomplish things. Karla may not have explicitly called her efforts positive psychology; her intentions were all the same. In 2018 I wanted to thrive as an educator. I wanted to use more of my talents to create a greater impact. And I knew worrying about the noes I might get did not matter compared to the impact of getting a yes as the response to my inquiries. I reached out to colleges throughout the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex to inquire about opportunities to teach. I asked where I was teaching adjunct and asked to teach more classes. They said yes. I then reached out to a place I had considered attending nearly a decade earlier. They remembered my encounter with them. We met and I discussed my teaching philosophy and my teaching experiences. They said yes, too. One yes paved the way for more people to say yes. On my way to becoming a full-time adjunct faculty there were some nos. I did not think too much for it, because I knew it fostered another opportunity for someone to say yes. Fall 2019 I became a full-time professor of psychology and sociology at a community college because I knew there were more responses that ended in a yes than in a no. I just needed to identify the right opportunities. 

Don't be afraid of the worst. Be prepared the best of  2022...2022 doesn't have to be perfect for success. Say yes to new possibilities! What’s the worst that can happen?!

Be positive!

 Be well!
- Elgrie J.

 

 

Ain't Got the Time

December 27, 2021

Don't let the desire for perfection blind you from the possible

As I approach the start of a new decade in this life of mine, I'm getting better at being grateful for the timing of things. Issa Rae was right on time with her series finale episode of Insecure. The episode hit close to home. The idea of living in some aspect of a dream-future often seems out of reach. And too often we make the mistake of thinking it was not meant to be because the dream is not exactly how we pictured it. But that’s life! It’s not always going to be perfect. That doesn’t mean it can’t be ideal…it does not mean your dream cannot become your reality.

One way to miss out on your dreams becoming a reality is allowing certain conversations/relationships to be part of your life. At this point, I'm OK muting unnecessary conversations/relationships. My soul, my hopes, and my health need to be maintained to be able to reach my dreams. And some conversations/relationships are detrimental to those things. Being loyal or feeling guilty are not acceptable reasons to stay engaged with a conversation/relationship. Too many people wanna be heard…too few wanna be accountable or verify if their input is actually helpful. I ain't got time for that, anymore.

I'm OK ending some conversations before they even start. Conversations upholding ideologies like racism, sexism, xenophobia, and homophobia are things I do not need to engage in. Hate being masked as a correction with intentions rooted in love is a hard pass for me! I ain't got time for the clickbait! There is no need for me to engage in a dialogue that is not rooted in love, empathy, and/or a desire to understand the cultural context of others. What we say (and how we say it) matters. I seek to leave the world better than I found it. Conversations that ignore this idea are not a priority for me!

It's time to evaluate your time

I'm OK accepting my priorities will not appease everyone. My order of priorities are as follows: my God, my wife, my kids, my dreams, and everything else. At this point I'm not looking for consultations on how to rearrange them. I am not looking for people's approval or understanding of my dreams or my strategies. It's nothing personal. I value feedback. I also value the ability to accept it or reject it. Everyone does not fit my criteria to offer me meaningful feedback (and I'm learning to be OK with that). 

I ain’t got the time for the unnecessary. If I am being honest, that was always the case. I am finally wise enough to accept this truth.  What about you?!

Be well!
-Elgrie J.

Just Pause

 

November 26, 2021

"Drive slow homie!" - The artist formerly known as Kanye West

 

The pandemic has put a lot of our lives on pause. It has sent many of us in two directions. One direction is to re-evaluate our lives and make meaningful changes. The other direction some of us have tried to cling to is to operate like nothing has changed. I am guilty of this, and it has proven to not work. It hasn't worked because things aren't the same. I'm in grad school (again 🙄), teaching face-to-face and online in a pandemic, husband duties, daddy duties, and community obligations. To adjust I took a quasi-break from social media. I didn't post online. I didn't read a whole lot on social media. And to my surprise I didn't miss much. It was a good pause from things.

 

It's OK to pause from things in your
life to get right

That good pause wasn't enough! My pause needed to be more than on social media...I gotta be OK saying no...I gotta be OK focusing on me...focusing on what matters. When I applied to DBU's Ph.D. in Leadership Studies I wrote how I was willing to remove myself from fellowships and not take on a bunch of new obligations. I gotta confess, it is easier said than done. Most of my life I've wrapped my mind around being an overachiever. But, the COVID pandemic became part of my reality, and my mentality of achieving A's in all aspects of my life was now a problem. When your obligations exceed your bandwidth to maintain your overachiever mentality what do you do? You change for success or fail in stagnation. I realized I had to reflect on the lessons of my ancestors and elders for my next steps.

 

I am a descendant of people who did so much with so little. For my ancestors and elders the odds have never been in their favor in the United States. To be Black in the United States is a great paradox. The institutions are made to exclude those who are bequeathed Black bodies. Yet, the will of those in Black bodies combined with some Divine intervention made the impossible possible. So, I gotta do my part. This includes setting better boundaries and adhering to them. It also means when I've done my part to move out the way and let God do the rest. I gotta make room in my circumstances to let God do His Thing. I'm learning to attempt to control less, so He can control more.

 

I'm embracing pressing pause on the things that don't matter in the grand scheme of things. It's a work in progress I cannot neglect. The negative consequences are too severe. Now I understand when you pause from the distractions, you un-pause living! I plan to live in a more meaningful way. That's my plan. What about you?!

Be well!

-       Elgrie J

The Simple Things

July 31, 2021

A public love letter to My Sunshine...

Our story is full of simple things. A simple comment about Black beauty. A simple touch. A simple slice of pizza. I had no idea that a simple exchange in words would help me discover the best friend I've ever had (outside of Jesus).

Maybe my first gift for my Sunshine should have been a foreshadow clue on how some things would play out in our marriage. I created a candygram. That was a big deal for me. It was the first time I had made one! The candygram was full of messages telling you how you were a sweet tart and how I was a zero without you. It was a micro of my expression of love and appreciation...I didn't do grandiose...I did do intentional things from the heart.

17 years into this marriage, I'm still just a simple guy. Just give me my Jesus, my Sunshine, my kids, and some quality root beer and I'm good to go. Yet, somehow you found ways to expand my simplicity. Whether it is you tightening my locs, sharing meals, home schooling our Hurd 3rd Crew, or the peace your random, unexpected hugs bring me. Thank you for the simple discoveries.

Love "Sunday Morning"

In the 17 years of us being married, you took what we started when we courted into one of the greatest gifts of all-time. You showed me to be simply me, no matter who is around. That was/is hard. To be vulnerable to you and the world was/is scary. Prior to meeting you my vulnerability was exploited. You made it my superpower! It helped me at work to connect with people like no one else could...It helped me be a better parent. Showing my kids that their superhero sometimes falls short (and his human) was one of the greatest gifts you have given me (that keeps on giving).

So, is there more for us to do and learn? ABSOLUTELY!!! 17 years in, and we are just getting started! At age 17, we were far from having things figured out. Why would 17 years into a marriage be any different?! I hope we continue to have excitement to do things we have done; travel to places we have never seen. I hope we get to grow in Jesus in ways we never knew we could. And if for some reason all of these things are not part of future chapters of our story, I hope we do as much as we can until our story on this side of infinity ends.

It's the simple things!

I love you more now than I did when we first got married. I’m looking forward to my love for your deepening even more...I’m looking forward to all the little things to come!

"Thank you for this journey, no matter how it ends."

- Elgrie J.

Run it Back!

 June 30, 2021

I’ll never forget December 6, 2019. That was the date on the letter from the university where I was working on my dissertation (virtually). That was when I learned my dissertation chair had given up on me. My university had given up on me. The letter informed me that I was no longer allowed to continue with my doctoral studies. For nearly 6 months I fought the decision. I made phone calls, I sent emails, I submitted appeals. No matter the efforts, the results were the same: my doctoral journey was over. And that fact weighed heavy on me.

Academic failure was not something I had experienced before...not like this. I had to weigh the
consequences of how I wanted to proceed. I already knew that in some Ph.D. programs, over 66% of the students do not finish. As a matter of fact, less than 2% of the 332 million people in the USA have a Ph.D. But what I did not realize was how much I didn't know. I did not know it mattered that your dissertation chair needed to be your biggest fan at the university, or how much power a dissertation chair had on making or breaking your success. I underestimated the red flags encouraging me to find a new program long before my demise came. I let my pride lead my decision to keep pushing even when I felt I was alone in my fight to finish my dissertation. I always tell my kids Hurds don’t quit! And while it can be a great mantra, it can also be a blinder to facilitate an unnecessary loss. For me, it became the latter.

I’m grateful for the persistence I developed
playing hoops with my big brother.

I don't like losing. That desire not to lose started at an early age. In basketball I would lose to my big brother...again, again, and again. I would keep telling him to run it back. I wanted a redo until I won. I didn't always win. But when I did, it was enough to handle the losses...But when people tried to suggest to me to run it back as it related to trying again to get a Ph.D., it was a no-go. I was done! I didn't want to be a number…I didn’t want to be a cash cow for another university. I didn't want to do all the work again with no assurance I was going to have different results. It all boiled down to the fact that I was not sure if I was good enough. I gave my all. I gave up so much and had nothing to show. (To be fair, I walked away with my second master’s. I know for some that’s a victory. But to be nearly two chapters into a dissertation, it was hard to see and accept that victory).

A year after #ProjectDissertation came to an end, thoughts of wanting to finish what I started resurfaced. It also left me in a quandary: With a Ph.D. or without a Ph.D. I can teach at community colleges (my career original goal), so why try again? I got slammed with a lot of different perspectives to that inquiry. A mentor encouraged me not to be overcome by imposter syndrome. My past failures do not determine my potential future success. A friend said, “It's not about you!” He reminded me of some of my reasons that got me started to attempt a Ph.D. program in the first place...I wanted to increase access, so more voices could be heard. I wanted to help coach the leadership of organizations up or help those in leadership roles transition out. My wife was the nail in the coffin. She helped me acknowledge that maybe this was all part of God’s Purpose for my life. Maybe I got it wrong. Maybe I had to lose to get it right. In the end they were ALL right.

 My first day in my journey as part of Cohort XVII

Eventually I stopped moping around and started moving on. After a lot of research, I chose Dallas Baptist University (DBU). I chose DBU because it is different (and better) than my previous university. I found a better support system within the university. A university whose priority is a belief I can actually finish what I started. DBU offered me administrators, a department chair, full-time faculty, a cohort of peers, and alumni who are fully committed. Last, but not least, DBU is a place where I do not need to explain the urgency of my research focusing on Jesus and leadership of Protestant churches. I did not know how much all those things mattered for my success, but they do!

I don't know how this story ends, but I'm gonna run this back! Win or lose...I'm ready to give God (The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit) the glory for the opportunity. I'm all but done! I hope those reading this will find ways to support my efforts. For those who join me, together we WILL run it back!

 

Elgrie J. Hurd, III
- Doctoral Student, Leadership Studies Program,
Gary Cook School of Leadership, Dallas Baptist University

The Cost of Change

May 7, 2021

 "Use it!" – Blade: Trinity (2004)

The first week of May is Teacher Appreciation Week in the United States of America. This year, many parents/guardians showed up and showed out in their appreciation of teachers. Teachers and schools’ staff are finally starting to be recognized. For many teachers, not even a pandemic or lack of support stopped them from creating space for students to learn. So, where do we go from here? When the good feelings about teachers begin to wane, and the gratitude turns into expectations of what should be, what then? Is that real change? No! It costs more!

Phrases like social justice and real/meaningful change have become buzz words in a new effort to restore humanity to the human experience (for all). But words alone are not enough. That means creating a social media platform to raise awareness isn't enough...sharing a news story isn't enough...Blogging isn't enough. These can all be good starts, but we gotta find a way to do more. Too often we compare our baby steps towards change to those who do nothing at all. This allows us to suggest to ourselves that we are doing something on a gargantuan scale. (I can say I am guilty of this behavior). In these moments we naively misunderstand the cost of change in its entirety. In these same moments we can foolishly think we cannot be part of the problem because we did something to fight against the status quo of oppressing other humans. Au contraire! Change is not simple; it is more complex. We gotta go beyond words. We gotta live it out.

Jellyfish syndrome is the concept of people having good intentions but do more harm in their actions than good. Whether is one is woke, naïve, or in denial, we all can create additional problems in our efforts to end problems. Hence, that doesn't mean you can only be part of the problem or part of the solution...you can be both! We must be careful not to mix up barriers to change with the cost of change. We need to know the difference. We need to be real about the cost of change. Change doesn't come free. You gotta be willing to educate yourself. You have to be willing to acknowledge the problems that are there and the role(s) you play towards those problems. If we don't name the problems that block change, we cannot be held accountable for our parts that contribute to the problems. So, while the United States is trying to move past the pandemic, our educational system is stuck. It’s stuck because as a nation we did not fix what was already broken, and we have not addressed the new problems in education that have manifested.

To fix any societal ills (education or otherwise), we all gotta sacrifice. We all must lose something that matters to us! We all gotta be willing to be inconvenienced consistently! Consistently, we must be willing to correct our behavior. We must hold people in our sphere of influence accountable, consistently. We ALL must sacrifice our time to invest in something greater than ourselves. In 2021, this is STILL not embraced by the collective. And that’s one reason real change for the better is continuously NOT happening in education. It can’t just be some of us. It has to be ALL of us!

I'm not a weightlifter, but I have heard you need pain to get the muscle gain you desire. Muscles grow by muscles being broken. Once they are broken, they can be repaired stronger than they were. I do know a little about distance running. All distance runners endure some type of pain to reach success. The Olympic and competitive marathon runners are no different. The fastest distance runners perfectly mix discipline and endurance of pain better than any other runners. They understand the cost of winning is pain, so they pay the price. To make education better is not a pain-free process. Pain is part of price of change. It's important to make sure the burden of that pain is not just for a few. When this happens, change is likely to be temporary. Education in the United States (and throughout the world) needs meaningful, helpful, and empowering change that will last!

Change cost; choose wisely. Good change is painful, but it's worth it! Sometimes the payoff comes quickly...many times the payoff is slow to generate. Don't be discouraged, be patient. It's coming! So, who's ready to mix their endurance and pain to win the race of change?! Our students of the present (and future) are depending on you! 

-Professor H.