Embrace Your Story

 December 23, 2022

Don't be discouraged by detours in your story

Don't compare your story…don't belittle the impact of your story…an informal mentor once asked me to ask people I knew how I had affected their lives. A few people never responded…but there were a lot who did. O.M.G! The responses were not what I expected. I didn't know my story was worthy of celebration.

For me, how I felt about my cancer story was about how I felt my entire life story thus far. I did not think that my cancer story was worthy of celebration. To me, it wasn't a real cancer story because my cancer treatment was not intense or as long as others. But that's not how cancer works. If you have/had cancer, you have a cancer story. The same is true about the success you experience in life. Just because you don't win an Oscar, the World Cup, a Grammy, MVP, the Nobel Peace Prize, or the Pulitzer Prize doesn't mean the value of your success is limited to you.

Your story might be full of detours. That does not stop your story from being worthy of telling…worthy of embracing. Social media is a thorn in our self-worth…we see people portray their best selves, but not their struggles…not their flaws or moments of no self-esteem…Social media promotes instant responses…We often process that as instant results, or that our results should be identical to others…but you ain't them…you don't live their story and you don't need to. Acknowledge the fact that your story will have the ability to connect to others, even if you are not sure how it will happen.

Make time to record your story!

Don't walk into 2023 trying to create a story that you think people are expecting of you! You need to treat yourself better! The world needs you…and all that you perceive as baggage! Use it! Use it all to remind yourself of where you came from. Use it to remind yourself your story is not done yet. And when you all do all these things to embrace your story, you will be surprised by how many others you have inspired along the way. So, keep trucking and keep a written record of your journey because your story is worth more than you think!

 Be well!
-Elgrie J. Hurd III

My Belief is Greater than Your Doubt

November 26, 2022

I am not afraid of a good challenge

In February 2018, the Marvel Studios’ film Black Panther came to the big screen. Before the movie came out, I knew I needed to make this an experience for my whole family. So, I requested the latter half of the day off from work. I told my supervisor I would inform my students why I was leaving early. My supervisor and others thought this might give the students a bad impression; to miss class to see a movie. I told them, Black Panther was going to be more than a movie; it was going to be a cultural game changer. When February 2018 arrived, my belief became reality. Black Panther broke box office records and even made its presence at the Oscars. This fictional world of Wakanda gave hope and inspiration to Blacks and non-white people around the world.

Other movies have come out since then that were game changers…Jingle Jangle (2020), Crazy Rich Asians (2018), Encanto (2021), The Woman King (2022), and Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022). For all of these films, each had to overcome the barriers of doubters. Doubters who did not want to fund the projects. Doubters who did not see the relevance and potential impact of the films. Some rationales of the doubters were rooted in the lack of Eurocentric faces portrayed in these films, the intentional inclusion of women as protagonists, and/or wanting to strip away the stories the filmmakers wanted to tell because they didn’t agree with the success they could bring. In each of these situations, many of the doubters probably did not even realize how their biases really spoke to their lack of vision more than the possibility of what could be. Thankfully the belief of the film makers was greater than the doubts of others.

Doubters underestimated us...our kids believed!!!

I am not a filmmaker, but I have had my own share of doubters in my life. People doubted my wife and I’s decision to homeschool our children for elementary school. The haters said our children would be socially awkward and that they would fall behind academically. We knew differently. Our belief in our skillset and commitment was greater than the confidence of others’ doubts. My wife was formally trained to be a teacher, and I had my own successful experiences teaching middle school and high school. Not only did my children strive academically, but they were able to unlock their unique talents that have been part of the foundation of their self-esteem…Some doubted my wife having a home birth. They questioned the medical soundness of the decision. Some even suggested that supporting my wife could lead to the death of my wife and unborn child. The birth of our fourth son was not only one of the smoothest births my wife had, but it also provided us with inspiration to help us support mothers to birth in peace. In 2018, I quit my full-time job to be a full-time adjunct professor. Doubters told me I would have to do it forever and be unable to support my family. I believed more than they doubted. My one year as a full-time adjunct made me the most qualified candidate for a full-time faculty position. Furthermore, as an adjunct, my family was never without…I had more quality time with them than any time period as a parent.

Too often we are waiting for others to be our biggest fans…unfortunately too often they are our biggest doubters. They think they are helping us play it safe. They believe in the long run it will lead to better success for us. The reality is those people who think they are helping often facilitate our lives to an endless series of what-ifs. In turn, it leads us to living a life heavy with shame. The doubters may not know their family lineage, but I know mine! I come from a lineage of courageous people! My maternal grandmother was courageous enough to take on Mississippi that was controlled by Jim Crow. My maternal grandfather was courageous to take on delivering weapons on the front line in WWII with no weapons other than his mind and his body. My father took on a computer industry that often tried to deny him based on his limited formal education, versus his knowledge that was light years ahead of some of his colleagues (and supervisors).

They said I couldn't...this picture says otherwise

I am not afraid to be courageous in the face of doubters. Whether it is my educational pursuits, how I cheer on my wife and my children, or even how I choose to use my skills to build people up (that are frequently left out). I am not afraid to tell my story in its entirety…the good, the bad, the ugly. The entirety of my story can offer people the encouragement to be courageous in their own journey. Find your family’s origin story of being courageous. And if you cannot find one within immediate family lineage, be the genesis of your family’s origins of being courageous! Believe in what you can do, even when others want to be contrary. Your belief can be greater than the doubts of others. Lean on your faith in you and what you were meant to do in society. The doubters are coming. Are you ready to outlast them?

Stay ready! Be well!
- Elgrie J. 

Cause It Needed to Be Done

 
Dedicated to the Inspirational life of Mr. Bill Russell…Thank you!

 

August 31, 2022

On July 31, 2022 around 2:21pm CST, my Sunshine sent me this text message: “Sit down before you open this… Barack Obama’s Instagram page.” I did not need to know what it was about to know it was not good. I was right. Barack Obama’s Instagram was giving a shout out about Bill Russell, stating, “Today, we lost a giant…As tall as Bill Russell stood, his legacy rises far higher - both as a player and as a person.” That is a good segue to describe what Bill Russell meant to me. Some athletes inspire you as an athlete. Bill Russell inspired me as an athlete and as an individual.

Mr. Bill Russell changed basketball is so many ways

When I was a boy, my dad gave me a Starting Lineup figurine of Bill Russell. At the time of receiving it, I had no idea who he was. There was no Internet accessible like it is now. I had to go to local libraries to figure out who he was. I reviewed almanacs, encyclopedias, and many NBA history books. When it was all done, I learned that Bill Russell was the embodiment of success on and off the court, but for many generations that have come after him, it’s almost like there is sports achievement amnesia surrounding Mr. Russell. Some have forgotten he is part of a rare list in basketball. In one year, he won a national college championship, an Olympic gold medal, and NBA championship. He was the first Black head coach in the NBA, only player-coach to win multiple NBA titles, and he won 11 NBA championships in 13 years. Impressive is an understatement! And throughout his professional sports career he was not always the best player on his team. To me, he was the ultimate teammate on the court. He was often the best teammate on the court because he was willing to do what needed to be done to help his teams win. This holistic package is why Bill Russell is still my favorite basketball player of all-time.

Decades later, I still love playing basketball. What was true when I was a child is still true now. I was never the best player on the court. I wasn't the best shooter, or ball handler, or defender. I knew if I wanted a chance to be part of teams, I had to get out of my feelings, and figure out how I was gonna contribute…I did what needed to be done. I have held onto this mentality as a value that is a foundational aspect of what makes me - me.

In my personal and professional worlds, I do a lot of things that if I chose to promote them might bring notoriety in a monetary way. I edit textbooks, consult for municipalities, volunteer with numerous non-profits, and mentor others. Rarely, will you hear me sharing those things in casual conversation. It is not because they are not important. It is because the recognition is not at the center of why I do it. I picked up this approach from Mr. Bill Russell. He was the ultimate teammate in the community, too. Even in the twilight days of his life, you will hear stories of Mr. Russell doing things in the community (inside and outside the NBA). Mr. Russell did not do things for recognition. For him, he often helped simply because it needed to be done.

Russell welcomed recognition but it wasn't the motivation

Most recently I was nominated by one of my peers to be considered for our college’s faculty of the year award. At first, I was not sure why I was nominated. To me, I do not do anything out of the ordinary. I seek to teach in a way that is engaging and provide ways for the course material to be applied outside the classroom. But, to some of my colleagues, I do more than that. While I recognize some see this as a big deal, I do it because it needs to be done. Whether I ever get publicly acknowledged again for my efforts, I am going to keep doing what I do, because that’s what needs to be done. And apparently, having a “cause it needed to be done philosophy” is contagious. I have had the privilege of seeing my children help others in various ways because it needed to be done. You never know who is watching you. You never know how your values might become values someone else embraces. Act wisely!

I hope more of us do things simply because they need to get done. There are cynical people who believe individuals doing good things because it is the right thing to do (and do it without recognition) is rare. I strongly disagree. There are plenty of people behind the scenes doing great things to make the world better with small and large humanitarian acts. Our challenges are to stop waiting to see behaviors in someone else and to stop waiting for someone to broadcast an individual’s acts of service. We should start looking at ourselves and figure out what is holding us from filling a need when no one is watching or cheering us on. You see a need, be a solution to the need. Why? Because it needs to be done!

Be well!
Elgrie J. Hurd III
-2022-2023 Dallas College’s Minnie Stevens Piper Excellence in Teaching Award Nominee

Number One Fan

 

July 31, 2022

For more than two decades my maternal grandmother was my #1 fan. She believed I could do anything or be anything. And she made sure everyone who came in her path knew it too. My first seasonal job while in college was at an affluent shopping mall. When my grandma learned about my interview, she volunteered herself to attend (and I awkwardly and under duress agreed). She got my hourly wages to be higher than what I was willing to accept. She saw my worth even when I didn't. She knew the relationship pitfalls I ended up in before I did. Things changed when she met my Sunshine. The moment she met her she knew what I knew: My Sunshine is the one; my Sunshine is my favorite-favorite. 

For nearly 20 years, my favorite-favorite has been my Sunshine 🌞.  To those unfamiliar with me or this blog, that is the nickname for Althea, my wife. But she's more than any of these titles. For 18+ years my Sunshine has been my #1 fan. It's like the moment she met my grandmother there was a passing of a baton. Like my grandmother, she often sees the Greatness in me that I don't see. She believed in my ability to teach at colleges and complete academic work at the graduate level. I was Dr. Hurd to her when I only saw myself as Elgrie.

And while I am honored to have Sunshine as my #1 fan, I love the privilege to be her biggest fan. I learned early on that as much as she denies it, she's a life-long learner. I love her commitment to continually learn how to love me. She found new interests and figured out what tools she needed to learn and apply what she knew. Whether it is teaching, tutoring, being a doula, birth educator, midwife assistant, or carpenter, she is always learning. I’m here for it! I’m a fan!

I am a fan of the way she loves others…and that starts with our children. She inspired me in how her love translates into her commitment to love each of our children based on their unique ways. She has taught me that all my children can be my favorites. I am a fan of her heart for those in need. While her target audience may be Black people, she is willing to answer the call of someone in need no matter their background. Most surprisingly, I am a fan because you are the model of living in the moment. It's a difficult thing to operate in a world that encourages you to be so focused on what's next you are likely to not focus on the now…18 years into this marriage I don't wanna miss out on the present because I'm dreading the past or hyper focused on the future. Why rush through the present to get to the future. "The future is coming…sooner than you think." Until then, I want to live out every sunrise and sunset with God's gift to me…my Sunshine.


 Everyone deserves to have a #1 fan. We all need reminders of the value we have that we can’t see in ourselves.  To my #1 fan…thank you…I love you. I hope you feel my passion as your #1 fan…EVERYDAY!

 

Happily in love and married,
Elgrie J.

No Disrespect

 June 30, 2022

 

So, this is a bitter-sweet blog post. I have enjoyed watching “Naomi” on the CW. For my daughter and I it has been our daddy-daughter time. It is part of our casual date. I buy her lunch, or when she’s feeling fancy, she buys me lunch and we hop on the couch and squeeze 1-2 episodes before everyone else gets home. That’s coming to an end. The CW (or whoever is making decisions on which shows get more episodes) decided to axe the show after one season. I’m definitely in my feelings about this decision. The main character is a Black teenager who is smart, popular, rides a skateboard, and loves comic books. This sounds like my daughter (minus the skateboard part). There are not a lot of shows out there with a teenage Black girl as the main character, not tied to any negative stereotypes. (If anyone knows the people who canceled the show, tell them I would at least like to get a meet and greet between Kaci Walfall and my daughter.)

 

One phrase that is always used on the show by Naomi is "no disrespect." From Naomi's point of view, she wants to do 2 things with using this phrase: First, she wants the person to understand her intention…no disrespect. Second, she wants to get her point across. Often in the storylines of the show, the adults continuously tried to deny what she knew. They weren't giving her the credit she deserved. So, while they may have been attempting to be low-key disrespectful to her, she was not attempting to do the same. Like Naomi, I got a few things to get off my chest. My hope is that they are received with no disrespect. 


In my effort to value my voice, I am embracing some things that need to be said for it to manifest. May I have your attention please! Bottom line: I want others to stop stealing my stuff! I want those who say they value what I share in conversations/in the industry to (please) gimme my credit! Gimme me my pay! I want individuals/organizations to stop holding back my royalties. (OK, royalties might be a strong word to use; that's probably a hyperbole.) A one-time payment for a tool/strategy/lesson that is frequently used by an organization that claims to be about DEI (diversity, equity, and inclusion) is gonna be a problem for me. Let's #DoBetter …Denying me credit only adds to my barriers of recognition in my industry. It denies me opportunities in the future. And I’m not OK with this in my future.

Please stop pretending my voice gets the same opportunity. History shows the rules keep changing! Making laws to restore justice didn't end unfair and unjust practiced ideologies. The reality is to get to the finish line I'm not only carrying my own weight, but the shackles of the burdens and expectations I didn't ask for. I have to know what everyone knows. I also have to know what is invisible to people who don't look like me…the color-blind system that sees color until it doesn’t. I wanna finish at the top; I wanna celebrate. But we aren’t there yet, so let's add equity to the equation ASAP!

It's time to end the excuses and get it right! Can I get my recognition? Can we acknowledge the barriers I overcome are not universal? I know the answers to both of these questions is yes. Yet, despite the systemic and systematic roadblocks I am gonna find a way into the victor's seat. And just know, when I finally get a chance to sit in it, I am not volunteering to give it up. And those who want me out of the chair, they will be welcomed to try…No disrespect! ✊🏾

 

Be well!
-Elgrie J. Hurd, III

Do Better

 

May 25, 2022

"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” – Dr. Maya Angelou

On May 24, 2006, my life was turned upside down. I was in prepping myself to be celebrated by my family at San José State University's football stadium to receive my master's in Sociology. I was beginning my journey to be a middle school teacher in the school district serving my hometown…I was still fighting legal problems from an incident I had with law enforcement back in November 2005. But none of that mattered by the afternoon. On May 24, 2006, I learned my wife was pregnant; I was gonna be a father!

As a parent, I've embraced the idea of doing better for my kids. I have also learned just because you do your part as a parent, does not mean it is enough for your kids. For the last couple of years some of my children experienced bullying. For one of my children, the bullying never let up. Our attempts to get the school and school district to resolve the on-going bullying issues were unsuccessful. As a parent, I feel like the educational system I trusted to keep my child safe failed to do so. Rather than addressing the problems with the bullies, there was a lot of blaming my child (the survivor). The benefit of the doubt seemed to be given to bullies, even with clear evidence to suggest otherwise. Rather than investigating how to fix the school/district anti-bullying strategies that failed my child, my wife and I experienced finger-pointing to suggest we did not do enough. The message was made clear for us: The expectation for parents and survivors of bullying is to just accept the lack of accountability, the lack of urgency. I want the school and district to do better because my kid deserves a chance to go to school without being bullied.

May 24th has a new memory for me…Bullying by way of murder. Not even near the end of a school year and our children are not safe at school from domestic terrorism. In the state I call home, 19 children and 2 adults were murdered with less than a week left in the school year. This massacre brought the amount school shootings in the United States to 27 (and we aren't even in June😔)! We keep asking school staff and students to accept school shootings as normal. We keep asking school districts to accept the idea that schools should just focus on the symptoms of school shootings, but not provide them with tools to address the source of the problems. How is it we can make efforts to protect other countries, yet so little is done to keep our schools safe? Other countries have figured it out. Maybe if those who make up policies and provide funding to schools had to work in schools, then things might be different. Maybe they would be motivated to do better!

 I worked in schools. I taught middle school and high school at public schools. And even though I don't teach middle school or high school anymore, I'm still a teacher. I may not teach for high schools, but I do get the privilege to teach dual credit classes for the community college district that employs me. (FYI: Dual credit classes are college courses offered to high school students that allow them to get class credit for high school and college simultaneously.) This past semester I taught all my face-to-face classes at a high school. Unfortunately, there were moments when the school was in lockdown. And in those moments, I wondered if I was going to make it home. I wondered if all the students were going to get the chance to return to their homes. Those thoughts are sobering and scary. This shouldn’t be a reality. We MUST do better!

I’m down to help close the gaps of learning between high school and college. I’m down to use culturally responsive teaching strategies to help my students see the connection of what I teach to their reality. But asking me to take arms in the classroom or treat students as potential enemies?! Not me! I can't do that! There’s not even evidence to support this as an effective means of saving lives. Let’s do better! Justifying why assault rifles can be purchased with ease?! Not me! How long must we remain reactive at the loss of lives?! You want me to pretend other countries are struggling with this school shooting issue at the level it occurs in the United States?! Not me! Not me! Not me! Find someone else! Do better!

Condolences don't bring dead people back to life. Condolences alone do not fix problematic policies. The school shooting at Columbine High School happened in 1999 and yet we are not any closer to solutions for schools to be safe. Too many people who have been elected and are more concerned with their egos, than the lives of their constituents. Too many of us are constituents who do not hold those we elected accountable. Too many of us are constituents who are unwilling to hold ourselves accountable on how our inaction has aided deadly action of others in our schools. Schools' staff and students should not be used as trial-and-error band-aid solutions. School staff deserve better! Our students deserve better! Let’s do better!

 

Frustrated and concerned,
Professor Elgrie J. Hurd, III
- Professor of Psychology and Sociology

Stand Out

April 30, 2022

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."
Matthew 5:14-16 NIV

Don't underestimate the the need of shining!

When I started teaching, I was very intentional about sharing inspirational quotes to inspire my students to be great. One of the poems I used was Marianne Williamson’s  "Our Deepest Fear." One of the parts I appreciate are the lines stating “You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the World. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won’t feel unsure around you.” Some people can't handle the greatness some people are bringing to the table. Those who cannot handle the greatness near them have often operated in mediocrity for so long, seeing/experiencing greatness is overwhelming. When I first started walking into my purpose, I would try to reduce the skills and vision I brought to my employment. I tried to stand out. I thought I was being helpful. Truth is, I was not helping anyone using this tactic. My Sunshine recently reminded me that's NOT what we do! She told me our family does not shy away from standing out. We let our lights shine! 

 If people can't handle your light, don't shine less! Those haters just better get used to it! Dimming your light for others is problematic. When we do, we are denying opportunities to thrive. People who are great didn't start that way. They built on the good of their talents until they became great. When we dim our light, we are denying ourselves future opportunities. Protecting egos of your haters that you work with does not help them learn how to remove Haterade from their diet. It also doesn't help others who need your talents or get noticed by those who have the willingness to help you develop your talents.

It's OK to recognize your place of work may not be for you. You don't have to be the good soldier and endure indefinitely. You don’t need to feel guilty if you have to find another place to shine, even if it means creating the space so that the new place can exist. Some people believe pandemic is waning in the United States. Even if that's true, we are still experiencing side effects. One of the effects is the great resignation. The great resignation refers to people in

Sometimes you are the only light around.

various work industries who decided to retire and/or find a new (and better) employment opportunity. The great resignation was a good wake-up call for many people. It gave many people the green light to chuck the deuces to their employers and embrace the idea their worth needs to be validated. And if their current place of employment was going to recognize their greatness, then some people found different employers. Others got really adventurous and started their own businesses. What will you do with this wake-up call?! 

My time is now! Your time is now! It’s not time to stand down any longer. The world needs your greatness! Do not miss the opportunity to stand out. Whatever option you pursue, ignore the haters, and get ready to light up the world! It’s GO-TIME!!!

 
Be well!
-Elgrie J

Whatever It Takes

 

March 29, 2022

Marvel Studios set the entertainment world on fire with Avengers: Infinity War (2018). But that was only the beginning of a two-part ending. In Avengers: End Game (2019) the remaining Avengers committed to righting the wrong of an infamous villain. Before they begin this dangerous, borderline suicide mission, Captain America tells them all what is at stake. Captain America says, “This is the fight of our lives. And we’re gonna win! Whatever it takes!” I have seen End Game (2019) at least 50 times, and that scene never gets old. It still makes me want to attempt to join the Avengers to defeat Thanos and save the universe!

It is an honor to serve my kids.

I may not be able to save the universe, but I can get the opportunity to do one of the next best things: be an engaged father to my children. I love this privilege that has been given to me. I have 4 kids. So, sometimes the charge of being a daddy might appear to be taxing to outsiders looking in. During the school year, 5 days a week we gotta be out the door before the sun is up. Between work and other required adulting activities, we have to support the travel to school, band practice, art class, swim, Tae Kwon Do practice, sewing class, track, cross-country, community service, and Bible study. For the Hurd 3rd Crew, the show never stops. And I’m grateful I get to serve my kids, daily. Some people ask, “How do you have the energy to push on?” “Don’t you ever wanna quit?” My answers are simple, but not simple. At times, I do wanna quit! I wanna quit more often than I want to admit. But I have the energy to push on for two reasons: First, my source is eternal. So, when I am weak, I lean on Him who is in me. Second, because it’s not about me! It’s about them. To be parent is something everyone is not gifted to be. This reality makes me unafraid to do whatever it takes (that’s ethical) to help my kids get their wins.

As a parent, I'm gonna do whatever it takes. In Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner (1967) the great Sidney Poitier is playing as Dr. John Prentice. In this role he had a very heated conversation with his on-screen father. It was suggested by the on-screen father that Dr. Prentice owed his father. Dr. Prentice responded by stating "If you carried that bag a million miles, you did what you were supposed to do. Because you brought me into this world. And from that day you owed me everything you could ever do for me…" My kids owe me nothing! I owe them everything, but my soul. I owe them to do my part to equip them so they can utilize their agency to confidently make their own decisions. To do this, I strive to model critical thinking and create an environment where they understand they have the power to do what they believe they can do.

Amid helping my kids get their wins, I am still working for my own. I have heard some people tell me that you cannot be a great parent and go for your dreams. I don’t accept this either-or reality. If these individuals are of the Christian faith, they may also suggest you cannot know Jesus and have fun. I reject this as well! (I have found lots of fun in Jesus!) I can seek to be a great parent and push for my dreams. Over the last 4 years I have been doing just that. In 2018, I quit my job and took on the unthinkable…I became a full-time adjunct instructor at various colleges/universities to increase my odds to become a full-time faculty member at a community college. On this journey, my kids have not gotten less of me. In fact, they have had more time with me than ever before. In less than a year, my dream became a reality. For me, my dreams included my kids. And as I continue to build on my dreams, my kids will continue to be included.

When she wins, I win!

The idea of blogging started because of my daughter. It started because I met a phenomenal young woman who created a platform for girls and women around the world to find support and empowerment. That phenomenal woman made the time to listen to my questions about how to best support my daughter who has dreams that are tall enough to reach the sky. That phenomenal woman, Tiffany Pham, thought my voice was worthy enough to be an influencer on her platform. I will never forget that. My daughter wants to turn the fashion world upside down. I am here for it! I know eventually she will do it. While we wait for that day, I am willing to drive her/fly/finance her to get it done. I’ll do all of that and more cheering all along the way. Whatever it takes on my end to help her get there, please believe I’m all in until she gets the victory!

A Proud and Privileged Dad,
- Professor Elgrie J. Hurd, III

Window of Opportunity

February 28, 2022

I love a good cross-country movie

 I am a fan of most cross-country films. If you keep up with sports like cross-country, you know it is an underappreciated team sport. For the team to win, having the best runner is not enough. A winning team must be able to find a way for their top 4-5 runners to tap into their best effort to help the team have the best overall finish. As a distance runner in high school, I had to learn that winning the race did not necessarily mean my team would win the meet. In time, I had to learn that finding out what motivated my teammates to take their efforts to the next level mattered. I spent the last year of my high school experience focusing on making sure my team increased our odds of winning more cross-country meets. Back then I did not realize this was the foundation of servant leadership. What I finally began to realize, is that to win I needed to accept the fact that the effectiveness of my team was greater than the effectiveness of an individual on the team.

I had no idea my running experiences were preparing me for a calling to be a parent, mentor/coach, and a servant leader. Servant leaders seek to make the individuals who are following them to maximize their potential. For some organizations/teams, maximizing a follower’s greatness may come at the cost of the leader or the organization. A servant leader is not deterred by this possibility. As a servant leader, denying a person’s greatness is denying the world to be deprived of a gift that can change the world. This is not an option! As a parent, mentor/coach, and/or leader there is a small window of opportunity to empower individuals to recognize their greatness at an early stage in their development. Why does that matter? So, they can maximize their potential. Also, this allows individuals under someone’s leadership to reduce the chances of regret or missed opportunities.

In hindsight, my window of opportunity for teaching came in an unexpected moment. I was given an opportunity to coordinate an event for my peers in the resident hall I was staying during my freshman year of college. It didn't go as planned. It did open my eyes to what could be. Programming student events led to becoming a resident advisor, and becoming a resident advisor led to leadership and teaching opportunities for the entire university. This is my backstory to leadership and teaching. The backstory of an individual's success is important. Without knowing where someone came from it is difficult to truly comprehend the significance of their success. If we look closer, we see there was a moment that could/did change everything for each of us. For some of us, there was a moment where an intervention from someone occurred that facilitated our path towards confidence (and possibly greatness).

My son and I celebrating his 5k success

My son’s potential backstory in sports started with running long distances. To be clear, my second son is NOT a distance runner, but he's got the potential to be. He typically does not train or volunteer to run long distances. Recently, he showed me that his window of opportunity was upon us. He stated he wanted to earn a medal for a 5k race. To earn a 5k medal, you must run a 5k race. To his benefit, there was an upcoming 5k that he would feel like he earned a medal, because it was probably one of the hilliest 5k races in North Texas. But none of that matters if he was not willing to trust the process and I was not willing to guide him in the process. When it was all said and done, he earned his 5k medal, and placed in the top three of his age group…He even placed in the top ten for all boys under the age of 18. The confidence he developed in that grueling 5k was amazing. My son discovered he had a talent for running. And since that race, he has not looked back!

Like my son, there are individuals who need a push. Sadly, too many may be unsupported and unaware of the opportunity for them. Missing the window does not mean their chance to walk in their purpose/talent will never come. It likely means it will be delayed, and the world gets a delayed version of benefits. There is not time for that! Everyone is not a servant leader. But, for those of you who are, step up and do your part! I challenge you to help someone find their window of opportunity! #IAmCauseWeAre

 

Be well!
- Elgrie J./Father of the Hurd 3^rd Crew

The Worst They Can Say…

 

January 29, 2022

“You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.” - Wayne Gretzky

So many people often push for new year's resolutions. Unless we get the perfect conditions for our resolutions, our resolutions simply remain as wishful thoughts. We do not have to throw in the towel. We have options! My friend/adopted sister, Karla, gave me insight to this years ago. Unfortunately, it took me some time to realize what worked for her could work for me.

Karla went to college and majored in social work. And when she started her professional work, much of her roles were in the education and non-profit sectors. Most of her positions she loved. Most of her positions she was a rock star. Often, the organizations she worked for did not pay her what she was worth. At times, this created a gap between the things she needed/wanted to thrive personally and professionally. But that did not discourage her. Karla understood the power of not being afraid to ask others. Her rationale about asking people was the worst they can say is no. Transportation, entertainment, and even supplies for work were gifted to her because she focused on the best outcome rather than the worse.

Don't assume the answer is NO!

Too often we focus on the negative; we focus on the worst-case scenario when determining if we should consider taking any action. When we do this, we cripple ourselves from opportunities before we even get started. College applicants do this. They do not even apply to a college/university because they figure they have not shot to get in. Wayne Gretzky said, “You miss 100% of the shots you never take.” The worst thing they can say is no. They could also say yes if you take your shot! Embrace positive psychology!

Positive psychology focuses on the aspects of the human experience that help us thrive and accomplish things. Karla may not have explicitly called her efforts positive psychology; her intentions were all the same. In 2018 I wanted to thrive as an educator. I wanted to use more of my talents to create a greater impact. And I knew worrying about the noes I might get did not matter compared to the impact of getting a yes as the response to my inquiries. I reached out to colleges throughout the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex to inquire about opportunities to teach. I asked where I was teaching adjunct and asked to teach more classes. They said yes. I then reached out to a place I had considered attending nearly a decade earlier. They remembered my encounter with them. We met and I discussed my teaching philosophy and my teaching experiences. They said yes, too. One yes paved the way for more people to say yes. On my way to becoming a full-time adjunct faculty there were some nos. I did not think too much for it, because I knew it fostered another opportunity for someone to say yes. Fall 2019 I became a full-time professor of psychology and sociology at a community college because I knew there were more responses that ended in a yes than in a no. I just needed to identify the right opportunities. 

Don't be afraid of the worst. Be prepared the best of  2022...2022 doesn't have to be perfect for success. Say yes to new possibilities! What’s the worst that can happen?!

Be positive!

 Be well!
- Elgrie J.